“Just one, but I haven’t been working, so it’s not a fair comparison.”
“Youhavebeen working. You’ve been planning the fundraiser, volunteering at Resilient Paws,andworking at the café. You’ve beenbusy,” Callie says.
“That doesn’t count. I haven’t been working a job that stresses me out like my job in San Francisco does. Plus, none of those would pay my bills if I moved to Roots.”
“You can’t tell me planning that fundraiser hasn’t been stressful for you. I’ve seen all the hard work you’ve been putting into it, all the details you’ve had to figure out. Maybe it’s not that you aren’t experiencing any stress here. It’s more that the stress you have now is outweighed by the support system you’ve created and all the beautiful things you’re working toward. You’re doing something you believe in. Are you passionate about taxes?”
“No.”
“Maybe that’s been your problem all along. You just needed to realign. You found a solution here that works for you, whether that was intentional or not. I don’t think that will change if you stay. I think it’ll just improve your life.”
“You don’t think it’s me running away from everything?”
“You’d be running away if you left Roots. It’s easier to stay in your old habits, but to actually have to start over and find a way to make life work in Roots, to take a shot at a relationship with Rhett, and to let your parents back into your life again, that’s difficult. But I think it’d be worth it. There’s something more out there for you.”
I give Callie a nudge with my knee. “Thank you. Why do you have to be right all the time?”
“It’s a blessing and a curse.”
Laughter breaks free, and it feels good. The last several minutes have been more intense than I expected.
“Your turn!” Callie says, turning to Lauren with a smile on her face.
Lauren starts rambling, trying to evade the question and steer the conversation in another direction, but as Callie keeps prodding her, the conversation takes a turn.
Lauren chokes on a sob, and as tears stain her cheeks, she whimpers, “Am I just stupid? I thought Austin and I were meant to be. From the moment I laid eyes on him, it felt that way, and we just made sense. Both our families are ranchers. He’s the perfect person to run the ranch with me. But now, it just hurts to love him. I feel like I’m clinging onto us so tight, and he’s just pushing me away. I’m starting to think maybe he never even cared about me. He just cared about the ranch.”
I leap up from the couch, running to grab a box of tissues, and setting it in her lap as I wrap a comforting arm around her. “Why do you think Austin just cares about the ranch?”
“You know how I said he’s on a business trip right now?”
I nod.
She brings a tissue to her nose, blowing loudly. “He’s been going on a lot of these trips. He says he’s building relationships with other ranchers and seeing what they are doing so we can improve Copper Hill, but he’s yet to come home with a new idea. He doesn’t tell me much of anything about his trips, and honestly, I’ve felt us drifting apart for a while now.”
She dabs a tissue under her eyes before continuing on. “And the worst part is, I think he’s cheating on me. I haven’t proved it yet, but I could’ve sworn he came home smelling like another woman the last couple trips. I know I’m probably just being paranoid, but I can’t shake the feeling.”
“Never doubt your intuition. I always hated that prick,” Callie says.
I give her the eye, murmuring, “Cool it,” before turning back to Lauren. “I’m sure there has to be some other explanation. I don’t know Austin well, but I’d like to think he’s a good man if you saw something in him. Maybe it’s just the stress of the ranch now that he realizes it’s going to be his responsibility.” Growing more confident by the second, as I think about the ways I’ve previously closed people off to protect them, I add, “Yeah, that has to be it! He’s probably just trying to prove that he is worthy of you and the responsibility of taking care of the ranch, so he hasn’t focused on you as much. He will come around. Have you talked with him about how you’re feeling?”
“Loads of times! Nothing has changed. It usually ends up with him storming out on me.”
“Have you mentioned the cheating thing to him?”
“No, I want to believe in Austin.” She pauses like she’s plucking which parts of the truth to tell. “He was my first love, and I always pictured him being the person I grew old with. I’m trying not to let my mind get the best of me and ruin our relationship. I’m trying to give him the benefit of the doubt. We’ve spent eight years of our lives together. I owe it to him.”
The hurt in Lauren’s eyes is evident, and I’m finally understanding what has been weighing on her since the day I met her. It pains me to see that she feels so stuck. It’s clear she’s unhappy, but she’s afraid to do something about it. I just want to fix things for her.
Then it hits me. That must be how everyone else around me feels, watching me suffer when I have the power to make a change.
Callie interrupts my thoughts as she leaps up from the couch. “We just need to get you proof! That will give you peace of mind.”
I narrow my eyes at her. She didn’t even want Lauren to come out with us tonight. Maybe it helped to see that “Little Miss Perfect” isn’t so perfect after all.
“How would we do that?”
“I don’t know. We could show up tonight and surprise him. That would either be great for your relationship as a spur of the moment little getaway together, or it would finally give you the proof you need. Do you know where he’s staying?”
