Once the door clicks shut,Callie immediately drags Lauren and me onto the couch. “Who’s up first?”
“First for what?”
“Girl talk. Which one of you is going to tell me all about your life first?”
Lauren drags one of the throw pillows in front of her, crossing her legs and remaining silent.
“How about you go first?” I offer.
“I don’t have anything going on in my life, though.”
“There has to besomething.”
Callie purses her lips, thinking hard. “Nope. Nothing. My life is boring. I need to bring some more excitement into it.”
“Um, what do you call tonight?”
“You know what I mean. Don’t worry. I had a lot of fun tonight, but I don’t have a wedding coming up or a big fundraiser I’m planning and a handsome roommate I’m this close to finally getting with.” She pinches her thumb and forefinger together.
“Wait, isn’t there something going on withyouand Rhett?” Lauren asks Callie. “I heard he was at your place late last week. Some ladies at Sweet Mae’s Diner were talking about it the other day.”
My stomach sinks.Am I a total idiot who tried to come onto someone else’s man? Not just someone else’s, but Callie’s!Callie is my friend. I adore her, and I value our friendship.
Callie’s brows knit together. “Oh, that’s just talk. I promise you there is nothing going on with Rhett and me. Whatever someone thinks they saw, they’re just plain wrong.”
Relief washes over me immediately. I’m not sure what would make people spread that rumor, but I’m smart enough to know the talk around this town is never true. If Callie says nothing is going on, then I believe it. I think.
“You’re sure there’s nothing? I’m not stepping on any toes?”
Callie reaches across, taking my hands in hers. “I promise you there isnothinggoing on with Rhett and me. Never has been, never will be. He’s so far gone for you.”
I scrunch up my nose. “See I kind of thought so too, but we spent all day together last week, and he still won’t completely open up to me. It doesn’t matter anyway. I’m leaving soon.”
“I thought you just told Rhett you wanted to stay?” Lauren pipes up.
My stomach somersaults. I was supposed to keep this a secret until I had everything figured out. This is what I get for opening my big drunk mouth.
Sighing, I tell the truth. “Idowant to stay, but I need to figure some things out first. I haven’t wanted to tell anyone I’m thinking about it because I’m scared I won’t be able to find a job here or convince my dad that it makes sense for me to quit my job in tax. I don’t want to become a burden or ruin my relationship with my parents that I’ve started to build back up over the last couple months. There’s just so much I have to work out still. You have to promise not to tell anyone I’m thinking about staying.”
“We promise.”
“You don’t need to worry about finding a job,” Callie says. “You already have a source of income from the café, and we can find you something else. The world has changed. You can work from anywhere in the world. Living in Roots won’t hold you back from having whatever job you want.”
“I looked at jobs this morning before I came in for my shift, but I don’t even know what to look for. The accounting jobs all seem so dull. I get that same sense of dread reading the job descriptions for those roles as I do when I think about going back to my public accounting job, but I’m not qualified for anything else. I’m just so scared I won’t be able to figure out how to make it work.”
“What if you do figure it out? Isn’t it worth trying?”
“Yes, but my life in Roots was always supposed to be temporary. What if staying here doesn’t solve any of my problems? What if my anxiety comes back and I push my parents away again? What if Rhett finally realizes I’m too much of a mess to ever love?”
“You are in control of your life. It’s up to you to keep getting the help you need to manage your anxiety and up to you to put in the time for your relationship with your parents. It’s even up to you whether you keep trying to get through to Rhett or give up. Just don’t let fear keep you from being happy.”
I’m speechless. I look from Callie to Lauren, hoping she will help me.
Thankfully, she does speak up. “What brought you here?”
I explain how my coach found me at work and then how my parent’s concern for me brought me to Roots during my time off.
“Have you had any panic attacks since you came here?”
