I straighten up a little. “I’ll do it.”
“What?”
Looking back up into Andrew’s beautiful blue eyes, I repeat, “I’ll do it.”
“Yes!” He wraps me up in a bear hug. “I didn’t want to push you too hard, but I knew you wanted to! You aren’t going to regret this. This will be a story you’ll tell your kids someday!” He rattles on in excitement. “Rebecca would be so proud.”
His words crack my heart in two, but I plaster on a smile anyway. It must not be entirely convincing because his smile falters as he asks, “What’s the matter?”
“Rebecca would be proud. That’s all. I just miss her,” I say, shrugging and trying not to let the alcohol get the best of my emotions.
Andrew pulls me back into his brawny arms and squeezes tight, rubbing my back. “I miss her too.” After a moment he adds, “Somehow doing these things makes me feel a little closer to her, you know?”
I nod my head into his chest, and his grip on me tightens. When Brendan walks up, I pull away from Andrew with a renewed sense of determination.
“Is it time to ride Benji?” Brendan asks with glee.
“Hell yeah, I’m ready! I call dibs on going first!” Andrew beams.
Brendan is quick to argue, but after a well-fought battle of rock, paper, scissors, Andrew wins.
There’s no line outside, so Andrew hops on right away. Watching him cling to the bull fills me with anticipation. For someone who has never done this before, he sure has a lot of confidence.
Even without experience, he seems to be doing great. I watch him squeeze the bull tightly with his knees, and he remains loose, letting the bull whip him around with his chin tucked to his chest while his center of gravity remains square on the center of Benji.
The bull gets faster and faster, and I begin to wonder if he lied about never doing this before. He’s a natural, and he’s clinging on longer than I’ve seen anyone last tonight. Granted, he is definitely the most sober person to ride Benji this evening, maybe ever.
Benji gives another violent thrust, and it’s enough to break Andrew’s grip. He flies off the bull onto thepadding below.
Brendan and I rush to his side, checking on him. He looks fine, but his face is a mix of joy and sorrow. He’s smiling, but I swear I see a tear forming in his eye.
Brendan helps him to his feet as Andrew asks, “Are you next?”
“I don’t think I can follow that performance, man! I’ve tried before, and I always fall off five seconds in.”
“That’s never stopped you before.”
Brendan tips his head to acknowledge Andrew’s point and heads toward the bull, hopping on.
Still watching Brendan, I whisper, “You looked a little emotional.”
He shrugs. “This is going to sound crazy, but I couldfeelher there. There was a moment when I could hear her cheering me on and saying how much of a badass I was.” He chuckles.
I throw an arm around him. “That doesn’t sound crazy at all.”
As I finish my words, Brendan gets thrown off. He was right. He probably only lasted about five seconds.
“All you, Emma!” Brendan sings. “I’ll warn you though. Benji isnotvery kind.”
I nervously push past him toward the mechanical bull. I can still feel the buzz coursing through my body, giving me an odd sense of confidence, which somehow simultaneously makes me even more nervous.I don’t know the first thing about bull riding! Damn it! I should’ve done some research on my phone beforehand.
I slip one leg over the big bull and slip my hand through the strap I’m supposed to hold onto. The bull begins to move, and I tense up, but it’s not so bad. I have no clue how Brendan got thrown off so early.This is easy.
Then there’s a clicking sound as the bull levels up and begins bucking harder. I fill with panic as I try to remember what Andrew did to stay on so long. I quickly realize I’m not afraid ofriding the bull. I’m afraid of what happens when I can’t stay on anymore.
I squeeze my knees as tight as they can go. I can’t see them, but I’m sure they’re turning white like the knuckles on my right hand as it grasps the strap. I try to tuck my chin, letting Benji throw me whichever way he pleases and praying I can stay on. I do, for a little while, but right as I grow proud of myself for staying on through the last buck, I get thrown off.
Andrew rushes over to me with a bright smile on his face. “You did amazing!”
