She shrugs. “We had so many other things to talk about. It was pretty easy.”
I know exactly what she’s talking about. “What’s the latest update on Sam?” I inquire, eager to live vicariously.
She blushes a little. “He told me he liked me on the last day of school. Can you believe it, Emma? I knew it! He teased me the whole school year.”
“That’s so exciting! Now what?” I’m genuinely curious.
“I don’t know,” she kind of chuckles. “I’m not allowed to date until I’m in high school, which is way far away. Maybe he will start sitting with me at lunch next year.”
“You can’t date until high school? I didn’t expect your parents to be so strict.” What I don’t admit is that I didn’t expect Rebecca to be the type to follow the rules her parents lay out for her.
“When can you date?”
I just shrug. I haven’t had that discussion with my parents, but it’s not like it’s been necessary. “I’ll be single my whole life anyway, so what’s it matter? I’m way too shy around boys. They don’t like me.” I huff and fall onto her bed.
She rolls her eyes and teases, “Where’d you learn to be so dramatic?”
“I learned it from you!”
“Oh, that’s right.” She pretends as if she’s just now remembering. “Don’t worry, Emma, you’ll find someone who’s perfect for you. Maybe it could be Andrew!” She waggles her brows.
I scoff. “Yeah right!”
She joins me in my laughter. “So, what do you want to do first, play Littlest Pet Shop?”
I beam, and she knowingly grabs her tub of animals before I can even respond.
CHAPTER 5
Summer 19
Unable to shake the events at the barbecue last night, I opted to go for a run to clear my head. Despite being awake before the sun, I waited for it to rise before finally going out the door. It wouldn’t be the same going for a sunrise run on the lake without Rebecca.
As I step out the door, I press a few buttons to set my watch. When it gives me the approving beep, indicating the GPS has connected to the satellites to track my mileage, I take off.
It feels weird to run again. Somehow, despite this being such a big part of my life for so many years, nine months off made me forget what it feels like to run. The movement feels foreign and wrong.Is this the way my legs always moved? Am I heel planting or running on the balls of my feet? Are my hips supposed to feel this way?
My music drifts into the background, my conscious mind completely unaware of it as I recount the events of last night. I left the barbecue early after not getting a single chance to talk with Andrew alone again. As I was helping Mrs. Martin set out the display for the s’mores, I noticed a family-size bag of Starburst, and memories from many summers ago flooded back tome. Rebecca was initially disgusted at the thought of roasting Starbursts over the fire, but she came around to them and even asked for them the following year. The memory only made me think about how she wasn’t here, and Andrew was mad at me, and everything was all messed up. Once I was in the quiet safety of my bedroom, I burst into tears, unable to catch my breath.How did things change so much in less than a year?
I approach the end of our road, which diverges into two directions. The left is a shorter road, but the right takes me to the other side of the lake, and I’m not ready to go over there just yet. I make a left and find my thoughts going to Andrew.How did I already screw things up so badly?It seemed like we were in a really good place right before Rebecca’s accident. Then we stopped talking for months, and the first time we talked again, I completely insulted him with things I didn’t even mean. I’msuchan idiot.
An idea pops into my head. I know how I’m going to fix things with us, besides apologizing profusely. I hit one and a half miles and turn around to head home. I’ll need to grab my car and head into town once I get back.
I feel a little more at ease on the way home. The movement no longer feels so foreign. My legs are a little embarrassingly fatigued, and my breathing is a bit heavier than it used to be on a three-mile run, despite doing other forms of exercise throughout my time away from running. Even so, it feels good to be back. I didn’t realize I missed running until now.
I step onto the porch, open the front door, and grab my keys off the ring to the right of the door. Without even stepping into the house all the way, I’m already headed back out.
The nearest bookstore is a thirty-minute drive from here. There are some closer shops near the lake, but they’re more for groceries, necessities, and knick-knacks for the tourists. When I pull into the parking lot, I realize this is one of the few places at the lake that isn’t tarnished by memories with Rebecca. It’srefreshing. She would never be caught dead in this place. Books were one thing I couldn’t really talk with her about. She’d listen if I was excited about a plot because she was a good friend, but she never really cared like Andrew did.Great, now I’m thinking about Rebecca.
I focus my mind instead on the task at hand. I need a book for Andrew. It has to be something he hasn’t read, which normally wouldn’t be too difficult to find, but considering we haven’t spoken in nine months, I don’t know what he’s been reading this year. Knowing his taste, I can at least make some guesses. I head straight toward the middle left of the bookstore, where the fantasy books are. I smile as I remember the first time Andrew brought me in here.Finally, a good memory!That might be the first memory I’ve had since being back that hasn’t made me want to burst into tears.
I begin browsing through the bookshelves, looking for something Andrew would like. It needs to be something adventurous and creative. A newer book might be my best bet because it’ll be less likely he’s already read it. I shuffle some books around, picking one up, reading the back, and placing it back on the shelf.
I move on to the next shelf and immediately know this is the one. It’s a new release written by the same author of the book Andrew got me when we were eleven. The author has moved away from preteen novels over the years, and his new material is really good. This one is loosely based on Greek mythology, which I know Andrew is a total nerd for. Best of all, the main character’s best friend is named M. It’s not quite Em, but it’s close enough. It's perfect.
I bring it to the register, check out, and drive back. When I pull into my driveway, I debate going inside to shower first. I probably smell awful after sitting in my sweat for the past hour and a half, but I want Andrew to know I ran. I want him to seeit for himself.
I head inside the house and dig around in the storage closet for something to wrap the book. Once it is satisfactorily wrapped in delicate blue wrapping paper, I head over to the Martin’s house. It’s only 9:30 in the morning, but I’m almost certain Andrew is up.
