I hesitate before admitting, “I didn’t wear my swimsuit over. I can go home and get it. I just thought we were here for a barbecue.”
“Well yes, you’re here for a barbecue, but what would a barbecue at the lake be without enjoying the lake? This is our family’s way of kicking off the summer!” Rebecca replies light-heartedly. “We can walk back with you to get your suit.”
Rebecca begins marching toward my backyard, and Andrew follows quickly behind. I open our back slider and let myself in. I try to tamp down the embarrassment that rises inside me as I imagine what they must be seeing as they walk into our cabin. There are still boxes and bags lying around, needing to be unpacked. The kitchen is half the size of theirs, and we don’t even have a TV in our living room. I quickly head down the hallway toward my room, but Rebecca pauses and says, “I love your house! It looks so cozy.”
I could take offense to her remark, assuming it’s a backhanded comment, but somehow, I already know she genuinely means it. I push open my bedroom door and begin rifling through my dresser drawer. My wardrobe is simple enough that I was able to unpack my clothes into the dresser this afternoon before we had to leave for the barbecue.
Rebecca hovers overhead, and Andrew lingers in the doorway, taking everything in. His eyes land on my pile of books resting on the bench seat in front of the bay window. “You like to read?”
I nod. “I love to read.”
His smile grows wide. “Me too. It looks like you have good taste! I love fantasy books,” he remarks, gesturing to my book pile.
Rebecca leans down and plucks a yellow ruffled one piece from my drawer. “This one is so cute! Definitely wear this one!”
I take it and go to the bathroom down the hall to change. As soon as I come out, Rebecca squeals in excitement and drags me back out of the house to their dock so we can start our game.
I sit between the twins on the deck to enjoy our dinner. Since our game earlier, I’ve felt quickly accepted by both of them. I’d even go so far as to say I’m excited to be spending my summer here. These two could easily top my two best friends from school.
It’s just after 8 pm as we are sitting down to begin our barbecue feast, but the sun is only just beginning to set. The sky is becoming a reddish-orange that reflects across the water. I could get used to this.
I nudge Andrew and nod toward the bratwursts sitting in front of him. “Can you pass the brats?”
A smirk spreads across his face. “You’ve had a burger, a brat, and you want a second? Dang girl!”
Rebecca interjects, “What’s the matter with that, Andy? The food is good, and she’s hungry!”
Andrew drops his head down a little and mumbles, “I’m just saying… it’s impressive. I like people who can eat as much as me.” He hands me the bratwursts and remains quiet.
I turn to him and smile. “I’ll compete with you any time.”
His look of dismay changes back into a smile, and a playful glint appears in his eyes. He places another burger on his plate, grinning. “Challenge accepted!”
CHAPTER 3
Summer 19
The four of us stand on the Martin’s porch, listening to the doorbell chime. We’ve done this plenty of times before. It feels normal and comforting, and yet, it doesn’t. Everything is different. It may have been nine months since the accident, but this is our first night back at the lake since then. Rebecca isn’t going to welcome me with her usual squeal and embrace. We aren’t going to catch each other up on everything that has happened in our lives for the past nine months.
After all this time, I thought the wound had begun to heal. I thought I was okay, but as I stand on the doorstep where all my summers have begun for the past ten years, I realize I’m not okay. Every feeling that had begun to hide in the shadows while I was away is now coming right to the surface. My throat constricts. My hands begin to shake, and tears threaten my eyes.
Dani reaches out to me and grabs my hand, just as my mom grabs my other hand, and Andrew opens the door. My heart melts at the sight of him. He looks good. He looks okay. Despite losing his best friend, his twin sister, he looks okay. The thought somehow eases some of my emotions. I finally release thebreath I’d been holding and subtly wipe at the corner of my eye before a tear falls.
I always stayed in touch with Rebecca and Andrew over the summer. I had different ways of communicating with each of them. When we were younger, Rebecca would call me regularly, and Andrew and I would send each other hand-written letters with book recommendations. As we grew older, calls with Rebecca turned to Facetimes, and letters to Andrew turned to texts with the occasional Facetime call. This past year, Andrew and I did not stay in touch. I sent him a few texts, but he didn’t respond. I’m not sure why, but I can only imagine the last time we saw each other changed a lot of things. I finally got the message.
Andrew smiles that easy smile of his. “Hey, guys!” He turns and shouts inside the house. “The O’Doughertys are here!”
My mom gives him a tight hug and asks how he’s been doing. I step into the house and squeeze him too, on autopilot. The warm feeling of his muscles wrapped around me feels amazing. It’s like his hug alone can piece me back together and alleviate all of my sorrow. I’ve been waiting nine months for his hug.
We walk silently through the house, all the way to outside. There’s music playing throughout the house and off the back deck. I can’t help but think how normal everything feels, even though it isn’t.
Andrew tilts his head toward the dock, wordlessly telling me to follow him. We walk to the end of the dock, and he sits down, slipping his flip-flops off, and placing his feet into the water.
He doesn’t even turn toward me. He just waits for me to follow suit. After ten years, we know each other well enough to communicate easily without words, even after not speaking for so long.
Once I’m seated next to him with my feetfloating in the shockingly chilly water, he finally speaks. “How has college been?”
I hesitate.Are we just ignoring the elephant in the room?I want to know how he really is. I want to know how his family is. I want to know why he didn’t talk to me for the past nine months after everything we’ve been through. I guess we have a lot to catch up on after not talking for so long.
