“Steve’s … great.He’s solid.Steady.A great dad.Handsome.Kind.”She barely held back a sigh.She should have just said what Mandy did.Dating Steve was nice.And it still was not a resounding endorsement of their relationship.
“But?”Rosalie prompted.
Esther swirled the cocoa in her cup.She wanted to protest that there wasn’t a but.However, the truth of that word sat heavy in her chest.There was a but.
“It’s just different.”She didn’t dare look up at her friend for fear that she would see through that answer.
“How so?”Rosalie pressed gently.
That was easy.And yet so hard to say.
“He’s… not Fred.”
She buried her face in her hands so she wouldn’t have to see the expressions on her friends’ faces.She was supposed to be over Fred.She had said she was.She had been saying it since she was eighteen and still six years later, it was a lie.An absolute, bald-faced lie.And had never been anything but a lie.
“Hello.New girl here,” Tiffany said.“Missing context again.Are we talking about Fred Bennett?”
“How many times do I have to apologize for that?”Mandy asked.“I really didn’t think he was good for your image back in high school.You were on a career path, and he was on a play with engines path.Grease does not look good on cashmere.”She sighed.“I know.I was dumb.”
“Was?”Rosalie teased.“Remember how you talked about Trish when she first arrived?”
Mandy stood.“My face needs to be freed from this mask, and I’m not sure I want to continue this conversation.”
“Sorry,” Rosalie called after her.“But you do remember asking me to keep you accountable to developing kindness, right?”
“Unfortunately, yes,” came the reply over the sound of water running in the sink.
“I’m still confused.But wait one minute before you explain, because I need to blend this smoothie.”A slash mark over a speaker popped up on the screen where Tiffany was.
“Do you think I’ll ever stop comparing guys to him?”Esther asked Rosalie.
She replied with a shrug.“Maybe when you find someone you love more?”
Esther sighed.“Maybe it just takes time.It’s not like I had a crush on Fred from the first time I met him.”Though she kinda had.“And it’s not like we live in a romance novel.”Though she wished she did.Fixing things would be so much easier then.In a romance novel, you’d just need an eraser or a delete button.However… “In real life things take time.”
“Tell that to Lacey and Will,” Mandy grumbled.“Or Trish and Henry or Ava and Eddie.”She shook her head.“Soon there won’t be any single guys left for the rest of us who have been crushing on them forever.”
“Well,” Esther said, “I’m of the opinion that this relationship with Steve should be given more than one date to determine if it’s for the long haul or not.”She needed at least three dates according to what Fred had told her class before it could be counted as an official relationship.“We’re going bowling on Friday.That should be fun.”
Tiffany unmuted herself.“What did I miss?”
“Only that Esther is going on a date with Steve again on Friday to try to convince herself that she can learn to love him,” Rosalie said.
“That is not what I’m doing!I’m doing my due diligence in determining if this is the man God has for me.”She grimaced.“Of course, I suppose, if I want to do that, it means I need to pray about it, huh?”
“You suppose?”Tiffany eyes widened.“Esther…” She shook her head.Out of the four of them she seemed to be the most eager to add things to her prayer list and to talk about things of God.
“I know.I know.It’s what I should have done from the beginning.”But what if she didn’t like what God had to say?
“Uh, yeah.”Tiffany said as she nodded her agreement.“Promise me that you’ll start praying about this tonight.”
“I will.”She blew out a breath.
“Don’t be afraid of His answer,” Tiffany added with a small encouraging smile before letting her eyes flick to the others in the group.“Now, what’s the history between Esther and Fred, and does it mean I shouldn’t flirt with him?”
“She’s loved Fred for years,” Rosalie said, “and the one time he asked her out in high school, Mandy here advised her to say no because some other, better, prospect might come along.And now she’s doomed to compare every guy she meets to him until some guy she can love better comes along.”
“Ah, so no flirting with Fred.Got it.”
