No news was good news, she supposed. But while Erich was safe, the threat of the elves lingered. They wanted her, and even with Heinrich gone, there were bound to be other greedy men or women willing to sell her to them. And now more people knew about her than before; she would constantly be in danger.
They spent the rest of their visit catching up, and before she’d let him go, she made Ludwig promise he’d resume his place as a guard only after he’d healed from his injuries and his stardust addiction.
Aristea came to visit her last, and for many days Liane worried she was upset with her for Heinrich’s death. When she finally came to visit, she was wearing the black widow’s veil. Traditionally worn for a year after the passing of a husband. But Heinrich had been posthumously declared a traitor and was denied burial in the royal crypts. Seeing Aristea wearing it made her blood boil; even after he’d been exposed, she’d dared come here in full mourning for him.
“You’re wearing the veil for a traitor?” Liane snapped, half rising from her seat as Luzie showed Aristea in.
“I don’t have excuses to give you,” Aristea said quietly with her shoulders curled inward, and her head bowed.
“He tried to torture and kill me. He was going to sell me to the elves and probably kill you and Mother to steal the throne.”
“I know.”
“And yet you still love him enough to mourn him?” Liane asked.
“I shouldn’t cry for him.” Her voice broke. “I always knew he was a wicked man, and yet I stayed with him. Even as he cut me into smaller and smaller pieces. I told myself it was to protect the family, even as he hurt me, and made me second guess my every thought. But Liane, when I heard he was dead, I was relieved, and I hated myself for that. I should have been strong enough to walk away before that…”
After five years of marriage, her husband was dead, and Aristea was free. But Liane realized it wasn’t for him she was grieving, but the life that should’ve been, for the sacrifices she’d made to keep peace in the kingdom. Liane’s anger dissipated like the morning mist, and Liane opened her arms to let Aristea in.
“You were strong, and you don’t need to blame yourself. He was the one who was wrong to hurt you. There’s nothing to feel bad about,” Liane said.
Aristea fell into her arms and grasped fistfuls of Liane’s nightgown as she pressed her head against her shoulder. “Liane, I’m sorry. You were there to defend me, and I—”
“I know,” Liane said, rubbing circles into Aristea’s back.
They held onto one another for a long time until Aristea’s crying abated. She sat back, and her sheer black veil revealed her tear-streaked face. And for the first time in a long time, they talked as sisters, slipping back in time when they were girls with nothing else to concern them but petty court gossip and the like. By the time they were done talking, their eyes were puffy from crying, and Liane’s mouth hurt from smiling.
“I don’t know how else to bring this up. But we got a letter from Mathias. He’s heading for the border. I wanted you to know before you heard it from someone else.”
Her heart clenched to hear those words. But she knew he’d made his decision to protect the empire, and she also realized even with Heinrich gone, the dangers remained. She’d been so focused on her own goals she hadn’t stepped back to see the bigger picture. She couldn’t protect Mathias or Elias, for that matter, but what purpose did she have now? Liane curled a hand against her chest; even now, she felt the faint flickering of power deep in her belly. Mother hadn’t stolen her choice; she merely delayed it. Like Mathias and Aristea, she was willing to do anything to protect her family.
“He’s going to be alright,” Aristea said, squeezing Liane’s shoulder, resuming the role of protective older sister once again.
Aristea had already shouldered too much; Liane couldn’t force her to endure it all. And then Liane saw a bit of why her mother had done what she did. Misguided as it was, she tried to protect her. And then Liane was hit with sudden clarity.
The next day, the Vice Premier gave her permission to leave her room. After weeks locked away, and her skin still sensitive to the sun, she could think of only one place she wanted to go: the library. It was there she’d sought escape in her invalid youth.
Her guards trailed her as she slowly walked down the hall, and courtiers she passed moved out of her way, staring at her with wide-eyed stares. They muttered when she turned her back, and she imagined they were speculating on whether she’d glow again. Liane ignored them because they didn’t matter.
When she reached the library, she inhaled the scent of books before perusing the shelves to find a familiar favorite. Book in hand, she curled up into a chair away from the windows and lost herself in fictional adventures. But it wasn’t long before her attention started to drift.
Erich was never far from her thoughts, and while she fantasized about running off into the forest in search of him, she suspected he was long gone. Twice as much time as she’d known him had passed since then, but memories of him refused to fade. Would she be forever trapped by this longing for a man she could never have?
“Something troubles you, child of light?” the Avatheos’ sonorous voice rippled over her, and Liane stood up to bow to him.
Back bent in his own bow, he shuffled toward her, and her skin prickled at his approach, glowing faintly. She realized now that her magic responded to the Avatheos in a way she couldn’t explain. But then again, there was still so much she didn’t know about her magic. She’d wanted to ask him, but it seemed presumptuous to summon the head of the church on her own whim.
“I should be the one bowing to you, not the other way around,” he said, still stooping before her.
Liane stood awkwardly, not sure what to say. “Surely not,” she blurted and cringed at her outburst. A thousand burning questions churned within her, and that was what she started with?
“You’ve been chosen by the goddess to wield her divine blade.”
“How can you be sure I’m chosen, and this wasn’t all a mistake?” Liane asked, still not convinced this wasn’t all a huge cosmic joke.
A small smile curled the Avatheos’ lips. “Your arrival has long been prophesized across generations. I knew you were coming, felt the power in you but couldn’t be certain until the ceremony when the magic was awakened.”
“What am I even supposed to do?”
