“The appointment,” he clarified. “This is a big step, and we’ve been trying for years to have a baby with no success. I want to make sure you are in the right headspace for this and not hoping for something that may not happen.” He relaxed onto the couch and shrugged.
“I’m fine, Grant,” I sighed and shook my head. “I’ve done enough research, and I trust Dr. Holding. She hasn’t promised me anything and has been upfront about everything.”
“I just don’t want you to think that you are going to get a baby after this.” He shrugged.
I pulled my feet from Grant’s lap, readjusted myself, then set my things on the table so I could give him my full attention. “Where is this conversation coming from?” I asked. “Because last week, before you left, you were excited about doing this. What changed?”
“Nothing,” he denied and shook his head. His phone rang, and he dug it out of his pocket and swiped the screen. “I just want to make sure you know what is going to happen. I mean, there are other ways to have a baby. We could adopt.”
“We discussed that, and it was you who said you’d rather try to have a baby before you agreed on adoption.”
“I know.” He nodded. His attention was locked onto his phone, which annoyed me because he’d brought up this fucking conversation and now, he was too busy to have it.
I reached over, took his phone from his hand, and put it on the table. “I need your full attention, Grant,” I sighed, and he looked up at me and smirked. I could never say Grant was an ugly man because he wasn’t. He was tall, with warm brown skin, dark eyes, full lips, and a baby face. In all the years that I’d known him, I’d never seen him with a beard, and it wasn’t because he shaved. He didn’t grow hair on his face besides his eyebrows. “If this wasn’t what you wanted to do, you should’ve said something before my appointment this morning.”
“I want to,” he said, shaking his head. “I am just worried about you. I’m traveling a lot right now, and you’ll be alone.”
“You won’t be traveling forever,” I said. “You said it would be a few months, which I was good with because I’ve been extra busy with work. It took us months to get the first appointment, and now you’re acting like you don’t want to have a baby.”
“I want a baby,” he laughed, shaking his head. “I love kids and can’t wait to see your belly swollen.” He reached for my stomach, and I pushed his hand away. “Damn, it’s like that?”
“You are talking in circles,” I sighed and leaned back. “You know I hate that.”
“I didn’t mean to,” he chuckled and shook his head. “I was just trying to make sure you knew what you were getting yourself into and making sure you’re good.”
“I’m fine,” I said, and he glared at me. “Are you okay with it?”
“Yep,” he answered.
His phone buzzed on the table, and I could tell he was anxious to answer it. I picked it up from the table and handed it to him. “Then I appreciate you checking in, but it wasn’t necessary. I will go to the doctor again in two weeks to start the process. You’ll stop by on your way to the airport to give your sample, and then we will be one step closer to becoming parents.”
“Right,” he mumbled as he typed on his phone. “I’m about to head out now. Do what I have to do and then meet with my brothers before I have to leave again.” He stood, adjusted his clothes, and then kissed me. Grant wasn’t big on affection, so our kiss was quick and nowhere near romantic, which didn’t bother me. “I’ll call you when I land.”
“Okay,” I replied as he left. He was lying. He wouldn’t call, he’d text and tell me he made it, and then we’d play phone tag. I was okay with that because I would be busy over the next few days with work, helping with the last-minute details of Amethyst’s birthday party, and finishing his gift.
After Grant left, I walked into the kitchen to see if there was anything to eat, but came up empty. There was food, but nothing I wanted to cook, so instead, I went back to the living room, picked up my phone from the table, and called Amethyst. The phone rang three times, then went straight to voicemail. Insteadof leaving a message, I hung up and dropped back onto the couch.
Best person in the world: What’s good, Sunshine?
Me: Busy?
Best person in the world: Never when it comes to you.
Me: You want to have dinner?
Best person in the world: As much as I want to say yeah, I can’t tonight.
Me: You just said you weren’t busy lol.
Best person in the world: Fuck it. Let me kill this nigga, and then I’ll be there.
Me: No! Lol Work. I’ll be fine. I’m going to shower, then order something to eat and work until I get tired.
The three dots bounced on the screen before they stopped, and then nothing. It didn’t dawn on me that Amethyst might be at work. His schedule was usually set, but from time to time, he would pick up extra shifts. I put the phone on the table and headed upstairs to shower.
Instead of showering, I took a long bath, and by the time I got out, I wasn’t hungry, but I knew I needed to eat. I ordered a salad from a local hole-in-the-wall and went back to working on Amethyst’s necklace that I wanted to give him for his birthday.Although I designed all his jewelry, this piece was unique. It was special because it was personalized. I stared down at the amethyst stone as well as the yellow diamonds I’d decided to pair with it. It had taken me longer than I expected to cut and size the amethyst to create a custom A necklace, but I was enjoying the process of putting it together.
After my food came, I ate, then curled up on the couch with a blanket and fell asleep.
