“I knew you would,” she said as she leaned against the counter.
“It just doesn’t look like what I thought it would.”
“What do you mean?” she questioned.
“Sunshine doesn’t love me like I love her,” I said as I ran my hand through my hair and grunted.
“Oh, baby boy.” Mama sadly shook her head and sighed. “You have no idea.”
I ran my hand over my face and took a deep breath. Nah, she didn’t love me like I wanted her to, but that was my fault. I licked my lips and stuffed my hands into my pockets.
“I’m good with that, though,” I lied. Mama’s face twisted, and I knew she didn’t believe me. “I am.”
“No, you’re not,” she laughed. “You haven’t been since you saw her dating Grant, and I’m not going to lie, I don’t know how you stood next to her in her wedding or by her side the last few years, and it didn’t break you.”
“It did,” I snorted and lowered my head to look at my feet. “That’s the thing, every fucking day since I’ve been in this shit, it’s broken me.”
“Have you ever thought about moving on?”
My head lifted so fast I was pretty sure I had whiplash and stared at Mama like she was crazy. “Move on?” I repeated, and she nodded. “Ain’t no moving on from her, mama. Yale is it for me. She’s the love of my life, the person I want to experience everything with.”
“Then what are you going to do about it?” she questioned and crossed her arms. “You’ve been saying that shit for so long, I’m starting to think you are okay with being on the side.”
“I’m not,” I denied and shook my head. “That’s why I’m here to talk to Pop. I’m about to make some moves. I’m ready for my wife to stand next to me, fuck that nigga.”
“Good,” Mama said, then approached me. She lifted to her tippy toes, kissed my cheek, and smiled at me. “I’m glad you’ve finally realized that’s where she belonged.”
“I’ve always known.”
“Now act on it,” she replied with a nod.
“You ain’t gonna ask me why I’m just now moving?” I questioned.
“I don’t care,” she said with a shrug. “I’ve just been waiting for the day that you stopped bullshitting. When your daddy told me about your agreement with the Kilmores, I was pissed, not because you did what you had to do to protect Yale, but at the fact that you didn’t trust the people around you to help you get out of that shit. Your daddy, brothers, and the men y’all call friends would go to war without a second thought.”
“I didn’t want to put anyone else’s life in jeopardy.”
“You don’t get to make that decision for them, Amethyst,” she said, shaking her head. “That’s their decision.”
“Yes, ma’am,” I said, even though I didn’t entirely agree. Me doing something stupid to endanger my life was one thing, but dragging anyone else along for the shit I dealt with always made me pause.
“Go on and talk to your daddy,” she said, walking away. “Tell him you’re ready to bring his daughter home, and I bet you he will be the first person by your side.”
“What about you?” I asked as I backpaddled out of the kitchen. I knew how Mama felt about Yale, but I wanted to hear her say it out loud before I went and talked to Pop. “How do you feel?”
“Like I’m tired of waiting on you to be as smart as I know you are,” she laughed.
I stopped walking and tilted my head to the side. “Mama, did you just call me slow?” I asked.
Mama smirked, then shrugged. “I mean, at one point I was sure you were losing the race against intelligence, but that was just my opinion.” She turned and walked out of the kitchen, using the door that led to the living room, and I was stuck standing there, trying not to laugh. Yeah, her ass called me slow and then some, but that was cool because I was about to prove her wrong.
Chapter twelve
Yale
“Hey, you have a minute?” Grant asked, walking into the living room the following afternoon. I looked up from the design I was working on and nodded. He walked over to the couch, lifted my feet, sat down, and then put my feet in his lap. “I just wanted to check in.”
“Check in?” I questioned him, and he nodded in response. “Check in about what?”
