I should’ve stayed in bed but I didn’t. I was too concerned hearing how he sounded. Despite his pissing me off earlier, I couldn’t rest hearing him sound the way he did.
We’re going to check on him so he doesn’t wake up the baby.
That was the lie I told myself so that I could feel less like a creep for going to this man’s room. I left my doorway and headed down the hall, making sure that no noise was coming from Ami’s room. My feet were soundless on the thick carpet that blanketed the hallway and just when I thought I should turn back, I heard him cry out again.
I walked quicker and opened his door, trying to get acclimated to the darkness. The hallway and my room both had lights on because of the baby but inside of Aldrich’s room was pitch black. From memory, I picked my way toward his bed and stumbled on a few items along the way. I wanted to cuss him out for how my toe felt but I was too worried about how he was damn near screeching in the bed.
I followed the sound and could make out him tossing and turning in the bed. I reached over and touched his arm, hoping he wouldn’t swing at me.
“Aldrich?” He kept tossing so I shook him again harder this time. “Aldrich!”
He sat up like he had been awakened from the dead and looked around confused. I felt his hand shove mine off of his before he reached over and cut on the lamp. His face was damp, features tight with confusion and he looked at me like I was his enemy. The light in his eyes was gone and it wasn’t simply because it was night and I’d scared him.
Instantly, I knew this wasn’t going to end well. That something that was about to happen would have me looking for a new job or withdrawing whatever emotions I’d started to feel about this man and this situation.
“Yo, what the fuck you doing in here?” Aldrich yanked back the covers from himself and I took a step back because he was clearly about to stand up.
I felt flustered and pointed to the door, which wasn’t an explanation but I couldn’t think of what else to do in the moment. “I’m sorry I heard—”
Aldrich was on his feet and was walking toward me with a look on his face that scared me. He looked like a trapped animal despite the fact that he was approaching me. “I don’t give a fuck what you heard; you never come in here without my permission. Do you understand? Bitch, are you trying to set me up?”
His eyes darted around to see if I had a bunch of people with me who would rush in and overtake him.
I just stood there with my mouth open because I couldn’t believe he’d said that. Aldrich had never given me any sign that he would be verbally abusive and damn did it sting. I didn’t expect the name-calling from him that I normally got with my family and because I’d trusted him so much it hurt that much more.
“Bitch? Who are you talking to like that? I heard you screaming so I came in to see what was wrong because you were screaming the house down. Forgive for being concerned. Your baby is here.” I hissed out the last part of my words because I was battling with keeping my temper in check and the stab of pain. At the least, I thought Aldrich and I were friends and that was the problem: I’d forgotten my fucking place in this household. His words had firmly reminded me of them.
“I told you not to come in here! You break my trust and you think that I’m supposed to be okay with it? I put my trust in you.” His features were tight, his voice angry.
“You don’t trust anybody! Not even yourself! You’re slipping back into the same habits that had your mind confused. If you keep on you’re going to be a disappointment on the field too andin life. If you can’t keep your head on straight you can forget whatever goals you have for this year. But instead of talking it out like an adult and using your big-boy words and acting like you have some fucking sense you think you’re going to take it out on everyone else. Think the fuck again. I don’t get paid enough to put up with your shit. I take damn good care of your daughter. I ensure her every need is attended to, but you aren’t part of that job description.”
“So what are you in here for?” His eyes were wild and I knew reasoning with him in this state was pointless but I couldn’t help it. Aldrich looked…petrified. Like something was running behind him and he didn’t know which direction would lead him to safety.
“Because I’m fucking human. And I can see when another human is hurting. I can tell that you’re hiding scars behind the smile because I’ve been there before. I’ve done it and I know the signs. And whether you want to sit here and believe what I say, it’s your problem not mine. You can try to ignore it but it’s going to eat at you. Like knives in your guts until you figure out what’s going on or find someone to talk it out with. Scratch that, you’ll take your baby down with you. So, consider the type of parent you want to be. One that would do anything for their kid or let them endure your unresolved bullshit.”
“I’m not some deadbeat—”
“Not financially. But on every other front, you’re fucking failing. You go back and forth with her and with me because you seem terrified about whatever you’re holding in. That’s not my problem. It’s not hers, so don’t take it out on us.”
Aldrich blinked like he finally figured out that he was fucking up but I didn’t give a damn anymore. My feelings were hurt. I’d jumped out of my bed to check on him and this was the thanks I’d gotten. I wasn’t about to embarrass myself by staying here listening to whatever bullshit he was going to say.
His eyes cleared, whatever had him in a chokehold released its grip on him. “Ling, I’m sor—”
I stepped back unwilling to hear an apology. “Save it. It’s like I told you, Mr. Dinero, I keep things separated for a reason. I forgot myself by thinking that we were cool. I should’ve known better. I hope you can get back to sleep.”
I blocked out whatever it was he was saying and turned around. I made a quick left to the hall where my room was located and shut the door. No matter how he was feeling I knew he wouldn’t follow me to my room. He might have said some shit he didn’t mean when he was in a mood, but he wouldn’t cross a line to make me feel physically unsafe. I just wish I’d never gone in his room and let him suffer by himself.
“See what happens when you think you've made a friend, Sterling? They turn out to be just like everybody else.”
I had a restless night but Ami wasn’t about to care. She was a baby with needs and although she’d slept through most of the night, that only meant she was wailing when the sun came up because her little tummy was empty.
I felt like shit and had woken up with a migraine and a visit from Mother Nature. Getting myself settled while I had so much emotional turmoil was something I didn’t think I would ever need to contend with again, but here I was. I’d gotten myself together as quickly as I could and scooped her up before she got too fussy. Once I got her changed and fed we were in the den close to the bedrooms doing tummy time. The layout of our hallway was two bedrooms, two bathrooms and a den at the very end of the hallway. Since he hadn’t told me I couldn’t, I set up a lot of the larger pieces of baby equipment in this roomso that neither Ami’s nor mine was too cluttered. Thankfully, there was a large closet in the back that could store everything if he wanted it out of sight for company coming. I wasn’t sure what type of company wouldn’t know he had a kid, but he was a professional athlete. And with the way he acted so detached last night, like the man I’d originally met when I got here, anything was possible. And since I was just a guest here myself, I was cognizant of the clutter.
“You’re doing so well, big girl! Give me one more!” Despite how little she was tummy time was even more crucial for Ami. I’d gone over her medical records and spoken with the nurses. She’d been in the NICU as a precaution but she had development issues with her lungs. Nothing that was severe, but they were still monitoring it. The newborn appointments that we’d had with her doctors hadn’t alerted us to anything being wrong. I wasn’t a doctor but with my experience I was keeping my eye out for any potential delays. But judging by how well she was battling to lift her little head up, Ami had apparently inherited her athleticism from her father.
“You got a second?”
I was startled only briefly by the sound of his voice and I didn’t bother to turn around. With Ami not being secure, she could roll over on accident or struggle to keep her head up. The little mat beneath her was soft, a hot pink floral creation that wouldn’t hurt her if her head dropped. A baby hitting their head this young could still cause issues so I made sure Ami was good.
