My ringing cellphone startled me out of my painful memory. Like clockwork, it was my mom and my weird emotions suddenly all made sense.
It was the fifteenth of the month. The day my world had changed years ago.
“Hi, Mom.” I wiped the wetness on my cheeks.
“You’ve been crying. I hear it in your voice.”
“It’s like you sense these things all the time. I don’t know how you do it.” Seriously. She always caught me when I was crying.
“Mother’s instinct, sweetie. But I’m not really all that special. I expect you to be sad and emotional today.”
“I saw him earlier.” I sniffled and plucked a tissue out of the box on my desk.
“Do you mean Chris?”
Obviously, I hadn’t seen Josh. Although I wished I had. If I had the power to change the course of that day, I wouldn’t have been a scared fifteen-year-old and I would’ve asked him to go with me to tell Chris what I’d been through. Instead, we’d argued and he’d left like a tornado of emotions because ofme.
And he’d died not fifteen minutes later.
The number fifteen had become gravely significant to me.
I’d been fifteen years old.
It’d been the fifteenth day of the month.
My brother had died fifteen minutes after storming out of my bedroom.
I hated the constant reminders of this day…
“Mhm. He came to the café and I don’t know… It was weird. Like he was testing me or something. Maybe he was saying good-bye and finally letting me go.” Registering the wordsletting me goshredded my heart. I honestly didn’t know if I could live without having him in my life in some capacity.
“That is weird. So, he just came and left? That’s it?”
“Not exactly.” I bit my bottom lip.
How much should I tell her? My mom and I were close, but usually, conversations about Chris happened with my sister Makayla or my best friend, Jazmine.
I hadn’t gotten a chance to call my sister because Mom had called me first. And Jazz was out of the country visiting her parents in Tokyo. With the sixteen-hour time difference, I hadn’t spoken to her very much. Nothing odd about that. She went to Japan every year so not talking for three weeks was par for the course.
“Cass, are you there? Hello? Cassandra?”
“Oh. Sorry. Just lost in my thoughts.” I winced, hearing the annoyance in her voice.
“Is something more going on? You seem different.”
“Different like how?”
“I’m not sure. What did Chris say?” Of course she would ask for the details. She was the kind of mom who loved playing twenty questions.
Normally, I was an open book, but I found myself keeping the specifics close to my heart. “It must be the Russian guy I recently met. He was so weird after Chris left.” I snapped my mouth shut.
Could I be anymore stupid? Alek had been weird after seeing us kiss. But I didn’t want my mom to know about the lip lock with Chris.
“Ooh, I’m intrigued. Tell me more about the Russian. Is he handsome? What’s his accent like? Is he visiting or does he live here?”
“Actually, I really need to get back to work. Lucy is out there alone, and the lunch rush will be starting soon.” Yes! She had already forgotten about Chris.
“No worries. I know you’re busy. This was just my fifteenth-of-the-month call. But I’m happy there might be a new man in your life. It’s time you let go of the past and all the pain and get on with your life.”
