Day 2had added the “breaking news” that MCU’s reason for terminating Debbie’s employment was a 14-year-old divorce. Excerpts from the termination letter filled the screen. (Debbie’s married surname—Covington—had been blotted by Garland out of “privacy concerns.”)
MCU, again, had no comment.
The story had grown legs. By the next morning, people at cafes across the state sipped their coffee and wondered aloud at what that college (seldom a good word in such settings) was hiding. Something smelled fishy and it wasn’t the biscuits and gravy on their plates.
Debbie’s firing had been the topic of a short rant by a local talk radio host.
Day 3had introduced the viewers to “Mom Debbie.” Several soccer players were interviewed, including Idabel (real name Tony), Roger (the “fag”-slinging asshole with whom Matt had tousled), and Caleb (he ofKrakenfame, who had no idea the GM fantasized about his dick). They explained how the season had started out badly with two losses in a row.
Morale had been “in the crapper,” Idabel said, then asked the reporter if that was okay to say on TV. He then rephrased it. Morale was “in the commode.” Was that better?
The story had continued, as related in snippets from Roger and Caleb. Debbie started as an unofficial cheerleader, then morphed into Den Mother. They talked about the parties she had hosted, how morale changed, and the team ended with a winning season.
Cue Debbie and Garland, seated on Debbie’s couch, cats beside them, listening as the reporter had relayed that the players called her “Mom Debbie.”
Debbie had sniffed and worried aloud about crying on TV and looking like Phylis Diller. (She wasn’t acting, had no clue, in fact, of Nicholas’involvement, or of the broader media plan. To her, the story was unfolding organically, hence her modesty at all the attention.)
Garland had then produced the Trespass Notice. Midwest Christian University was threatening to arrest ‘Mom Debbie’ for trespassing if she even attended a soccer game to support the team.
MCU had no comment, perhaps because they were busy chewing that turd sandwich.
The next morning’sDaily Oklahomanhad included a letter to the editor from anfCOC pastor in Weleetka:
“I see those NIMRODS running MCU are as thick-headed as they were when I was a student! Anyone who reads the Bible knows that a divorced man cannot serve as a pastor or an elder in the church. That’s as far as it goes. I’m ashamed, and I think Jesus is too, that my alma mater fired this lady registrar just for being divorced.”
Day 4had played out as a spontaneous outpouring of public support for Debbie’s cause. A local Chevy dealership had contacted Nicholas’s TV station with news that they wanted to give Debbie a new car. A camera crew and reporter had been dispatched to Debbie’s house to capture the moment the dealership’s general manager—wearing a Team Debbie t-shirt—handed her the keys to a Chevy Malibu.
The manager had explained to the reporter that he was just doing his Christian duty, and if anyone else wanted a t-shirt, just come by the dealership and he’d give them one for free. Just walk in the door, ask for a t-shirt, get it, and leave—if you wanted. Or stick around and test drive a new Chevy.
Debbie had squealed in genuine surprise at sight of the Malibu. She had been completely unaware of the Gay Team’s behind-the-scenes machinations. She had hugged the manager. Cried. Hugged him again. It had made for great television AND got the dealership more goodwill than any paid commercial would have done. Plus, they later reported they had given away almost 1,000 t-shirts.
The whole thing—from the car to the t-shirts had been anything but spontaneous and anything but free. Bradley, Nicholas’s partner, who carried his own guilt for the breakup of Debbie’s marriage, had negotiated with the dealership that he would pay half the car’s purchase price and supply the t-shirts, and the dealership could take all the credit.
Nicholas had ensured that the story aired.
Day 5had cranked up the heat on MCU. Garland had called a press conference to announce his “shocking findings.” Background checks into the 11 members of MCU’s Board of Trustees revealed that one of them had a long-ago divorce of his own.
A reporter from Nicholas’ station had asked the obvious question. “Why is it acceptable that a trustee could be divorced, but a registrar gets fired for it?”
MCU had responded to the furor with their usual tone-deafness. They had shoved some poor dope in front of a camera to announce that the divorced trustee had just resigned his position due to unrelated concerns. As if that fixed anything.
Team Debbie t-shirts had been spotted across the metropolitan Oklahoma City area. One bank had changed its programmable message board, adding “Team Debbie” to the time and temperature.
Two more letters to the editor had appeared in theDaily Oklahoman.
Day 6had been the turning point Nicholas had hoped for. Until then the story had been local, which might still have been enough to cause MCU to capitulate. But when Don Imus interviewed Debbie and Garland on hisImus in the Morningsyndicated radio show, well, as Garland later put it, they were “shitting in tall cotton now.” Imus’ listening audience was in the millions.
It was only a hop, skip, and a jump from there to theTodayshow with Katie Couric and Bryant Gumbel.
ByDay 8MCU had caved. Garland negotiated Debbie’s rehire, back pay retroactive to December 13th, and $10,000.
Debbie donated $5,000 to a cat rescue organization and $5,000 to a women’s shelter.
Garland did not charge for his services. As he had explained to the Gay Team when they had met for the first time, he hoped the publicity would bring him new clients.
MCU had released a press statement that Debbie’s firing had been a clerical error. No comment was made to the question of why it had taken 7 days and Katie Couric before that error had been corrected.
Vince turned to Matt. “If I did commit to this scheme of yours, when would it happen?”
