Fuck me. Why was I asking this prick?
“Put your woman on the phone, man. I need sensitivity here.”
“From her? Ow, woman, I swear to god, you’re in trouble now.”
Jesus. “Forget it.”
I hung up the phone and set it down by the bed, edging around the other side of it. I was literally afraid to wake her, but I couldn’t leave her suffering through it, if I had the power to stop her. That’s the thing I knew this whole time, but was too cowardly to act upon, because I didn’t want to see that fear reflected back at me, if I was the monster hurting her right now.
I crouched down, and gently rested a hand against her shoulder, and at first she didn’t react, so I squeezed a little, stroking her arm as I whispered her name, and that’s when she awoke.
Caroline
THE SECOND MY EYES opened, and I looked into Harley’s worried face, I practically threw myself into his arms. It was the first time there was someone there to hold me after the nightmare, and I didn’t realise how much difference it made, until he was holding me tight.
“Fuck, I’m sorry, babe. I’m so sorry.”
I had no idea why he was apologising to me. It wasn’t his fault I had a nightmare. It wasn’t his fault I had the same nightmare I’d been having since I was a little girl. It varied, but the underlying theme was always the same. A dark creature dragging me away from my parents, while the little girl version of me screamed and begged him to let me go.
Sometimes he dragged me into the darkness and left me there. Other times I was trapped in that darkness with something hunting me, and on the worst nights, that thing hunting me caught me in clawed fingers, and tore my skin off my body.
It was horrific.
“Jesus, babe, don’t cry. Fuck I’m sorry. I screwed up.”
I tried to pull away to speak to Harley, but he tightened his grip.
“I won’t fail you again, I promise.”
“Harley, stop. Why do you think you failed me? You’re here for me. I’ve never had that!”
He loosened his grip just enough to let me look him in the eye.
“I…” he looked agonised by whatever he was trying not to say.
“Harley? My nightmares are not your fault.”
He squeezed his eyes closed and took a deep breath. “Yeah, but leaving you suffering was all my fault. I should have woken you sooner.”
He was making no sense.
“You couldn’t help being asleep, dammit. You woke me when you awoke, and I’m grateful. It was so horrible. It was the worst version.”
His jaw clenched and he looked away from me. “So I left you suffering the worst nightmare? That’s fucking great. I… I’m such a dick, I should have just manned up and risked it.”
“Risked what? You’re not making any sense!”
He lowered his arms completely, leaving me feeling bereft without his warmth, and comfort.
“Harley?”
He stood up, backing up a few steps.
“I’m such a prick. I don’t deserve to be here with you right now. I’m sorry. I didn’t wake you when I woke up. I… I watched you, and-”
“You watched me suffer? Why?” Was he some kind of freak? Was that something he relished? Was it a bizarre kink? Had I misjudged the kind of man he was?
“Harley?”
