“I… Jesus, I don’t know. Being naked felt wrong, and I just kept adding clothes, and now I feel like a twat, being fully clothed, while you’re… I don’t know. Did you want me to stay, or go?”
Caroline switched off the bathroom light and closed the door, crossing the room to me. She hesitated before she touched me, and that was it.Right there. Something was weird. Off. Something was wrong.
“Why does it feel like we’re strangers now, when we just did something that should have brought us closer?”
Her face fell. “It does feel… is it because I’m so weird that it was all drawn out, and clinical? I can’t… I need…”
“It wasn’t clinical. Far from it.” I glanced at the bed, and made my mind up, because this could go on all fucking night, and it wasn’t doing us any good.
“Get in bed, babe. I’ll strip back down to my boxers and join you, but only if you feel comfy with that. The alternatives are many. You just tell me what feels right for you.”
She smiled, touching her fingers to her lips as she stared up at me with eyes practically glowing with affection. I’m calling it that, because I had no fucking idea what was really going on with us. Maybe sleep would help.
“You always say the right thing. I swear, I can’t imagine there’s a better man out there than you, Harley.” I was pretty sure the exact opposite was true, but I wasn’t about to burst any bubbles for her right now.
“Move it, little lady. Bed.”
She giggled and practically skipped around the other side of the bed, shedding the robe, and climbing under the many layers of covers. I stripped back down to my boxers and climbed in beside her, throwing caution to the wind and pulling her close, so her face was resting on my chest. Sure, she hesitated, and I waited her out, because force wasn’t necessary for anything in life, let alone in love, but she finally relaxed and sighed with what I hoped was something good.
“I never imagined I’d be in bed with the man of my dreams, after he rocked my world,” she murmured sleepily.
I grinned. “As long as I never feature in your nightmares, huh?” It was a joke at the time, but in the middle of the night, I was woken by whimpering, and realised she’d curled away from me in a ball, and she was clearly having a bad dream.
We’d left the hall light on by accident, and the door was letting in enough of a glow that I could see her when I sat up. She was shaking her head, and the word ‘no’ gasped out of her. No? No to what? What was she dreaming about?
My hand almost reached her shoulder, and then I froze. What if I really was the star of her nightmare? What if right now she was reliving our night together, only she wasn’t getting the good version? What if I was terrorising her right now? What if I was hurting her?
Fuck. What should I do? I was frozen in place, watching the woman I really cared for struggling with a bad dream, or a full blown nightmare, and I was too afraid to wake her. What if she went from a horror version of me in her dream, to seeing the real me hovering over her, and screamed the place down? Whatif seeing me sent her into a panic, and made her afraid of me forever?
I slipped out of the bed, and backed away, feeling pathetic and helpless, and like a monster for not trying to rescue her from the nightmare. Waking her would be the kindest thing to do, but if I’m the bad guy in her nightmare, is it a kindness at all, or further cruelty?
I grabbed my hair, my breathing speeding up, as I felt my own panic rising. I should be helping her. Saving her! What if by trying to save her, I make it worse? What if our sex, our intimacy, affected her badly, in ways she never admitted to? What if… I needed someone else to wake her. That was it. But who the hell could I call? And was I really going to leave her in a nightmare, in hell, while I waited for someone? I ran and grabbed my phone from the nightstand, flicking through it for someone to ask, for someone to advise me, and fuck that finger slippage, because I was just ringing some poor bastard in the middle of the night, and ending the call now would just piss him off more.
“This better be important, VP.”
“Jesus, sorry, Grease,” I murmured, trying to keep quiet enough to not wake Caroline, all the while thinking that’s exactly what I should fucking be doing.
“If you butt-dialed me, I’m going to kick said butt all the way around town.”
Strangely his voice was giving me a little more clarity, but I still didn’t know what to do, for it to be the right approach for Caroline.
“I was looking for some advice, but didn’t mean to call you.”
“So you wake me up and then insult me? Nice.Oi, little pain, stop kicking me or I’ll bite your ass.”
I rolled my eyes, moving around the bed, as Caroline let out a soft wail.
“Are you guys fucking, because that’s not cool to wake me up to hear that.”
I sighed heavily. “No. She’s… she’s having a nightmare, and I-”
“So wake her up, man. Why are you bothering me with this?”
I backed up and practically growled into the phone.
“Because we fucked earlier, and I’m afraid she’s having a bad dream about me, fuckhead! What if I wake her up and terrify her, because I’m doing something fucking awful to her in her dream?”
“Geez… what exactlydidyou do to her?”
