My body felt heavier than before, barely being able to sit up by itself.
You’re dehydrated, and you need to eat.I remember my mother telling me after Esme’s sudden death. It was clear that it was a reminder. I had to eat and take care of myself no matter how hard it seemed. Otherwise I would die too. And if that happened, my mother would not only have lost both her daughters, but she would never know where I was. She would live in constant questioning, thinking I left her and never came back.
I deeply believe that I only survived my sister’s death thanks to my mother. She put her own feelings away and went into a mode of keeping her other daughter alive.
She took care of me, fed me, made sure I drank and got enough sunlight and vitamins. But this time I’m all alone and so, so far from home. Further from home than I have ever been.
How will I survive this a second time? It has only been eleven months since the last time. I don’t know how to do it again.
Staring at the glass clear river, knees close to my body, I get lost in my thoughts once again, but abruptly get snapped back to reality as something in the water catches my attention. And this time, I’m sure that it was a head, and not a head belonging to an animal.
With eyes trying to focus on finding a sudden motion, nothing more appears in the water, until a seashell flows up right beside my feet.
Confusion appears in the air as I try to understand where it came from. I must be imagining things. But it didn't take long before my thoughts shifted to Ector.
Right as I’m about to start crying, the baby deer moves and bumps into me, almost falling due to the lack of balance.
“Ooo, be careful.” I smile at it, wiping my own tears with the back of my hand.
“We can do this, right?” I say to convince her. Or was I desperately trying to convince myself?
“I would name you in an instant if it wasn’t for Ector’s words. I have to be careful now that I’m all on my own.” I say, petting its small head.
My legs started moving, and before I knew it, that small hope and moment of strength was back in my soul. But how long would it last?
Chapter 28
Genevieve
After walking for hours, not being able to fly with no strength in me, I almost collapsed. Not having a choice, I cup my hands and drink from the river, not knowing if the water is fresh.
I haven’t passed a new city yet and there’s no food in sight. My stomach is growling, begging me to find something to eat.
“I’m sorry.” I say, my hand rubbing my belly.
In such desperation, I remember that Ector had golden coins in his other pocket. Coins that I did not even think to bring with me.
Walking closer to the forest, I hope to find something to eat, but to no surprise, I don’t find anything.
“At least you should eat something.” I tell the baby that's still walking by my side, grabbing some leaves from a tree and giving them to her.
“I can’t wait to name you.” I say, looking at her adorable eyes. “But I’ll have to wait, just a little bit more.” The words came out in hope that Ector would be proud of me.
When I find myself in a state like this, barely being able to care for myself, I often find myself relying on hope and making others proud. Because in such a state, it can feel impossible to make yourself proud. Therefore, the thought of Ector beingproud is what keeps me going. The thought of him hopefully knowing, seeing me from above, and for me to say “I did it.” is what keeps the small flame burning.
The look that would be painted on his face would be pure joy. And then, I could feel proud of myself for not giving up.
Ineedto do this. Ineedto be strong. I don’t have a choice. I’ve already come this far and I can’t go back when I’m so close.
And just as even more strength gathers within me, blackberries appear in sight, almost as if someone had heard my thoughts and blessed me.
Running forward, I’m plucking them in an instant, only being careful not to prick myself on a thorn.
With my hands full, another ladybug lands on me, showing itself for only a few seconds before continuing its journey to another place, far, far away from here.
I sit down by a tree, the baby deer lying down beside me and I bring forth the book that Ector wanted me to read.
“Should we start this tale to escape our own?” I ask her, and she places her head on my leg. “I take that as a yes.” I smile.
