I instinctively bristled at his question. “I’m not sure that’s any of your business.”
He held his hands up in defence. “Whoa, just asking since you seem the protective type, a realhero. Now, it’s just my opinion, but a man like you needs someone to take care of, a way to scratch that itch.” He leered lasciviously. “So… have you got someone waiting for you at home?”
I didn’t like the way he watched me, analyzing anything about me or mine. Something about this guy just didn’t sit right with me, but there was no reason not to let him in, so I finally handed his ID back and opened the door for him. “You have a good night, sir.”
“You too,hero,” he said, winking as he grabbed a glowstick from the basket on the way by.
For the rest of the night, my attention wavered, half on the line in front of me, half on the exit, waiting for him to leave. I kept expecting to get a call on the radio from security inside, letting me know of a disturbance, but the night remained suspiciously quiet. There was this constant frisson of electric energy coursing through me, constantly on alert, and by the end of the night, I was feeling it. Every muscle ached from how I’d been tensed up.
The guy left at some point, but he must’ve slipped out in the ruckus at the end of the night, because I never caught sight of him again. After last call, the lights were turned up, and the rowdy holiday crowd spilled out onto the sidewalk. I got busy diverting drunk patrons into cabs instead of the cars they considered driving home. There was hooting and hollering, and one woman gave me an unwelcome kiss on the cheek, smearing her lipstick on me. I felt sorry for the 24-hour restaurant down the block where I knew half these people would be headed to grab some breakfast to soak up the booze.
I, however, was more than ready to head home. The tension I’d felt all night lingered, long after the bar closed down and I escorted my coworkers to their cars parked across the lot. I swore I felt eyes on me as I climbed into my SUV, but when I turned to look, there was no one there.
The whole way home, I kept an eye on the rearview mirror, watching for anything suspicious, or someone following me. I was filled with this cold, creeping dread, but as I left the city limits and the highway grew dark, I shook my head, laughing atmyself. “Don’t be ridiculous. He was just some random guy, not a serial killer.” So I turned on some music and tried to convince myself to relax.
The house was dark when I got home, and I sat in the car a little longer than usual, watching the end of the driveway. But there was only so long I could justify sitting in the car, growing colder by the second. Finally, I climbed out, and when I heard nothing but the wind through the trees, I went inside.
The house still smelled like popcorn, but I was less concerned about having missed move night now, my focus elsewhere. I locked the deadbolt behind me and checked the back door too. Upstairs, I peeked into Mia’s room, then Sam’s, and found them both fast asleep. No matter what I did, the unsettled feeling remained. I thought of what that guy had said, that I needed someone to protect in order to fulfill some instinct I had. Maybe that was true. Maybe it was just his nosy questions that made me a little too aware of how everything important to me was so fragile. How easily it could all be lost.
When I snuck into the master bedroom, the bedside lamp was still on, but my men were both asleep, August’s head on Lazlo’s chest, arm draped over his stomach. I watched them sleep for a moment, aching and dreading and yearning all at the same time. How quickly they had become my everything. I undressed as quietly as I could, and when I lifted the sheet to crawl in beside August, the light glinted off the silver butt plug he’d shoved in his ass.
Well, I had told them to be ready for me. Smirking at my mischievous omega, I reached down and gave it a gentle tug, making him moan in his sleep. “If you take that out, you’d better be prepared to replace it with something else,” he mumbled.
Lazlo’s eyes cracked open, the sheet slowly tenting over his stiffening cock. “I’m wearing one too, you know. Would you like to see?” The answer would always be yes.
They certainly were the distraction I needed from my troubles tonight.
As distracted as I was, though, I barely registered the sound of a car driving slowly past the house…
21
August
Theroadswerequiet,even for a Wednesday morning, and I was glad to be driving the SUV, since it handled really well in the snow. It was the only downside I could think of for living outside the city limits. I loved everything about the area, the quiet and solitude, being closer to nature, but having to take the highway to get anywhere made me wary. So I guess it was a good thing I never went anywhere.
I peeked at Mia in the rearview mirror. She was facing backward, but we had a mirror set up so she could see us up front. “You’re going to have so much fun,” I told her, but it felt like I was more reassuring myself. “There will be other babies there, and lots of toys and music and… and… I don’t even know what else, but I’m sure it will be very exciting and not at all overwhelming after spending the last six months—which is basically yourentire life—at home.”
Mia blinked back at me in the reflection, the same blue eyes I saw in my own face every time I looked in the mirror. Her wispyhair had started to get longer, but instead of being dark like Victor’s, it had a hint of red, like my mom’s. It suddenly made me miss her something fierce.
While I’d been debating about applying for that job at the grocery store, it was pretty clear I wasn’t ready for that yet. Especially since it felt weird just being out and about, doing something social. One step at a time, I told myself. It had been so long since I had any friends, and I guess technically I still didn’t, but Nathan and Wesleycouldbe friends. One day. Maybe. If I wasn’t too awkward or annoying.
They were the husbands of Jer’s friend Bron. I’d thought our throuple was out of the ordinary, so it’d been nice to meet someone else in the same kind of relationship, to see how the dynamics worked for them. They’d all come over for an extremelyloudChristmas dinner, the three men with all their kids. I still wasn’t entirely sure how many kids they had. Every time I turned around, there was another one. There was at least one set of twins—though maybe they were triplets?
All through dinner, the adults had barely had a chance to say a word to each other, but then just after dessert, Sammy had announced, “Who wants to see the chickens?” and a dozen little hands stuck up. “Alright, come on then,” he’d said. And just like that, he’d picked up Mia and led them all off to the barn. He’d been like the pied piper, with all the littles in a line behind him. He really was the best big brother. He deserved more siblings.
The adults had all been struck absolutely speechless in the silence left behind, but then Nathan had sighed. “So… anyone seen any good movies lately?” Which made us laugh, because the only movies any of us got to watch were animated.
While the adult time had been brief, it had been also given me the first taste at a possible friendship. I’d thought it was going to be awkward for me, desperately scrambling to make stilted small talk, but it hadn’t been like that at all. The conversationhad flowed easily, and though a lot of it had revolved around our kids, it hadn’t been boring at all. Our children were a big part of our lives, and we were all on the same page.
At the end of the evening, Wesley had pulled me into a hug as they loaded the kids into their extended van. I’d frozen for a second, before allowing myself to soften into it. It was… nice. “What are you doing on Wednesday morning?” he’d asked.
“Oh, um… I’m not really…”
Nathan had dragged me into an enthusiastic squeeze next. “Yes! You should absolutely come to our baby-and-me group. It’s at a community center, where they essentially just set out a bunch of toys and let the kids run wild, while the moms and dads have coffee. It’s great for the kids, but honestly, I think it’s more for us than for them.”
I’d had a ready-made excuse on my tongue, but when I’d glanced over at Jer, he’d nodded in encouragement. I could almost hear the words in my head. “Go on, my brave sweetheart. You can do it.” And when I opened my mouth, the words that came out instead were, “Yeah, okay. That sounds like fun.”
And so here I was, following the directions Nathan had texted me to the small community center. It was nothing much, just a concrete building split in half, a daycare on one side and a gymnasium on the other. There was no question I was in the right place. As soon as I opened the door, a violent cacophony of noise spilled out and smacked me in the face. My feet stalled on the threshold, taking in the absolute chaos in front of me.
