There was probably some kind of organization here, but it was nothing my untrained eye could interpret. Toddlers rode around on wheeled riding toys or slid down the short plastic slide. I saw several block towers being built, though more being knocked down, and some sort of puppet show being put on by the older kids. There were squeaks and rattles and high-pitchedgiggles as children of all preschool ages played, either together or independently.
In short, it was a madhouse—and I immediately loved it.
From the corner of my eye, I caught sight of someone waving, and when I turned to look, I found Wesley trying to catch my attention. He and Nathan were wearing matching grins, and they were so genuine that it melted what remained of my nerves. Smiling back, I hefted the bucket car seat a little higher and staggered over to where the men were sitting on a wooden bench. My bony butt would’ve preferred some padding, but this wasn’t exactly a café, and I couldn’t afford to be picky when it came to getting out of the house and hanging out with other parents.
“Hey! I’m so glad you made it.” Wesley got up and gave me a hug, and I swore I felt a bit of a pregnant belly being pressed between us. When he saw where my eyes had drifted, he winked. “Yes, I’m pregnant—again. This one was a bit of an oopsie, but I’ll never complain about another baby to love, especially after how hard it was to conceive the first time.”
“Congratulations,” I told him, tamping down the teensiest bit of jealousy that reared its head. Okay, so it was more than a little, but I was still trying to come to grips with the emotion. I’d never wanted to get pregnant the first time, but now that I was in a more stable relationship, I couldn’t stop my brain from going there. What would it be like to have their child? No fear, no doubt—nothing but love and adoration and the certainty of a beautiful future.
Nathan looked up at me from his spot on the bench. “Sorry, I would get up to give you a hug, but my hands are a little full.” There were indeed, with their youngest, Marguerite, who looked half asleep, thumb stuck in her mouth as she watched the other kids playing. “She’s teething,” he explained.
I crouched down to unbuckle Mia from her car seat. She was craning her head around to see everything going on, curious and maybe even a little eager. She didn’t seem at all bothered by the noise. “How do you guys do it?” I asked, marveling at their unflappable calm in the midst of this… tornado.
“Do what?” Nathan asked, pouring me a coffee from the urn set up for parents. I saw there were also juice boxes and plates of various snacks, like a potluck buffet that everyone had contributed to—animal crackers, diced fruit, and cheese cubes mostly, but there were also some more adult munchies too.
“I dunno. All… this,” I said, gesturing to the room in general but parenting more specifically. “I don’t know what I would’ve done if Jer and Laz hadn’t stepped in to help me. I’m a total mess on my own.” We’d told them a cover story about me being a single parent who’d come to Lazlo’s practice looking for help with Mia. I didn’t like lying to them, but they seemed to get the hint that it wasn’t something to pry at.
“And you think we’re not messy?” Nathan smirked. “You should see our kitchen.”
Wesley nudged him with his elbow, laughing. “Thankfully, you’ll never have to find out how to parent without them. That’s the beauty of unconditional love.”
“Right,” I drawled, my mind snagging on that word.Unconditional. Was that what it was? I thought of how they’d never once expected anything from me. Not to do chores around the house or contribute an income. Hell, I’d had to beg them to fuck me the first time, that was how little they demanded of me. But they’d accepted me all the same. They’d shown me love and kindness and given me a soft place to land when my life was falling apart.
Maybe they would’ve done the same thing for any down-on-his-luck single parent who’d left their baby on their doorstep. Except… it hadn’t been anybody else. It was me. I was theone who’d stumbled blindly into this idyllic life, and knowing exactly how all three of us had come together, I had a hard time believing it was anything other than fate.
“Jamie, that is not your nose,” Wesley said loudly, standing. I wasn’t sure how he’d seen anything going on across the room. Maybe my own parenting skills just hadn’t evolved yet.
He sighed when he sat back down. “Words I never would’ve expected to say, but it’s the third time I’ve said them this week alone—and it’s only Wednesday. You can pick your friends, you can pick your nose, but you can’t pick your friend’s nose.”
My laugh exploded out of me as a startled snort, which had the other two joining in. And when I looked down at Mia sitting in my lap, she laughed right along with us.
Over the next hour, I got my fill of quality adult time, which was strange considering I was surrounded by children. It was easier than I remembered it being, making friends. Deep down, I hadn’t really believed Victor when he’d said my friends were using me or shit-talking about me behind my back, but it was hard to believe the man you thought you loved would lie to you. At the time, I’d chosen to believe he was protecting me, but looking back, it had never been for my sake. None of it had been. It had always been about control.
It was pretty obvious when playtime was over. The children had been getting increasingly irritable in their exhaustion, and everyone was ready to go home for naps when the coordinator said it was time to clean up. All the parents helped put the toys away in the closet, getting the gym ready for whatever activity came next for the community center. Mia seemed to have had a great time, even if it was mostly sitting on a rubber mat and slapping at nearby toys.
“We should do this again sometime,” Wesley suggested, and it didn’t even look like he was just saying that to be polite.
“Like next week,” Nathan added eagerly.
I found myself smiling, already nodding. “That sounds perfect.”
Nathan and Wesley were ready to go before I was, since it took forever for me to get Mia all bundled up again and buckled into her car seat. “You don’t have to wait for me,” I said, waving them off. “Overtired kids come first.”
“Thanks,” Wesley said in relief. They were juggling three of their kids today, the ones too young to be in school, and their hands were full. “I’ll text you about next week.”
“Sounds great. Bye!” Finally, we were all packed, and Mia’s eyes were already getting droopy. Hiking the diaper bag over my shoulder, I made my way to the parking lot. The snow had begun to come down in earnest, so I closed the flap on the car seat cover and hustled to where I’d parked my car. It was one of the last in the lot, and I had to shuffle my feet so I didn’t slip on the ice.
Squinting against the blowing snow, I fumbled to get my keys out of my pocket, the needle-like flakes stinging my cheeks. I unlocked the doors and got Mia snapped into the car seat base. When I stepped back and closed the door, though, my left foot skidded out from under me. I flailed, arms windmilling, and at the last second, caught myself on the door handle.
I chuckled, hand over my racing heart, as I thanked my lucky stars for avoiding a hard landing. The way I’d twisted, though, had me facing the opposite direction, across the parking lot. Through the snow, I caught sight of a figure, dressed in dark clothing. He was just standing there, probably 20 yards away, and even though it was hard to make out any features, my entire body locked up.
I didn’t need to see his face, my body justknew. Every bruise, every broken bone, the memories were as fresh as the day they happened. Bile crawled up the back of my throat, adrenaline flooding my veins as my body prepared for a fight.I was scrambling for my pepper spray keychain even before I’d decided to do it, before I’d had a chance to think it through.
Cannister clutched in my palm, I paused, teeth gritted. No. It wasn’t him. Victor wouldn’t be here—couldn’tbe. It was just because I’d been thinking about him, like a wound reopening right after it’d scabbed over. But we’d been careful, and so much time had passed. He’d forgotten about me, because I wasn’t worth remembering. He’d moved on.
And sure enough, the figure didn’t approach me. Instead, they turned and entered the community center, probably a parent picking up their child from daycare or maybe a custodian, about to shovel the snow.
I forced myself to take a shaky breath. I was okay, my daughter was safe. I climbed into the SUV feeling weaker than I had in months. I thought I was over this. I gripped the steering wheel in my fists, the leather creaking. The whole episode left me feeling… angry. Not just angry butfurious,the searing heat of it blistering my insides. How dare that fucker take up any more space in my life. For too long, I’d been his doormat, his godsdamned punching bag. But no longer!
