Huffing a bitter laugh, I shook my head. I was trying to keep my voice steady as I set the scene for them, even as the emotions tried to drag me down beneath the surface. I told myself that it was all in the past now, and while nothing could change what happened, he couldn’t hurt me anymore. “I don’t think it was a coincidence that he was there that night. I think he was watching me.”
“He was stalking you?” Jerry growled, his voice low and dangerous. He was leaning forward, elbows on his knees, hands clasped tightly into fists.
“Not that he ever admitted it, but he kept showing up wherever I was. ‘What a coincidence,’ he’d say. ‘It must be fate.’ I… started to believe him. He was always so charming, romantic. Persistent. He bought me flowers and little gifts, and I never said no.” I closed my eyes, hating how naïve I’d been.
“The relationship started off normal enough, I guess. We dated, and after a few months, he asked me to move in with him.Maybe it was a little fast, but it made sense since I was sleeping there every night anyway. Besides, heloved me, right? So why wouldn’t I? When my mom showed concern about how much time I was spending with an older man, I got defensive. When a friend suggested Victor’s obsessive behavior was a red flag, I stopped hanging out with them. They were just jealous of what I had, I thought. And the first time Victor hurt me, I believed him when he said it was an accident and that it would never happen again.” I pressed my thumb into the palm of my left hand, the memory of the broken bone distant now, like a nightmare buried in the fog of sleep. “It was such a slow slide, kinda like how you stick a lobster in a pot of cold water, and they don’t even realize they’re slowly being cooked. By the time I realized just how bad it was, I was in too deep to get out. My friends were long-gone, my mom didn’t answer my phone calls anymore. I was entirely alone. Trapped.”
I took a deep breath, drawing Jerry and Lazlo’s presence into my lungs. I wasn’t alone anymore, I knew this, but that didn’t make the trauma go away.
My throat was getting tighter with each passing minute as I forced the words out, but I had to keep going. I was almost at the end. “I tried to insist we use condoms, but he said… he said he didn’t like them. When he knocked me up, he was so damn smug, satisfied. He wanted to trap me, said, ‘Now you can never leave,’ but…” I gave a snotty laugh. “Joke’s on him. In the end, it was because of Mia that I finally found the courage to be free. There was no way I was going to subject her to that life. She deserves better.”
Lazlo sidled closer until his shoulder touched mine, and I leaned into him, seeking out the strength I needed to get through this conversation. “I don’t know if Victor had started out with a plan in mind, if this monster was always just lying in waitbeneath his skin, or maybe it was me… maybe I brought it out in him…”
Lazlo’s hand on mine made my eyes snap open. I hadn’t even noticed that I’d closed them. “None of this is your fault. The blame lies solely on him.”
“I know,” I whispered, but that was only half true. Why target me unless I’d done something to attract his attention? Maybe if I’d worn a baggier sweater or hadn’t smiled at him that first day when he got into line behind me. If I’d said no the first time. Maybe if I’d been smarter or stronger or—
“I will fucking kill him,” Jerry snapped under his breath. He stood off the bed and paced back and forth across the narrow room, his tattoos roiling as his muscles flexed. The way his gaze kept flicking back to Mia, I suspected she was the only reason he wasn’t shouting right now.
Lazlo was a little calmer, his anger contained to where he’d fisted the sheets. “We can’t just let him get away with this. We should go to the police, tell them everything you just said.”
I shook my head sharply, my insides hollowed out, scraped raw. “I can’t.”
“Why not? We’ll go with you. If they need evidence, I’m sure an X-ray would show quite the story.”
And here was the whole problem… “Because Victor is a cop.”
16
Lazlo
August’sstoryabouthisex made me see red. That someone laid his hands on him, made him live in fear, made him feel anything but perfect, gaslighting him until he didn’t know what was real anymore… it was inexcusable. But a cop? On top of everything, that was a huge breach of trust for the position appointed to him. It was no wonder August ran like he did.
The cracking of Jerry’s knuckles was loud in the suffocating silence. I wanted to reach for him, to help ease the tension coiled in his body, to settle him, to settle myself, but it was August who needed the comfort right now. I itched to hold him in my arms, to pull him close and show him how precious he was, but after everything he’d been through, I wasn’t sure he’d even want to be touched. And if he flinched away from me, I would never forgive myself.
He seemed to sag after telling his story, as if his trauma had been holding him up all this time, and now that he’d released it, there was nothing left to keep him upright. He needed sleep, Iknew that, but the thought of leaving him without an immediate solution gnawed at me.
“That’s why you came here with nothing, no money, no possessions,” I said.
He blew out a weary sigh, and I regretted making him explain. “If he’d seen me packing, he would’ve known, would’ve stopped me. I have my wallet, but I thought he might be able to track me if I accessed my bank account. I ditched anything that could lead him back to me. I’m not stupid, I know that not all cops are like him. I thought about reporting him, but just the possibility that I approached the wrong one was enough to stop me. And it would be my word against his! Who would believe me?”
“What about your mother?” I asked, wracking my brain for an answer to his problem.
He didn’t answer right away, staring down at where he was picking at one of his fingernails. “I don’t know. I tried calling her after I left, but the number was disconnected. At first I thought maybe she just blocked me, but then I started to worry if maybe Victor did something to her… hurt her or threatened her to cut her out of my life.”
Jerry stopped his pacing in front of us, his chest heaving like a raging bull. “I can talk to someone at CPS. We work with the police all the time, I’m sure they’re—”
August’s whole body went stiff, head snapping up with wide eyes. “Did you report Mia to them? Oh gods, I didn’t think of that! What if he’s monitoring the system? What if he already knows she’s here?! He could show up any time!”
Jerry quickly crawled across the mattress to kneel in front of August, desperate to reassure him. “No, I never did. It’s okay, she’s safe.”
“You’re sure?” he asked, so vulnerable, so raw.
“Yes, I’m sure.” I had a feeling that even if August’s ex somehow managed to track them down, he wouldn’t leave thishouse alive. Jerry would make sure of it—and I would help him hide the body.
August’s hands were bunched so tight his fingers were probably numb, and I couldn’t hold back anymore. “Can I hold you?” I asked, and in answer, he let himself sag against me. There was no hesitation, and it warmed my heart to know he wasn’t afraid of me. I wouldn’t have blamed him at all if he felt wary of all men after his experience. Maybe it was because I was a beta, and for the first time in my life, I was grateful for my designation, if it meant giving comfort to August in this moment.
I brought my arms around his shoulders, his tears dripping onto my bare chest. I could tell Jer wanted to offer comfort too, but he kept his distance. He was still practically vibrating with rage, and I knew he didn’t want to intimidate August. So he used words instead. “You’re safe here, Auggie. Always. We’ll protect you, protect Mia. We’ll help you heal, and whenever you’re ready, we’ll help you reclaim your life. Whatever that looks like.”
