I really hoped this was a nightmare.
10
Lazlo
Themonitorbeeped,fillingthe room with its steady rhythm, but rather than being soothed by it, it was making me anxious. His heart was beating too fast, his blood pressure too low. I couldn’t keep my eyes from flicking up to read the numbers on the screen every couple minutes. Feeling antsy, I stood from the chair at his bedside, checking for the tenth time that the antibiotics were right, the dosage, the rate.
This man… Sam had said his name was August, but no last name, and we didn’t find any ID in his wallet. He’d been hiding in the barn. Fordays. He’d been right there the whole time, losing blood, infection spreading, and we hadn’t known. I could’ve helped him so much sooner, could’ve gotten him care and avoided the hospital entirely. This didn’t need to happen. Guilt gripped me, and I paced the length of the small private room, hands bunched into fists at my sides.
I could barely take my eyes off him. He seemed too small in the giant bed, the gown draped over his skeletal frame as if hehadn’t eaten a decent meal in weeks, maybe even longer. He was too pale, weak from blood loss and the infection that had very nearly claimed his life. Where on earth did he come from? Where did he give birth? Because it clearly wasn’t in a hospital. Mia hadn’t even been a day old when Jerry found her on his porch. Whatever August had been through, he’d been alone, that much was certain.
I felt an uncontrollable need to protect him. He barely looked old enough to grow a beard, let alone have a baby, maybe 24, 25 years old. I imagined a psychologist would say I had a savior complex—as if I didn’t already know that. It was the reason I went into medicine in the first place, to help people, but during my time working in a hospital, I’d had to learn that I couldn’t save them all. It was mathematically impossible, the odds were not in my favor. Every time I lost a patient, though, it always left a hole, a cavity inside me that could never be filled. Like a piece of myself was buried with them, even long after they’d passed. The thought of August becoming one of those lost patients, though… Unacceptable. I would save him. There was no alternative.
Wrestling my emotions into place, I tried to think logically, as if he were nothing more than a patient. “I’ll be right back,” I told Jerry, though I wasn’t sure he was listening. He’d been quiet since the ride to the hospital, following behind the ambulance. He looked haunted, trapped in his mind with dark thoughts. “Jerry?”
“Hmm?” His eyes flicked up to meet mine briefly. He was standing by the window, rocking Mia side to side. He’d sent Sam over to the neighbor’s house for the evening, but there was no time to find someone to watch her. Maybe it was a good thing. Mia needed her father, and he needed her too, that much was clear.
“I’ll be right out in the hall. Come get me if he wakes up?” He nodded. No matter how much I didn’t want to leave August, I trusted Jerry to watch over him for a few minutes.
I quickly pulled out my phone and called Delaney at home. She answered, her voice holding a note of concern. I didn’t call her on off hours unless it was important.
“I’m really sorry to do this, but there’s been a bit of a… family emergency.” While that wasn’t strictly true, it felt more accurate than calling him a patient. “I’m at the hospital right now, and I’m not sure when I’ll get out of here.”
“Of course, just tell me what you need.” She didn’t pry, and I appreciated that about her. She always got straight down to business.
I asked her to reschedule what she could, and the next phone call I made was to Dr. Neal Gage, a semi-retired colleague who stepped in when I needed him to. He would show up on Monday and hold down the fort for a few days. I probably wouldn’t need him that long, but I couldn’t leave August’s bedside. Not now, not when he needed me.
When I stepped back into the room, nothing had changed. The stillness was so unsettling, I almost wished Mia would wake up and fuss, just so we had something else to focus on.
“He could’ve died.” My voice cracked as I looked over at Jerry, putting my fears out into the world.
“But he didn’t,” he said firmly, leaving off the part that he still could. Treatment did not automatically mean recovery.
He carried a sleeping Mia over and set her gently on her father’s chest, as if giving them the bonding time they’d missed after her birth, and my heart gave a tight squeeze in my chest. Jerry was so strong, he needed no one, and that just made me want to take care of him even more. Even strong men deserved someone to lean on when they felt weak.
Standing at the bedside, he set a hand on Mia’s back to steady her, rising and falling with her father’s breath. “He was wearing my clothes,” he said raggedly, eyes red-rimmed. “I feel like I failed him. I knew Sam was hiding something, but I didn’t push. I should’ve pushed… I should’ve known he was there. I could’ve gotten him help sooner.” He sounded devastated, and I moved to his side and wrapped my arms around him.
“This isnotyour fault,” I said fiercely, reminding myself that it wasn’t my fault either. But I would absolutely find out whose fault it was. Rage simmered just under my skin. It was impossible to miss the previous injuries littered across August’s body like a map of abuse. He had too many scars, still-healing bruises. I’d bet if we took X-rays, we would find old fractures. This was the body of a survivor.
I’d never been a violent man, but for the first time in my life, I felt the urge to murder whoever had laid a finger on this man. And while pregnant! I closed my eyes against the wash of red that soaked my vision.
Jerry’s body was tense, a muscle in his jaw twitching as he clenched his teeth. His eyes were harder than I’d ever seen them, and I set a hand on his arm. “I wish…” he began, but whatever he’d been about to say was lost when we both noticed a change in August’s breathing.
I’d been so attuned to August’s stillness that the change stood out as clearly as a blaring alarm. His breath shallowed out, then stuttered, and I whipped my head around in time to see his eyes flutter open. They were a beautiful gray-blue—Mia’s eyes, I immediately noted—though there were deep purple creases beneath them.
His gaze darted back and forth between me and Jerry, the beeping from the monitor racing as he struggled to breathe. Jerry quickly went to grab Mia back from his chest, but Augustflinched, his hands coming up to hug her to him possessively. “No!” he shouted. “She’s mine!”
Mia jerked awake and started crying, and August’s face crumpled. “Oh, sweetie, I’m so sorry.” As tears started pooling in his eyes, I had a feeling he was apologizing for so much more than waking her from a nap. He didn’t seem to know where to look or what to do. I could see the signs of an impending panic attack.
“Shhh, it’s okay,” Jerry said, soothing both Mia and August, it seemed.
I inched forward, and his eyes locked on me. “August, do you remember me?” He frowned as he struggled to make sense of where he was and what was going on. “My name is Lazlo, and I’m a doctor. We found you in the barn, and you were very sick with a postpartum infection. You’re in the hospital—” That only seemed to trigger more panic, and I thought of the scars, the bruises, the fact that he’d delivered a baby outside of a hospital. Someone was to blame for this fear, but it wasn’t us. I took a guess and said, “They don’t know your name. He can’t find you here. You’re safe.”
He stilled for a second, holding his breath as he thought on that. His eyes drifted to Jerry next, whose hands were still extended in case he needed to catch Mia, and recognition flickered. “You…” he whispered. “Jerry?”
Jerry nodded, the briefest amount of tension leaching away. “Yes. You left Mia with me. I’ve been taking good care of her for you.”
The tears spilled down his cheeks. “I didn’t want to…”
