Eyes back on the cutting board, I heard Sam rifle through the cupboard for a snack and then the back door opened, and through the window, I saw him heading to the barn. Huh, I didn’t even need to ask him to do his chores.
I hadn’t expected him to come running back so soon, though. Panic flared, adrenaline surging when I saw the look of terror onhis face. I dropped the knife and met him at the door. “What is it? What’s wrong?”
Sam’s eyes were wide, chest heaving. “Dad!” The name came off his lips so naturally, but I didn’t have time to bask in that feeling. “He needs your help! Quick!”
9
August
Crying…IsworeIheard a baby crying…
Mia needs me.
It was the first thought that drifted into my head, the instinctive need to protect my daughter impossible to ignore. But when I tried to get up, my arm buckled under my weight, and I came crashing back to the hard ground.
When I finally managed to open my eyes, the room spun around me, impossible to focus on any one thing. Concrete, wood, shadowy corners, all slashed through with muted beams of sunlight. Where was I? What happened?
I allowed the weight of my head to fall back to the floor, stars exploding behind my eyelids. When I rolled onto my back, a stabbing pain in my gut made my stomach heave. I barely managed to turn my head in time to expel my last meal onto the ground to my left. “Fuuuuck,” I groaned, doing my best to curl into the fetal position, knees to chest.
The coppery tang of blood drifted into my nose, sparking a memory.
I gave birth. Mia was with the man… the nice man… Jerry. She was okay, she was safe. But was I?
I’d been bleeding, more than I thought was normal. The clothes the boy brought me were clinging to me, drenched with sweat, which probably meant I had a fever. And there was a throbbing pain all through me.
When there was the squeal of the barn door opening, I couldn’t even bring myself to open my eyes. A cool breeze drifted in from outside, and regardless of my fever, I found myself wracked with shivers. My breath came out in a pant, hot and dry against my lips.
“August?” a soft voice said, quivering. “Are you okay?”
“M fine,” I mumbled on reflex. It wasn’t the first time I’d told that lie. Every time a friend had seen a new bruise on my arm or questioned why I wouldn’t come to the bar with them, but that hadn’t happened in a long while. I didn’t have any friends anymore. Victor had seen to that. The lie was always safer. It prevented him from inflicting any more pain.
I could feel Sam hovering over me, felt the touch of his icy hand on my forehead, before I drifted off, letting the shadows claim me. They brought with them a foggy relief where I didn’t have to think about pain or fear or regret. Where I knew everything would be okay…
What could’ve been minutes, hours, or even days later, I heard voices. Forcing my eyes open, I squinted at the figures approaching. The large man I’d followed here, he crossed the barn in three wide strides, before crouching down to loom over me. I must’ve been dreaming, because Sam promised he wouldn’t tell his dad I was here.
“August… August, can you hear me?” he asked, his fingers pressing into my neck.
My lips were too numb to respond, but I grunted. I realized distantly that I should’ve been intimidated by a man his size, a complete stranger, not someone who’d earned my trust, but… I didn’t even flinch as he ran his hands over me, checking for injury. It was all a dream, after all, and dreams couldn’t hurt me. “So much blood,” he muttered.
There was the sound of an engine, maybe a car pulling up, and Jerry ran to the door, shouting for someone’s help. When he returned, there was someone else, with dark hair and eyes and a kind smile. He took my hand, a thumb pressed firmly at my wrist. “It’s nice to meet you, August. My name is Lazlo, and I’m a doctor. I’m going to help you, okay?”
I might’ve nodded, but I couldn’t say for sure. How did a doctor get here so fast?
“Are you Mia’s dad?” How did he know?
I didn’t mean to start crying, but it was all too much. The pain had spread, and I was scared. “Please tell me this is a dream,” I sobbed.
“No, it’s not a dream,” he said with a sad smile, before he turned to look over his shoulder at Jerry. “Call an ambulance.”
“No, no, no, no hospital…” I slapped at him weakly, trying to get away, but my body wouldn’t work. “He’ll find me, he’ll… he’ll…” I couldn’t remember what I was saying. I couldn’t focus, and my eyes drifted shut.
Someone took my hands and held them in a firm grip. “Nobody is going to hurt you, August,” he assured me. “We’re here to help. We’ll protect you.”
He was a liar. Nobody could protect me, not from Victor.
“I d-don’t matter anymore,” I mumbled as the voice grew distant. “Protect… Mia…”
The rest was a blur of muted sensation. Fingers massaging into my tender abdomen. Gnawing pain like bloody teeth tearing into me. Cool water on my lips, a cloth dabbing at my face, warmblankets, and a comforting embrace as I was lifted from the hard floor. No one had ever held me like this before, like I was treasured. It couldn’t be real. A deep voice, telling me I was safe. Sirens, the smell of antiseptic. Hot, cold, hot again. Pain and more pain.
