“You were saying?” Taz says smugly. I look between them. Did I miss something? All of my pack are looking at me with this weirdly awed expression.
Jake sighs. “How are we figuring teams?” Wow he caved quick. What happens next is a ten-minute debate on whose team I’ll be on. Somehow Taz got it that since he put this together, me and him are an automatic team. There’s eleven of us, so Harrison opted out quickly, saying he’d be the ref.
By the end we’re split into two teams of five. My team consists of Taz, Parker, Jake, and Micah. The other team hasKeelan, Eli, Ben, Liam, and Ren. They might have us beat on strength. Our playing field is the open area on the left side of the house. Taz set up some makeshift shields for each side, though with the tree line close by, I bet we could run there to make things more interesting.
Harrison leans against the railing, slightly standing above us on the part of the house’s decking. Once we’re all set, he counts us down, “Five, four, three, two, one…”
Suddenly the world is a chaotic blur of snowballs flying through the air. No one is aiming for me, which is a little boring. I can take it, stupid mates. It just makes me throw mine a little harder. Taz gets a lot thrown his way but he’s just a happy cackling fool the entire time. His crazy energy is rubbing off on me.
I’m having the time of my life, and it’s made all the better seeing and feeling my mates happy. We all needed this.
22
THEA
Returning to work after the heat has been okay. It’s still super slow. I’ve been working on some deep cleaning projects within the lodge. Taz is still my shadow. He’s been coming in handy today. I’ve put him to work to move some furniture as I clean.
He huffs about it but it’s all bluster. The New Year’s party is tomorrow night, so a lot of the staff have been setting up the dining room today. I never realized some of the half walls in the dining room weren’t fixed since they blend in so well. I was confused when I saw a couple of the staff carrying one out of there. The main dining hall is a beautiful room. The ceiling is high, including the second story of the lodge, allowing for the chandeliers to hang at varying lengths. The left wall where guests will walk in is nothing but floor-to-ceiling windows and a glass door leading out to a small patio. We got a little more snow last night. Seeing it outside these windows and the trees in the distance covered in it as well will never not look magical to me.
I freaked out a little when I realized we would be going to the party since my heat is over now. Ben helped me, though. The main reason I was anxious was because I didn’t have anythingdressy in my wardrobe. I had some casual skirts but nothing to wear to a party like this. Ben told me it wasn’t black tie and had already gotten me a dress for the party. I still don’t know how I feel about that. I haven’t seen it yet. He refuses to show me until I have to get ready.
And people think alphas are the controlling ones. They clearly haven’t met many betas like Ben. I smile to myself as I enter the break room, grabbing a water.
“Hey, I’ve been looking for you. I have good news,” Ben says happily, pulling me into a hug.
Laughing lightly, I return his hug and give him a quick kiss. “Oh, what is it?”
“We hired someone to replace you. She’ll start in a week,” he answers, his hand still holding me close.
I don’t say anything, mixed feelings swirling within me. He told me that was the plan before. I guess I’ll miss doing the work and being here. I’ve come to love the lodge, not as much as Ben, but I see his love and passion everywhere here. Keelan’s too in all his gorgeous carvings.
“You’re not happy?” Ben says slowly, his eyes narrowing and lips turning down now, erasing his smile.
“It’s not that necessarily. I just don’t know what I’ll do after this. Things are so uncertain.” I walk over to the windows overlooking the lake. Ben follows and stands next to me.
“You’ve been working so hard just to survive. You deserve a break and time to figure out what makes you happy. Jake went through the same thing,” he says, making me look at him. His lips turn up slightly at my reaction before he continues, “I’m sure he’ll tell you more about it if he hasn’t already, but he didn’t work for a while after he left the bureau. He found the forest rangers organically and felt that was his path up here. No one is going to rush you into working. We’re pack and we take care of each other.”
I remember Jake mentioning something like that before. “Connor said something similar after I quit my corporate job. That I deserved a break.” My gaze returns to the lake. It’s so still, a facade of calm. I can relate to that. At least before I came to the valley and met my scent matches. I don’t want to feel like I’m wearing a mask anymore. I haven’t as much lately but I still fall back on it.
I lean over closer to Ben, resting my head against his shoulder, letting out a deep breath. “So when’s my last day?”
23
MICAH
Icould barely work today. It shouldn’t have been a problem since there’s plenty to do after being out for over a week, but I asked Thea if we could talk after work tonight. I keep running through what and how to say to her what I’m feeling. Never have I felt more emotionally stunted as I do right now. My pack would probably sayI told you soabout scheduling individual therapy sessions. I was the only one of us who didn’t.
I end up leaving early and driving around town for a while before I go home. Even with everything going on, I’m so grateful we ended up in the valley. We all grew up in cities and knew we didn’t want to live in another one once we finished school. Hell, Jake is the only one of us who grew up in New York City. The rest of us are originally from other cities in New York.
I’m letting my mind wander too much. I need to think about my conversation with Thea. I should probably open up to her. As much as things in the past hurt and affected me, I try to keep those doors closed. That’s why the guys tried not to mention our ex’s name around me. I’m sure our therapist would explain why I do the things I do. When it comes to our ex, it felt more likegiving more power to her and what happened every time it was brought up.
I enter the house. It’s not long before Duke finds me. Poor guy hasn’t gotten much attention the last couple weeks. When I would leave the nest during Thea’s heat, he was always lying outside the door. I rub his dark head, not needing to bend much thanks to his size. I should thank Harrison for taking care of him while we dealt with the heat. I made sure he had food and water but wasn’t always able to let him out like normal. I tried to leave the nest once and Thea noticed and nearly followed me out. I made sure after that to only leave when she was sleeping or entirely focused on someone else.
“What do you think I should do, Duke?” I ask him. He’s panting happily and doesn’t react to the question, instead jumping up to lick my face. I give him some attention, rubbing his stomach and back. Maybe I should tell Thea he loves playing in the snow; she likely doesn’t know. He hasn’t been around her much since he tends to follow me when I’m home. He’s our pack’s dog but for whatever reason he likes me best. It’s interesting since everyone else are nicer than I am on the outside.
I end up on the back deck. It’s fully enclosed but still chilly. There’s a small fireplace here and I quickly get a fire going to warm up the space before sitting on the couch facing the large windows. The lake and mountains never fail to help me put things into perspective.
Duke lies at my feet closest to the fire. Time passes and I absently remember to text Thea to find me out here for our talk when she’s home. I’ll be honest with her, she deserves that. The real question is, do I deserve her?
