“Micah?” Thea sounds tentative as she enters the enclosed deck. She rounds the other end of the couch and sits at the opposite end to me, sitting sideways facing me. Duke raises hishead to see who joined us but goes back to resting after seeing Thea. She smiles at that.
“You’re definitely his favorite,” she says, a light tone to her voice. I just shrug at that comment, not much to say.
Just start talking, Micah.“Thea, I’m truly sorry for how I made you feel when you first came here and joined the pack. I was suspicious and assumed the worst, which wasn’t fair to you,” I tell her as sincerely as I can. Her lips are parted slightly in surprise before she recovers.
“Thank you, I appreciate the apology. I have to ask though, was it all because of what happened with Amber?” she asks but it makes me flinch even just a little. I hate that about myself. Her eyes widen at my reaction.
Wanting to erase the last five seconds, I quickly say, “Partially. She wasn’t the only omega that’s had a negative impact on my life…” I trail off, not ready to open that door but I need Thea to understand, even a little bit.
“My mom is an omega, I have two alpha dads. They were all bonded and seemed happy but when I was nine, she left. Just walked out and started a new life somewhere else. I didn’t react well back then. My dads are amazing. They did everything to help me all while losing a bond. I think the only reason they even were able to survive her leaving is because they are bonded to each other as well,” I ramble, unable to look at her. Honestly, I feel physically sick talking about this time in my life. I don’t add that the few times I did see my mom after she walked out on us. She either acted like I didn’t exist or was the opposite, everything I did wasn’t good enough for her.
Her scent is suddenly stronger and I look up, noticing that she’s moved to the cushion next to me. Her hand reaches for mine and she seems to hesitate before grabbing it and squeezing. Turning to look at the view outside the windows, I swallow, preparing for the next part. “Everyone has a sob story, mine isn’tan excuse, but I have been told it’s important context for me as a person.” I then mutter, “Thank Eli for that.”
“He was right it is important. Thank you for telling me. Though I’m livid on your behalf.” What she said prompts me to look at her. The glares she usually aims at me are nothing compared to the fire in her eyes right now, hotter than anything burning in the fireplace behind me. “What is it with people leaving bonded mates? Let alone their child. I could never understand someone who does either of those things, never mind both.”
I’m not sure what to say. I want to tell her I want to give a relationship together a try but the words won’t come. A few minutes pass before she asks, “So you don’t like omegas in general? Or is it that what Amber did brought up the feelings from your past, then I come along a year or so after and those feelings were placed on me?”
It’s like she reached into my mind pulling what I can’t voice out. “The latter,” I say, voice rough.
“What do you want, Micah?” she asks openly, no sarcasm or teasing or malice in sight.
“I want a relationship with you. You are my mate. I want to build something together. I just…” I pause, trying to gather my thoughts. I can be self-assured in every other area of my life except when it comes to her. “…I know I don’t deserve you. I am going to try to be better. Make it up to you for how I was before. Honestly even then I doubt that will be enough.”
My eyes return to hers, then blink, surprised to find her glaring at me, the one she normally aims my way. Well, that confirms what I thought. She probably can’t get past how I acted. “Micah, everything you said after ‘I just’ is total bullshit. But I know well enough it won’t be me who has to change your mind. It’s on you.” She’s the one to look away this time. “I also want a relationship with you. You’ve been slowly showing me yourreal self over the last few weeks. You’ve already been changing how I viewed you from before. You think I would have been okay having sex with you if I thought you were the asshole from before?”
Her hand that’s been holding mine releases. It feels like a loss. “You should figure things out and how you feel and if you can commit. However, for now let’s just try to be friends?” she says, a question in her voice as she looks at me again. “We’re pack after all and that won’t ever change whether we’re in a relationship and bonded or not,” she adds with a forced smile she tries to pass as genuine but I can tell. Her eyes are sad.
She stands and leaves quicker than I thought she would. I didn’t even get a chance to say anything in response. I want to be better for her. She deserves that. I don’t want her to feel like she’s stuck with me just because we’re scent matches. Leaning back against the couch with a groan, I stare at the ceiling. That could have gone better. I hear the door open again. I sit up fast, thinking it might be Thea but it’s just Ben.
I relax back into the couch. He walks over and stands behind me, looking down at me. “You didn’t figure it out yet?” he asks, confusing me further. Seeing my confused face, he groans and flicks my forehead. “You are an idiot. For the love of the Gods who made us scent matched to that amazing woman, talk to a therapist. Do you want another twenty years to go by struggling to work past this? Or at least talk openly to us, we all want you to be happy and be happy with Thea, assuming you want that?”
“I do,” I murmur.
He rolls his eyes. “Of course you do. It was obvious when two things happened, you cooked for her the first time after her mini heat and when you suggested our group courting gift. There’s no clock on this, but do you want to be in this limbo you placed yourself in for years?”He walks back into the house after saying that, leaving me with that question hanging in the air. I don’twant that, but I don’t know how to push through the walls still left between us, walls I made but can’t seem to break.
24
THEA
Ihaven’t been to a party like this in years, the last probably being Connor’s last work holiday party the year before he died. The guys are all waiting downstairs for us to drive over to the lodge. I take one last appraising look in the mirror. The dress Ben got is just my style. I tend to like more retro fit and flowy skirts; the dress he got is black fitted on top and the upper waist before flaring out like a skater skirt. The length stops around mid-thigh. The top part of the dress definitely makes my boobs look good, almost too much but sometimes it really can’t be helped. Thankfully it has thicker straps that can hide my bra straps. I absolutely loathe strapless bras.
I lightly curled my hair, leaving it all down. I am not the best at makeup and went simple again except putting on a bold lip. Hopefully it looks okay, other than my date with Ben when I tried dressing up a bit even if it was only at my then rental house, this is my first time doing all this since meeting them. The ankle boots I’m wearing have at least a two-inch heel, giving me a small height boost.
I feel good. Tonight will be fun. I’ll try to mingle and if I fail, I’ll let Micah take the brunt of any conversations. I laughto myself at the image, but quickly sober thinking of him. Our conversation yesterday upset me more than I would have thought. I had to leave before he picked up on it. It made me realize I care about him more than I thought. I wouldn’t say I love him, however I’m on that path, but I don’t think we can move forward until he does some soul searching.
I was shocked to hear of what happened to his family growing up. It explains why someone I always viewed as too confident for his own good would have such deep insecurities about himself, at least when it comes to relationships. And fucking Amber just reinforced anything negative he already thought when she used him then cheated. If I ever meet his mother—oh, will I have some choice words for her too. It didn’t sound like he’s still in contact with her from the way he talked about her. Probably for the better. Sophie will scoop him up the minute they meet. Actually, maybe they should be introduced soon. She has a way of making anyone feel better. I wish I had that ability. Mhm, something to think about after the party.
I make my way downstairs and into the kitchen, one of our main gathering places, it seems. The guys are in various states—Micah in his usual three-piece suit, Ben, Liam, and Eli are all wearing suits and ties, though different colors that complement each of them. Jake, Parker, and Keelan are wearing slacks and a dress shirt, no tie. I could’ve guessed they’d be the ones to take that route. Parker has the top half of his blond hair up in a man bun. Yep, it’s working for me, discovering something new about myself tonight.
Walking in, the click clacking of my heels catches their attention and the silence is almost immediate. I do a twirl to tease them. “How do I look?” I drawl out, trying to smother a laugh.
A chorus of “Beautiful, perfect, gorgeous” sounds from them, making me smile.
“Okay well let’s get going, don’t want to be late to your own party,” I say, holding my arm out to Ben.
“Why does he get to be your escort?” Eli asks, pouting.
“Because he planned the party and got me this outfit. So it’s only fair he gets to show it off.” I playfully stick my tongue out at him. I haven’t felt like this in so long, almost like my old self.I’m going to have fun tonight,I keep repeating that to myself.Connor, if you’re there, you better love the show.
