“I know it sounds stupid, but I did it for him. I wanted to stop things before both of us got hurt but that didn’t work because, well, you saw how everything went.”
“How long have you guys been…”
“Since your party,” I mumble. “The one at the start of term two.”
“The start of term two?” Ethan yells. “I was expecting you to say since two weeks ago, but — Aaron, that’smonths.” He paces around the kitchen. “Gimme a moment to let all of this sink in.”
“It's not that long,” I say in a small voice. “We never made it official. We were just fooling around.”
“What I can't get over,” he says, “is how good you two were at hiding it. Like when we all got pizza that one time, and you guys seemed friendly enough, I suppose. He did wipe the sauce off your mouth. But I’d never have guessed you two were fucking.”
I close my eyes.
“And he called you ugly, remember?” Ethan continues.
I instinctively sink into myself a little. “I know,” I mutter. “I know. I know he doesn't like me. That's the whole point.”
I cut myself off before I explain all of the hidden identity shenanigans. I probably will tell him eventually, after enough time has passed for my heart to stop hurting. Hopefully, I’ll be able to laugh at everything, because admittedly, it’s a funny story. But right now, I don't want to get into it.
“I just messed up really bad,” I say. “Not only with Jude but you guys as well. I feel like everyone's mad at me.”
“I’m not mad.”
“But I'm not who you think I am.”
Ethan gives me a look. “Is this the point where you're going to reveal that you're Spider-Man or something?”
I stare at him, taken off guard. Then I start laughing, unable to control myself, and Ethan chuckles, too.
“Geez,” Ethan says after we’ve sobered up. “You can be so dramatic sometimes.”
“It’s true, though. I’ve always felt like I have to act normal at school so everyone will like me. So I do things like pretend to like football when I don’t.”
“We figured you lost interest in it since you didn't want to play this year.”
“But Ineverliked football. Honestly, most sports freak me out, what with the balls flying at my face.”
“But doesn’t that happen with Jude all the time?”
I pause. It takes a second for me to get it, and I give him my worst glare.
“Sorry. I, er, couldn’t resist. But yeah, this probably isn’t the right time.” He has the grace to look sheepish.
“It’ll never be the right time,” I tell him. “Please don’t mention Jude’s balls to me ever again.”
“Message received. What were you saying?”
I think back. “That I don’t like sports. Actually, what I like is art, and I want to pursue it as a career. Also, I really like reading manga. And anime. Also, I don’t like parties because they’re too loud, and I don’t like drinking alcohol.”
“Okay. So you like art and anime shit, and you don’t like sport and booze. Big deal.”
“I just told you that I’m a massive fraud.”
“Oh my god,” Ethan says, bringing his hands up like I’m frustrating him now. “You’re acting like you’ve pulled this big con on us, but right now, you're acting exactly how I’d expect you to. The Aaron I know would act like he’s a terrible person, say sorry a lot, and be really self-deprecating and hard on himself, all because he wants to make other people happy. It’s no big deal, dude. You’re still the same guy.”
I stare at him.
“Look, I came over to see if you were okay and cheer you up.”
