“So,” Ethan says after finishing his drink. “Are you alright?”
“Why wouldn't I be?”
“Uh, I don't know, maybe because of everything that happened last night?”
“Yeah, well, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to ruin Mimi's birthday party.”
Ethan rolls his eyes. “Don't mind Mimi. I know she was super hard on you last night, but it's not because of the birthday cake, ruining her party, or anything like that. She was upset because of Lily.”
“Lily?” I ask with a sinking feeling.
“Yeah,” Ethan says, “Mimi knew how much Lily liked you, even though it was obvious that you didn't want to date her, so when everything happened, she was mad you were into Jude and not Lily. Don’t hold it against her. It's not like she actually has any issue with you being, like, you know, a homo or whatever.”
“Alright,” I say, looking down at the kitchen island because I was not expecting to have this conversation, and it's awkward as hell. “What does everyone else think?” I remember Ricky seemed okay with it last night.
“Ricky’s fine with it,” Ethan says. “And I'm fine with it as well. I mean, I’m a little weirded out that you didn't tell us. And also shocked because you're like, manly and stuff.”
“What?”
“Like, you know, you're not really into fashion or make-up—”
“Oh my god,” I interrupt. “I’m not a stereotype.”
Ethan looks sheepish. “I know, it's just…I never would have expected. Then again, I wouldn't have expected about Jude either. I guess this is the moment I’m supposed to say something about not judging a movie by its trailer.”
“Don’t you mean a book by its cover?”
“Whatever.” He pauses. “I think everyone’s also a little…hurt… that you’ve been hiding this from us the entire time. Do you think that we were all, like, bigots or something?”
“No. I mean, it's not like I was 100% sure you were all homophobes.”
“Right. I’m not the smartest or most politically aware guy, but I’m not that bad, Aaron. The others aren’t, either. I wish you’d had some faith in us.”
“It’s not that I didn’t trust you all, exactly,” I say. “To be honest, I never intended to tell anybody. Not even my Mum and Dad, but they probably know because of parental instinct or whatever.”
Ethan nods. “Okay. I’m not trying to guilt you or anything. It’s your business. But sometimes you’re really secretive, not only about this, but loads of things. You’re good at listening to the rest of us but rarely talk about yourself and your problems.”
“I just don’t want to bore you,” I say.
“Yeah, but there’s been hundreds of times where I’ve talked to you about whether I could fight a great white shark. Or Ricky rambling on about his insane delusion that he can eat twenty burgers in one minute. Look, I don’t want to have some mushy-gushy conversation.” And to be fair, it’s one of the few times Ethan looks uncomfortable, eyes on the kitchen island instead of me. “But like I said before, it’s like you don’t trust us. And then there’s all the times you straight-up lied to our faces, like how you said over and over that you didn't want to date anyone.”
“It's true,” I insist. “I really didn't want to date anyone in year 12. The thing with Jude happened by accident.”
Ethan raises a brow. “Sure, you just ended up in bed with him half-naked by accident.”
“I know it sounds ridiculous. At first, we were just messing about, but then I realised that I actually…really like him.” I duck my head because I’ve never had a conversation like this with Ethan before. But he’s quiet, prompting me to go on.
“Anyway, it doesn’t matter. Everything's ruined now.”
“How?” Ethan says.
“You really want to hear the whole story?” I ask.
“Dude, what did I just tell you like 30 seconds ago? I want to hear about your problems, even if they're dumb. Otherwise, it feels like you don’t actually consider me a mate.”
“Alright, okay.” I inhale deeply through my nose. “Well, before you and the others arrived, I was ending things.”
Ethan stares. “Okay, what?”
