“What are you doing?” Hudson hisses to Fin, but he’s grinning.
“What.” Kieran says, appearing to the left of me. I wonder if I should turn around or ignore him.
I can’t help myself. I glance at him. He’s rolled his sleeves up to his elbows, showing off his tan forearms, and holds a dark green folder against one hip. He doesn’t look at me.
“Come sit with us.” Fin leans back in his seat, and gives Kieran a slow, slick smile.
“I’m meeting my friends. Sorry.” Kieran doesn’t sound sorry at all.
“The girls?” Fin calls after him. “Which one’s your girlfriend?”
“Ooooooh,” Hudson says in a low voice. God, why does he have the maturity of a six-year-old?
Kieran’s face is blank, except for a raised eyebrow that says,areyou finished?
“Cuz, otherwise, it’s pretty gay to only hang out with chicks,” Fin says.
Hudson smiles like this is the most entertaining thing in the world, while Aiden looks bored, continuing to type notes on his computer. I wish I could keep studying, but I can’t, not when this is happening right beside me. The high I was on at the beginning of lunchtime has disappeared. Fin’s ruined my mood, and I’m pissed at him for it.
“So is that it?” Fin lowers his voice into a stage-whisper. “Are you —”
Kieran shakes his head and walks away to join his friends, who are much nicer than mine.
Fin stares at him with a clenched jaw, then opens his mouth.
“Don’t,” I say, before he can shout across the library. “It’s embarrassing.”
Fin glares at me.
“If you’re going to fuck with him, can you do it another time? I’m trying to study,” I say.
A beat passes. “Well,” Fin says. “There’s the uptight Jasper I know.”
I ignore him, but inside my stomach flips over. Seeing Fin taunt Kieran makes me think about how I treated him. No wonder Kieran hates me.
No. No thinking, no caring. Ever since I decided that in the boys’ bathroom weeks ago, Kieran and I have had heaps of uncomplicated, amazing sex. I’m not worrying about that.
I grip my pen tighter and focus on studying.
*
“How’s life?” Juliet asks, as she takes a seat on the other side of the dining table with a bowl of low-calorie salad.
I swallow the pasta I’m shovelling into my mouth. In front of me is my physics textbook that I’ve been highlighting, and a bunch of loose paper notes around it. I shouldn’t be studying at dinner — usually I’m more organised than that — but recently I’ve been distracted and pretty lax about my schedule.
I cap my highlighter and use it as a bookmark for the textbook. “Fine.” I ask after pushing the textbook away. Usually we don’t eat in the dining room, since it feels depressing for only the two of us to eat at this huge 12-seater dining table, but I chose to sit here today because the table space is beneficial for studying.
“Talked to Mum and Dad recently?” she asks.
“Nah.”
“Neither.” She appraises me. “How’s Kieran?”
I almost drop my fork. “How would I know?”
“You go to the same school,” Juliet says like I’m stupid.
Oh. Right. “I think he’s fine. I don’t know. I don’t talk to him.”
