I hesitate. That does sound wonderful. Serena and Rollo break up later this week, and I’m at a loss what to do with them. Chateau des Anges is an incredible biodynamic vineyard that Elaine and Philippe’s drinks company bought two or three years back; I’ve heard amazing things about it.
‘Gosh, that’s tempting. Do you seriously have space?’
Elaine laughs. ‘My dear, we have oodles of space. And Rollo and Eddie must be similar in age, no?’
‘They are. Eddie’s maybe a year older than Rollo?’
I think. It would be great to have another kid to keep my kids entertained in the pool.
‘Then it’s settled. Come for as long as you’d like. And—extend the invitation to Jackson, or don’t. Your call.’
‘I think he’ll struggle to get away from work.’ That’s the diplomatic answer to give. I need some space from my bloody husband while I work out what to do about this latest woman of his.
Elaine’s kind nod tells me she gets it. ‘That’s fine. You and the kids come, then. The more the merrier.’
When we rejoin the rest of the group, Elaine says, ‘Evelyn, I think I’ve persuaded Honor to come with Serena and Rollo.’
It doesn’t escape my notice that Noah grins widely at this information. He’s very sweet.
‘I can be manny while I’m there. Especially in the pool.’ He sticks his hand up. ‘As long as there are floaties.’
‘You and Angus can tag-team,’ Evelyn says. ‘Angus is firmly on kid duty. I wanted to bring our nanny—Rose is still pretty full-on, especially now she’s mobile—but he says he won’t hear of it. He wants “family time”. It’s his funeral. I’ll be stuck to my sun lounger, drinking my body weight in your delicious rosé, Elaine. Honor, you can be my drinking buddy.’
‘Oh my God.’ I moan despite myself. ‘It sounds like heaven. Count me in.’
My imagination drifts to a sun lounger by a gorgeous pool in the idyllic Provençal countryside. Tuning out the raucous shouts of ecstatic children and falling headfirst into a trashy novel. Sublime. I can already feel the sun on my skin, smell the coconut scent of suncream. It’s been far too long. The kids and I need this. Badly. But before that, I have a mountain to climb.
CHAPTER 6
Honor
‘You’d better have some freebies for me. You owe me big time.’
My sister Ally drums her hands on the wooden tabletop. We’re having breakfast at the Cowshed spa in Clarendon Cross before walking up to Avondale Park and braving the hospice. Despite all of Noah’s reassurance last night, I’m seriously spooked by the idea of walking into a place that’s basically a waiting room for death. I can tell Ally feels the same under her bravado.
‘I do. Guilt presents.’ I haul a large, glossy Honor Chapman Cosmetics bag off the floor and onto her lap. ‘I wasn’t sure how many freebies I’d need to make up for the fact that you’re putting up our terminally ill mother and her nurse.’
‘Many, many freebies is the answer to that.’ Ally’s face is already buried in the carrier bag as if it’s a horse-bag. ‘Oh my Gooooood. You brought me the new tinted moisturiser. Thank you.’ She emerges from the bag and holds up a box in our signature rose-gold.
‘It’s not moisturiser. It’s iridescent primer. You’re welcome. We’re launching it exclusively in Selfridge’s next week. I figured death-watch earned you a pre-launch goodie or two.’
Ally blows me a kiss. ‘Thank yooooou. Thank you.’
‘I’m lucky you’re so easily pleased. All I have to do is bring you freebies. You have to look after Mum. How’s it going?’
‘It’s going. The nurse doesn’t have a huge amount to do at this point. She’s mainly keeping Mum company and prepping her meals when we’re all out.’
‘Still. It’s a big ask for you guys.’
Ally is a professor of Twentieth Century English Literature at King’s College. She has two children, Ralph and Dottie, who are a couple of years younger than Serena and Rollo, and is married to Ted, who’s one of the most genuinely decent people I’ve had the good fortune to meet. They live in Wimbledon, not far from where we grew up. Mum’s been staying with them for the past month, and I feel gut-wrenchingly guilty about that fact every day.
It should have been me and Jackson taking Mum in. But Mum put her foot down, said she didn’t feel comfortable being ill in our huge house—she actually called it a mausoleum—and that she’d lived in Wimbledon Village her whole adult life and didn’t want to stray too far (it will be interesting having to pitch a move to Good Vibes to her, if we like it).
The principal source of my guilt is the relief I feel that we haven’t had to bring the spectre of illness and death into our beautiful home. Sickness scares the hell out of me. Mum’s always been an incredibly strong woman—well, until Dad passed a couple of years ago, anyway—and seeing her like she is at the moment is extremely upsetting.
There’s a part of me, I’m guiltily aware, that wants to staythe hell away from this new, sick version of Mum, no matter how awful that sounds to my own ears. And now Ally, whose house is far smaller than ours, has Mum staying, and this nurse staying, and the burden it will all put on my sister will be enormous. This Good Vibes place had better be a viable option, because, right now, it’s our only option.
‘It is what it is.’ Ally shrugs. ‘Yeah, it’s a pain at the moment, and it’s been weird and upsetting for the kids to see Grandma like this, but life isn’t all surface glamour. Sometimes you have to get stuck into the real stuff, y’know? And we do have limited time left with her, Duck Face.’
