‘Okay.’ She lifts her head and looks at me. Her eyes are enormous and green-gold and luminous with tears, and her adorable little mouth is quivering. Being this close to her, I can see her makeup is immaculate, and that she probably doesn’t need any of it. She’s utterly stunning. No wonder she made it onto the Sunrise sofa at such a young age. No wonder she bagged one of the biggest action movie stars to come out of the UK. She has star quality; I can see it. I canfeelit. The paps outside must be waiting for her—and I’d put money on thatsecurity guard being hers, too. Her presence outside makes me feel better on Honor’s behalf.
She holds my gaze and lets out a shaky exhale. ‘Wow, you’re good at this.’
I laugh and try not to let the praise go to my head. ‘I do this every day. I know for people like you and your mum, especially right now, end-of-life care feels like some sort of nightmarish parallel universe. But I promise you, there are plenty of people out there who are well-versed in this and capable of supporting you throughout this journey.’
She nods, and there’s a jut of determination to her jaw. ‘Will you tell me about your hospice? What’s it called?’
‘Of course I will. It’s called the Good Vibes Hospice, and I know you won’t believe this, but it’s actually a lovely place, and we work very hard to make it feel as unlike a medical centre as possible, and I like to think it has a happy vibe to it. It’s not all misery and death.’
‘Were you raised in California, by any chance? Adopted as an adult by Elaine and Philippe?’
Her smile is dazzling. That, and the combination of the tears dancing in her eyes, is too much. It’s like sunshine shining through raindrops. I almost expect a rainbow. That’s the effect she has on me.
‘Hey.’ I keep my tone gentle. ‘I’m as much of a hippy as someone raised in West London can be. It’s a funny name—but the idea of calling it something like Serenity was ghastly. People are either put off or drawn in by the name. And it does what it says on the tin. Good vibes only.’
I grin at her and am relieved and gratified to find her returning my grin, and I grab a bottle of wine and another glass and steer her up the back steps to the garden, where we sit and talk for a good thirty minutes.
And once half an hour is up, I like to think that I’ve even slightly alleviated her fears of the unknown journey her familyis facing, and at the very least, it’s half an hour where her philandering fuckwit of a husband hopefully hasn’t been at the forefront of her mind.
By the time I begrudgingly lead her back inside so she can join the other women and I can go pay my respects to them, we have a date. She and her sister will drop by Good Vibes tomorrow morning for a recce. Not the most obvious trappings of a good date, being that she’s married, way out of my league, worried sick about her mother, and bringing her sister along—but I’ll take it.
CHAPTER 5
Honor
I’m surprised at how reluctant I am to leave Elaine’s leafy garden, and this man, and a conversation that should be horrifying, but is instead gentle, and frank, and reassuring, and eye-opening. There’s something about embracing what lies ahead for Mum, and for all of us, that feels cathartic.
Since we got the news earlier this week, I’ve felt helpless, like everything’s unravelling, and I’m totally powerless to stop it. Chatting to Noah makes me realise I still have some currency; I have the power to make Mum’s last few months with us a period that may even have its own kind of quiet happiness about it.
He gestures for me to go first as we head upstairs to join the others, and I’m conscious of the fact that he leaves a few steps between us before following me up. He’s a gentleman.
He’s already given me the names of a few books I may want to read on palliative care, and we’ve set a time for me and Ally to visit the Good Vibes Hospice tomorrow. I can hear Ally scoffing at the name already, but I don’t care. I trust this guy. Besides, he’s Elaine and Philippe’s son. He’s likely to be a super-overachiever, just like his parents.
I’m surprised by how relaxed I feel after a short time in his company. It’s probably the wine, and the restorative nature of Elaine’s lovely garden, but it’s also him. He’s the absolute antithesis of Jackson, who’s always on, always dominating the conversation, always wanting totalkanddo.
Noah was quiet just now. Quiet, and gentle, and sensitive in the questions he asked me and the way he approached Mum’s diagnosis. It’s clear he’s good at what he does.
I have to hand it to Elaine. She couldn’t have produced a doctor son with a better bedside manner than Noah. He’s gorgeous looking, too. Utterly smoking, with his light tan and his Keanu-Reeves-esque dark hair, that he kept running his fingers through when he got particularly passionate about a point he was making.
I found myself wondering, several times, how it would feel to touch that hair, to run my own fingers through it. Jackson’s head has been shaven for as long as I’ve known him. And his smile! Jackson has the megawatt Hollywood grin perfected; his smile dazzles. Noah’s warms. It’s genuine and confidence-inspiring. And despite his consummate professionalism, I recognise a smile of male appreciation when I see it.
But it’s not just that. Noah’s calm, and calming: quietly confident and authoritative, without showing the slightest bit of ego. Some people in my life could learn from him. He has a good aura around him—a good vibe, I think, and giggle to myself. If his hospice is an extension of his own personality, I’m already sold.
When we get upstairs, the excitement and the noise level have escalated. Elaine breaks free from the other women to kiss Noah.
‘I see you’ve met the good doctor,’ she says to me, after Noah has smiled bashfully at an enthusiastic call from Stacey to go say hi, and taken his leave. ‘I came down to grab the foodand saw you two chatting in the garden. I thought I’d leave you to it.’
‘Thank you.’ I give Noah’s departing back a smile. ‘He’s been really helpful. My sister and I are going to go and see his hospice in the morning.’
‘Fantastic. I hope you’ll be pleasantly surprised. I don’t know how he does it, but it’s such a lovely place. Flowers everywhere, cosy furniture, rugs… it’s as far away from a hospital as it could be.’
‘I’m looking forward to seeing it,’ I say. ‘Really, he’s made me feel better about everything. You’ve done a good job with that one.’
‘He’s a good boy.’ Elaine smiles after him fondly. ‘We’re very lucky. We would have welcomed him into the drinks trade, but he’s always had a vocation. Now, tell me. Do you have any plans for the summer, or has this news about your mother knocked you for six?’
‘The latter, unfortunately. That, and Jackson’s promo schedule for this new show. I’m desperate to go abroad, but I haven’t quite worked out where.’
‘Come and stay at Des Anges with us! Please! We’d love to have you and the kids. Philippe and I are headed out next week for the summer, and Angus and Evelyn are joining us with Eddie and Rose. And I think Noah’s going to come for a long weekend, too.’
