A surprised laugh bubbled out of me. “God, you’re giving yourself a lot of credit. Let’s be clear that I am not a total idiot. And I don’t think you could have tricked me into a serious relationship if you were behaving as badly as you’re claiming to.”
His smile was smug, but his face turned a brighter shade of red. “Yeah, well, we were good together, Ada.” He waggled his eyebrows. “I mean, really good together. It scared the shit out of me. Also, my brother and sister would have never forgiven me if I was the reason you quit. I mean, they loved you right off the bat. They probably would have kicked me out of the partnership and offered it to you instead. And honestly, I was too selfish for that kind of risk back then.”
My stomach flipped. It wasn’t butterflies or anything. It was the burbling feeling of eating too much junk food and then surviving a fast, spinning fair ride. I wanted to be sick.
I let out a slow breath and tried to find my bearings again. “Charlie, why are you saying all this now?”
He leaned his elbow on the table and played with the corner of the closing list I’d been checking off. “I’ve gotten some help recently. Uh, someone has been helping me put words to the things I did and said. And now, instead of feeling guilt or regret or like shit, I can—” He cleared his throat suddenly. “I can take responsibility for my behavior.”
I felt my face go slack with surprise. It wasn’t a canned speech from Eliza. Charlie was getting actual help. He could have told me he was discovered at a Starbucks and cast as the next male lead in a Marvel movie, and I would have been less surprised. “You’re going to therapy?”
“No.” He cleared his throat again and pinched the edges of the papers he was playing with. “Well, yes, but more than therapy. I’ve been hanging out with this guy. Uh, his name is Steve. And he, I don’t know, gets it or something. He’s helped me find some perspective.”
The swelling hope I hadn’t noticed until now crashed around my feet. “Oh,” I said, trying to sound positive even though I wanted to immediately slip into detective mode and figure out who this Steve guy was and what he wanted from Charlie.
Charlie picked two kinds of friends. The first wanted money. The second wanted an accomplice for all the nefarious shit they planned on getting up to. It wasn’t that Charlie was stupid. It was that he was too trusting. He believed the best in most people, and even after they’d stolen all his money, gotten him mixed up in something shady, and ruined his life, he never stopped believing the best in them.
I’d lost count of how many “Steves” I’d interviewed over the years. It always ended with a failed background check, Charlie promising everyone they’d turned a new leaf, and a massive crash when Charlie realized the rest of us were right.
“That’s great,” I told him while I struggled to keep my expression neutral. “Self-awareness is a big deal. I’m proud of you for reaching out to a friend.”
He looked at me beneath thick lashes. His gaze was earnest, hopeful. I wanted this to be real. I wanted him to really see how much he’d hurt me and why. I wanted his reasons for behaving the way that he did then and in the years since to be true. But I was wary. I didn’t know how to trust this upgraded version of him after our volatile history.
Men like Charlie didn’t change overnight. They didn’t go from self-absorbed to suddenly thoughtful and remorseful. They didn’t regret the girls in their past. And they certainly didn’t worry about any of the people they’d left behind.
Some of the light dimmed in his eyes. “Well, he’s not just a friend. I don’t know. It’s hard to explain.”
“You don’t have to,” I promised him. “I’m really glad we had this talk.”
“Me too.” He took a step back.
Suddenly, I felt like crying, but I didn’t know why since we’d made actual progress tonight. Charlie said things I never expected him to say. But why did this feel worse?
Why did my heart hurt more?
Afraid I would do something stupid like break down in front of him, I quickly gathered my stuff and moved toward the kitchen. “Okay, well, I’m going to head out. Can you lock up?”
“Yeah, I can do that.”
“Great, thanks, bye.” I walked into the kitchen, noting it was later than I thought it was because Case and Joey were gone. An embarrassed shiver worked its way down my back when I realized they must have heard us arguing. They always stopped to check in with me before they disappeared for the night.Shit.
Charlie followed me into the kitchen, but I tried to ignore him. This had already turned awkward. I didn’t want to make it more so. Except he stayed close as I gathered my purse and laptop and whatever else I needed so I could get a full day off without stopping by.
“What are you doing?” I finally asked, exasperated.
“I was going to watch you go home,” he explained meekly. “It’s late. I just—”
“Oh.”
“Sorry, wasn’t trying to creep you out.”
I let out a nervous laugh and talked myself out of throwing myself off the closest bridge. “No, thanks, I, uh, appreciate it. I just, um, I didn’t know what you were doing.”
He smiled that shy, charming, stupid smile again. We both reached for the back door at the same time. His hand landed on mine.
Startled, and because I was a neurotic freak, I jumped around to face him. He was closer than I thought. My back was to the door, my chest just an inch from his.
“Ada,” he said in a deep, rumbly voice.
