I hadn’t dressed up in years. I spent most of my lifein yoga pants and thermals at home, and what could only be described as hikingchic when I was at work—tunics and leggings paired with my oh, so stylishhiking boots. I didn’t go anywhere else. My life with Juliet, raising her bymyself, was simple, but also busy. There wasn’t much time outside of ournecessary routine.
Which was how I liked it.
I liked to control every last detail. I lived forroutine and repetitive structure. I was at my best when things were mundane andpredictable.
Francesca swept into the small apartment with all ofthe vivaciousness and energy of a woman possessed. In an alternate reality,Frankie was the kind of girl that would be quickly climbing her way to the topof a corporate ladder right about now. She had the focus and drive to command hugecompanies. And the ruthless instinct to run the rest of them out of business.
In our currentlife, she had been raised to head another kind of business empire. And had westayed in DC, she would have excelled in the role her uncles had designed forher. She would have kicked ass.
Which was just one of the many reasons we had to getout of there. For Frankie’s sake.
To be honest, she was a little lost here. She likedher management position at the Lodge, but I could tell she was bored. She wasbored with our whole life. Not enough to want to go back to DC, but enough thatI had been worried about her lately.
She was used to constant activity and a high level ofauthority. Here she was low level management without friends or a social lifeor a purpose. She was trying to be happy. She was trying to be thankful. But Isaw the struggle. And I understood it. If I didn’t have Juliet, I could imaginemyself just like her, afraid to try because it would mean potential exposure,afraid to make friends because she didn’t trust anybody. Afraid to be happybecause the other shoe could drop at any moment. Purposeless, listless,rudderless.
But she was trying. For us.
“Whoa, Mama!” Francesca whistled when she took in myevening ensemble. “You look… you look like…”
“Like I’m trying too hard?”
Her dark eyes narrowed. “I was going to say like awoman. A real, live woman.”
I turned back to the microwave, wondering if I shouldwipe off some of my fire engine red lipstick. “I think it’s too much. He’sgoing to think that I’m… that I’m…”
“Into him?”She smiled at ourgame, but panic tightened my chest.
“I can’t do this.”
Francesca picked up Juliet and plopped her on a highbarstool. “You can!” she sing-songedto me.
“I’ll just stay home,” I decided. “I’ll hang with youtwo.”
Frankie and Juliet glared at me, twin stares ofimpatient judgment. “You’re not staying here with us,” Francesca insisted. “Weplan to misbehave for the next four hours, eat way too much candy and stay uplong past our bedtime. You’ll ruin all of our fun.”
Juliet looked up at Frankie like she was an angel sentfrom heaven.
I turned around and leaned back on my hands, pressingthem against the cool granite counter. “Frankie, I’m serious. I can’t do this.”
She smoothed her hand down Juliet’s braids beforelooking over at me with a solemn expression. “Caro, you can. You’ve been hidingyourself for too long. You can’t lock yourself in this apartment forever.”
I stared at my little girl and knew that I could. Knewthat I probably should. The world was an insidiously dark place. I knew morethan most how many dangers lurked in the shadowed places. I could easily staylocked in this apartment to keep her safe… to save her.
To save me too.
Frankie walked over to me, deliberately blocking Julietfrom my sight. She rested her hip on the kitchen island and softened her voiceso Jules couldn’t hear everything.
“It’s just one date,” she reasoned. “It’s not amarriage proposal. He won’t even expect sex. You’re just going to an event thatyou want to go to anyway. That’s all.”
“I’m freaking out,” I whispered to her. “I can’t feelmy face.”
Her lips twitched with a gentle smile. “You didn’ttake something trippy did you?”
I glared at her. “Of course not.”
She leaned forward. “I wouldn’t blame you. Jesse is…”She trailed off to fan her face with her hand.
Her enthusiasm for my date did not help me settledown. Nobody was more aware of how long it had been since I’d been on one ofthese. And even back then… it wasn’t…
