Well, it wasn’t this.
“I’m too old to date. Shouldn’t I be trolling theinternet or resigning myself to my bedside drawer? This is ridiculous!”
“Oh my God, Caro,” she growled and laughed at the sametime. “You’re twenty-five! You’re hardly facing a midlife crisis! Most girls ourage are out every night.”
My gaze flickered back to Juliet. Determinationmingled with the hysterical lunatic inside me. There was nothing I wouldn’t doto protect my little girl.
And I just didn’t know if dating while she was soyoung was the right decision for her.
“Yeah, well, I’m not most girls.”
“You’re right,” Frankie agreed seriously. “You’re somuch better.”
I returned my focus to my best friend of my entirelife and smiled at her. Besides Juliet, she was the only family I had left. Iwould be lost without her.
“This is why I keep you around,” I said. “I need youto boost my self-esteem before I leave the house.”
She rolled her eyes and pulled out her cell phone.“You keep me around because I babysit for free and order enough pizza for youto eat when you come home.”
“Those things are also true.” My smile died when thebuzzer once again blasted through the room. “Oh my God, that’s him.”
“You look hot, Caroline. Go have the best damn nightof your life.” She slapped my butt as I shuffled to Juliet. I let out a squeakwhile Jules laughed at our antics.
“I love you, munchkin. Be good for Aunt Francesca orshe’ll eat all of your pizza.”
“I’m always good for Aunt Francesca!” Juliet insisted.
“So it’s just me that gets the attitude?”
She smiled a smile that reminded me of my dad and Iimmediately wanted to lock her in her room for the rest of her life to save usall the trouble. “It’s just for you, Mommy. I know you love me the most.”
“This is true.” I kissed her nose and squeezed hertightly.
When the buzzer shrieked again, I reluctantly let hergo and grabbed the clutch I’d bought earlier today that went perfectly with mydress. I hadn’t had anything more than an old Target tote and a hiking backpacklying around my apartment. I knew Jesse wouldn’t mind if I showed up in jeans, anold T-shirt and a Duct tape wallet, but if I was going to do this, I was goingto do it right. No more hiding behind the single mom version of me. Or theblending into the wall version. Jesse had gotten to know me over the years,maybe not all of me, but enough to want to take me out on a date. So out ofrespect for him and our friendship and these real, but terrifying feelings Ihad for him, I was done hiding.
At least in the existential meaning of the word.
In every other area of my life, I was still very much,very necessarily hiding.
I jabbed the button with my freshly painted nail and said,“Be right down!” I didn’t give him a chance to respond before shouting “I loveyou” a few times at Juliet, then hurried through the door.
I cursed my heels on the ride down the elevator.Before Juliet, heels had been like second nature to me. I had lived in them.Now I was like a fawn just learning how to walk—Bambi ice skating with Thumper.My old self hovered over my shoulder, silently judging me.
The elevator doors opened and I had to take asteadying breath at the sight of Jesse waiting for me. He stood hoveringunderneath the awning outside, avoiding the light rain falling on this autumnColorado night.
I waved to Jesse when he caught sight of me throughthe clear glass. He shot me a bemused half-smile and I second-guessed thisdecision for the millionth time. What was I doing? I concentrated on nottripping on the wrinkled rug beneath my towering heels and leaned too hard onthe push bar.
The door flew open and I careened dangerously from thebuilding and would have face-planted on the rough concrete if Jesse’s largehands hadn’t been there to catch me.
“Whoa,” he murmured in that deep baritone drawl thathad drawn me to him the first time I met him. “Are you okay?”
I blinked up at him, trying to find the answer to thatquestion. His handsome face stared down at me in concern, but amusementtwinkled in his brown eyes. “Sorry,” I squeaked. “I’m a little unsteady inthese shoes.”
His eyes traveled the length of me, taking their timein a sweet kind of perusal. They finally found my shoes and one corner of hismouth kicked up in a crooked smile. “I can see why.”
“I haven’t worn heels in a long time,” I explainedunnecessarily.
“Do you want to change?”
