On Friday.
With someone who was not my husband.
Chapter Nineteen
I attacked Emma as soon as she walked in the door. “Oh, my god, he’s a psycho isn’t he? He has to be. That’s the only explanation!”
“Elizabeth Grace, what are you talking about?” My sister went white-faced at my panic attack. “Are you okay? Is everyone okay?” The kids swarmed her legs and demanded she pick them all up.
“Ben!” I shouted over them. “Ben is a psychopath! He has to be!”
“Wait.What?” She scoopedJaceup into her arms and bugged her eyes out at me. “What are you talking about?”
“Emma, I have had four children!Four of them! Do you understand the state of my vagina? What kind of man goes out on a date with a woman that hasfour children?”
“Oh,” she sighed. “You’re just panicking.”
“Of course, I’m panicking! What else would I be doing?” I took a second to catch my breath. “What have I done? I cannot go out with him. He’s got to have like a… a… fetish or something. Or maybe he’s not a lawyer at all. Maybe he’s a conman trying to steal all of Grady’s life insurance money. Or maybe-”
Emma cut me off, “I’m going to stop you right there. First, you know he’s a lawyer. And you know he’s not a liar. Well, or really mostly not a liar, because you know, it’s iffy when you’re a lawyer and… Anyway, I’ve been to his office! I can vouch for him. And he doesn’t really seem like the type to have a fetish. But hey, if he does, just go with it. It could be fun!”
“Emma!”
“Elizabeth,it’sone date. You can never talk to him again after this if you want. Or you can go back to being friends. Really, how is this any different than one of your wine nights? He comes over for dinner all the time. Just think of this like you two hanging out casually. He’ll bring you back home before you turn into a pumpkin and you’ll go to sleep in separate beds. This is no big deal.”
Emma’s words calmed me considerably. I took a slow breath and picked up Lucy to cuddle. Cuddling always gave me comfort.
“This is a date?” Blake asked with one eyebrow raised.
Shit. “No,” I said at the same time Emma said, “Yes.” I gave her another frightened look. “Don’t lie to them, Liz! Be honest.”
My sister, the grad school counselor.
But she was right. I didn’t want to lie to Blake or Abby. And I really didn’t want to have to come back later and explain myself.
“Emma’s right, Blake.This is a date. Ben asked me to go to dinner with him and I said yes.”
He absorbed the information and then with maturity I didn’t know he had in him, he said, “Cool.” I stared at his bouncing head as he moved back into the living room to pick up his game controller.
My gaze swung to Emma. “See?” she said. “I told you.”
“Mommy?”Abby asked and her face revealed more of the reaction I had expected.
I sunk to my knees in front of her, ignoring the cold press of the wood floor against my bare legs. “It’s just dinner, Abs. Ben asked mommy to go with him alone. He, um, he wants to spend time with me. Is that okay?”
“I like Ben,” she mumbled. “But…”
I found myself using Emma’s words on my daughter. “It’s just dinner, Sweetheart. If I come home and you don’t want me to do this again, I won’t. Okay?” That was probably the worst parenting ever, but I couldn’t help myself. I wouldn’t put my kids through another traumatic experience because I was too selfish to ignore my volatile feelings.
“You’re coming back tonight?”
I shivered at her question. “Yes, I’ll be home in a few hours.Promise.”
She threw her arms around my neck and kissed my cheek. “K!”
I stood up and faced my sister again. “Do I look okay?”
“You looksmokin’, sweet cheeks.” When I rolled my eyes, she gave my shoulder a little shove. “You’re gorgeous, I swear it. But how long are you going to make it in those heels? When’s the last time you even wore heels?”
