“Yep.”
“Why do you look so smug?”
“I don’t”
“You do.”
“You just continue to surprise me, that’s all,” he was still smiling. Bastard.
“Surprise you? You mean there isn’t a past partners file in your Ellie Harris dossier?”
“I’ve just been waiting for all the facts,” he teased. “Now I can finally update it.”
I rolled my eyes while he poured more sake into our glasses. I was starting to feel different and knew I needed to slow down. I drank alcohol before, so it wasn’t like I didn’t know what to expect. My parents always let us drink wine and champagne on major holidays, but I had never been drunk before. My blood felt very heated, my body completely relaxed. I was starting to imagine all kinds of scenarios with Fin and kissing and this countertop…. I definitely needed to slow down.
“What about you?” I asked, ready to get more of my Fin Hunter questions answered.
“We arenottalking about my sex life.”
I chuckled. “That is not what I meant. I would rather not have an updated file on your past partners. I meant, why are you so good? Where are your wild oats?”
“What makes you think I’m good? I run an illegal online gambling site, before y-“ he seemed to think better of whatever he was going to say because he cleared his throat and then continued, “Before a few weeks ago I didn’t exactly treat women with respect and we started out getting to know each other by you being terrified of me because I forced my way into your apartment and demanded a large sum of money. Why would you ever think I’m good?”
“Because you’re not any of those things,” I answered simply. “Ok, maybe you were scary at first, but you’re not anymore.”
“You don’t think I’m scary? I think I figured out why I don’t have my money yet.”
I shot him my most charming smile and took another drink. “No way, I don’t even think you’re trying anymore. Declan alone would be enough for me to think you’re amazing, but then there’s the grandma that you take care of. The track scholarship I know now was the only way for you to go to school and you picked a school close to home. Plus, these poker games are illegal but they’re fair and you make me do tedious research so you’re not ripping anybody off or allowing people to play that really shouldn’t be. And, you’ve always been a gentleman with me.”
He scoffed at that, “Really? I’ve been a gentleman with you? Like when I threw you against the wall over there, or had my way with you on the track the other night?” his voice dropped to that husky timber that made me shiver with desire.
I blushed thinking about him pressing me against his brick wall, or his lips kissing me in all those intimate places. Finally I whispered, “It wasn’t anything I didn’t want.”
Fin seemed stunned by my admission. He set his glass down next to him and walked in front of me, forcing my legs apart so he could stand in between them. The counter came up to just above his waist, so it was almost like I had my legs wrapped around him.
“Is that so?” he challenged.
I just nodded.
His eyes immediately ignited with a fire I wasn’t sure if I was ready to play with yet. I tried to scoot back, away from his body, away from this wicked things he was promising with his eyes. He took my glass out of my hand and I easily let it go. Setting it next to his on the counter, he returned his attention to me, with his fingers trailing up and down my jean clad thigh.
“I’ve never had a choice in my life but to be good, Ellie,” Fin explained casually, all the while electricity snapped and crackled between us. “I’ve had to make good decisions all my life because I’ve always had other people to take care of.”
I nodded, agreeing with what he was saying. It was true and my heart broke for the little kid Fin, the teenage Fin and the Fin in front of me that thought of everyone else but himself.
“I told you, you are good,” I whispered, my throat closed up with a mixture of anticipation and emotion.
“Good enough for you?” he asked in a rough voice. He looked up at me from underneath his thick eyelashes, his strong jaw ticking with some unnamed emotion. He looked vulnerable and…. hopeful.
But what could I tell him? This seemed impossible between us. He didn’t believe me about the debt, he didn’t trust me that I wasn’t the one that lost the money. Besides, he needed the money anyway, so it didn’t matter. And I’d already decided over and over again that my integrity was more important than a boy. No matter how much I wanted that boy.
I still found myself cupping his jaw with my hand, he was clean shaven and his skin was warm and smooth under my hand. “Finley Hunter, what a question.” I smiled down at him stalling. He was good enough for me; I didn’t want him to think that he wasn’t. Really I had been wondering lately ifIwas good enough forhim. But I couldn’t lead him on.
“I think you should have more sake.” He leaned into my hand looking pained and disappointed. “If you can’t answer that question the way I want you to, then you definitely need more sake.”
“You are good enough for me,” I said quickly so he wouldn’t think differently. “That’s never what’s stopped me.”
“One day you’re not going to be able to fall back on your excuses,” he pinned me with his gaze, holding me paralyzed with just a look. This boy had power over me he didn’t even realize.
