“Ah.” He stood up and walked over to me. I handed him the bottle so he could look over it. “This will be fun.” He was grinning ear to ear, his eyes gleaming devilishly.
“Why’s that?” I was suddenly suspicious.
“Because you’re going to hate it.”
He turned around and walked into the kitchen. I followed him already nervous for this. He opened the bottle immediately and then poured a small amount of the clear liquid into two tumblers. Handing me my own glass, he raised it in a toast.
“Happy birthday, Ellie,” he smiled down at me and clinked our glasses.
“Thank you.” And then we both took a sip.Holy cow!I came up sputtering. I was not expecting that burn, or the shocking sweetness.
He watched me amused as I struggled through the flavor. “Oh gosh, I’m not sure I like that.”
“Sure you do,” he laughed and poured a little more into my glass. “The more you drink, the better it will taste, I promise.”
I rolled my eyes at him. “Such sage wisdom. Just as long as you don’t try to get me drunk.”
“I have a feeling it wouldn’t take much,” He observed dryly.
“Shut it,” I warned and then took a much, much smaller drink.
His lips were twitching so I didn’t think he took my warning very seriously. “Ellie Harris, the first person ever that doesn’t want to get drunk on her twenty-first birthday. Have you always been this good of a kid?” he asked and got comfortable leaning up against the counter.
I set my glass aside for a moment, cleared a space on the counter and hopped up next to him. We were close, but we weren’t touching so I felt safe enough to relax. Picking up my glass again I took another sip. The burn wasn’t as bad this time, and the warm, sticky sweet taste of the sake went down much easier.
“Always,” I finally admitted. From this vantage point I had the rare opportunity to look down at Fin. He usually towered over me, but this was kind of nice. And it was also kind of nice to just be relaxing with him. As far as birthdays went, this one was good. “My parents have always had high expectations for me and I haven’t ever wanted to disappoint them. It’s probably silly, but between them and my brothers I haven’t had a lot of breathing room to be anything but good.”
“But they’re not in charge of your life now. Don’t you have any wild oats to sow?” he was smiling at me as if he already knew the answer.
I still said, “Not really. I’ve never really wanted to get drunk all the time or sleep around. Mostly I just want independence. More than anything I want for my family to stop hovering so much.”
“What about Colton? What was that?” His tone had gone dead, like he hated talking about Colton.
“Colton? I don’t know what he was. He was like…. a fluke,” I laughed bitterly. “I guess I wanted something of my own. Something to get me away from my family. We dated a long time but nothing really came out of it. We said ‘I love you’ but neither of us meant it.”
“He must have meant something to you, if you dated him for that long,” Fin pressed.
I shrugged. I had actually started to wonder that too. If maybe I wasn’t remembering him right because I was hurt over our breakup. We did have a sweet relationship when I was honest with myself and he was a good boyfriend a lot of the time, especially when we were in high school. I wondered if I wanted to remember it worse than it was so I wouldn’t have to hurt. I did know I never loved him. Looking back on the relationship now it just seemed really immature. Our breakup would have been inevitable whether he cheated or not.
“Oh, were you guys,” Fin paused to clear his throat, suddenly looking uncomfortable.
“Were we what?”
He visibly gathered courage before he asked, “Were you uh, sleeping together?”
“Oh my gosh! Fin!” I was going to die of embarrassment. What kind of question was that? “You cannot ask me that!”
He blushed,actually blushed. “Yeah, you’re right. Sorry, of course you were.”
“Please, stop,” I groaned letting my face fall into my hands. “Colton and I werenotsleeping together. Ok, would you drop it?”
“You weren’t?” His head popped up and he looked at me with wide eyes. “You dated him for three years. Youhad tohave been sleeping together.”
“Ok, stop right there. Before you tarnish my reputation anymore,” I paused for another itty bitty drink of the sake and then continued. “I told we, we might have said ‘I love you’ but we didn’t love each other. And that’s not something I just give away to anybody. When I finally decide to you know,” I cleared my throat. This was more awkward than when I had the sex talk withmy mom. “When I finally decide to have sex it will be on my terms, with someone really special. Someone I really do love.”
Fin seemed floored by my little speech, “So you haven’t had sex with anybody?”
“No! Now can we drop it?”
