“The Ginga Ninja!” he shouted in my ear.
“Hey, kid,” I murmured against his chest. “How ya been?”
He pulled back and looked down at me. His intelligent eyes moved over my face and down my body. I watched him pass approval over me, as if he expected a drug problem or some kind of physical deformity.
His eyes melted into compassion and his voice gentled when he said, “I’m good, Ives. You okay?”
“Can we talk actually?”
“Of course.” He didn’t hesitate; he turned me around by the shoulders and pushed me up the stairs. To his parents he said, “I’m taking a girl to my room. Nobody bother me.”
“Be safe!” yelled his father.
“Use a condom!” shouted his mother.
I felt my face flame with embarrassment. I shot a look at Phoenix over my shoulder and he rolled his eyes.
“I told you,” he mumbled. “At least they didn’t offer you a hit off their community bong.”
I laughed and it turned into something more. I reached the top of the steps and had to brace myself against the wall because I was laughing so hard I couldn’t make a sound or catch my breath.
It felt so good. I couldn’t remember the last time I had laughed like this or let myself find something funny. I had been melancholy and depressed for as long as I had been alive, butthiswas something to laugh at.
The feeling bubbled through me and consumed my body whole. Phoenix continued to guide me to his room where I collapsed on the edge of his bed and wiped away tears.
“It’s not that funny!” he chided on a grin.
“It’s super funny,” I argued.
It took me another minute to get myself under control. Phoenix sunk down next to me and rested his elbows on his lanky knees. He looked just like I remembered him plus a few days of stubble.
“What happened to you, Ivy?” He’d lost all of the good humor from a few minutes ago. I hated the notes of sadness in his voice… the tone of betrayal. I hadn’t even said goodbye to Phoenix last fall.
“I’m in trouble,” I said honestly. “I need a place to crash for the night. I was hoping you wouldn’t turn me away?”
“Of course you can stay here. That’s never a question. But I want to know what happened. Where did you go? Where have you been? Why did you take my bro’s heart and toss it into a blender? You murdered his soul, Ivy. I need some kind of explanation.”
“Geez, Phoenix.” I rubbed my sweaty palms on the maxi skirt I’d been wearing for way too long. Sitting on this bed and not feeling the constant surge of anxiety I’d suffered from for the last forty-eight hours, I suddenly realized how tired I was. The plane here had been long and exhausting and ever since my feet landed on Nebraska soil again, there had been one thing after another.
I needed sleep.
But I also owed Phoenix at least part of an explanation. I couldn’t tell him everything, but I could give him enough answers to ease his curiosity.
“I come from a really bad home,” I started on a sigh. “Like really bad, Phoenix. Like nothing you’ve ever heard of before.”
“You were abused?” He snapped upright, his fists clenched on his thighs.
“Yes.” The word fell from my mouth as a heavy rock, landing in the space between us. I wanted to take it back, swallow it down and bury it forever. That was hard for me to admit to someone else, to someone like Phoenix, who complained about his own home life, but who also had it pretty good in comparison. “I was abused.”
“How, Ivy? Physically? Verbally? Emotionally…?” His voice trailed off and I heard his final question left unspoken:Sexually?
“Yes,” I answered. “All of those.”
He grimaced, a fierce sound scraping from his chest. “Why didn’t you tell anyone?”
“I did,” I whispered. “I told Ryder.”
He was quiet for a few moments until he said, “That explains a lot actually.”
