"Yes!" agreed Mr. Vane.
Now I have seen a true complete idiot, I will never defame Darcy as one again.
"I would not have the least idea of how to go about committing treason, even if I wanted to. I don't know anyone who would buy that sort of information."
"You see, that is where you are wrong, dear brother-in-law. You in fact could have counted two such people among your acquaintance at the time. Not anymore. They have been quietly dealt with. The masses do love to watch a traitor dance on air, however sometimes we find it best not to make a show of it. Sometimes it is better if such people have very strange riding accidents or suffer sudden fatal gastric attacks, despite being young, hearty and not it all prone to bilious stomach. Thorn in the saddle. Bad oysters. It could happen to anyone. Even you."
"James!" scolded Rebecca.
"I didn't know!" Mr. Vane wailed. "You must believe me, I didn't know!"
"Having one such person in your acquaintance might be called a coincidence, but two?"
"Tell him I would never, Constance," begged Mr. Vane, "We were acquainted with everyone back then! We had parties every week."
"Parties you could ill afford," said James.
"I was a fool with money, I will well admit, but I was not a traitor."
"Why did you not tell me of this?" Mrs. Vane, asked turning to her brother.
"He agreed to run off and play dead. I saw no point in giving you more pain by telling you what I suspected," James replied with a shrug.
"You knew my husband wasn't dead and you didn't tell me?"
James appeared shocked by his sister's ire. Here we have another perfect example of a complete and total idiot. I cannot believe I ever thought my husband was the worst.
"You didn't really believe he was dead!"
"No, but I didn't know for certain. Youknewand you kept that information to yourself."
"I was trying to protect you!"
"It is not your duty to protect me!"
"I beg your pardon, but yes it is!"
"Think of your nieces—I've had to tell my daughters their father is dead."
"Oooh."
"Dead is a far sight better than being a traitor!"
“Owww.”
"I am not a traitor!"
"Do be quite, Henry!" "Shut up, Vane!"
"Ooooooooooh!" This cry finally got the attention of the rest of the room. Darcy and I had already gone to Rebecca's side.
"Lizzy, I'm so sorry, I think I've ruined your chair," the lady whispered through panting breaths as she tightly grasped my hand. The chair was quite saturated. I think she had sprung more than a little leak this time. More loudly she said, "James, the baby is coming."
"The baby—yes, right—I will call the carriage, we will return home at once," said James, all evidence of wrath draining from his features.
"There is no time to return home. The baby is coming—presently."
With much exasperation Mrs. Vane said, "Of course she cannot go home, James. Fitzwilliam, carry her to a room at once."
