Ever since he had left Mr. Jones’ ranch, he had quietly prayed to God, asking Him to let His will be done in His life and in Cora’s, and to give Him some sign as to whether he should continue to pursue Cora’s heart, or whether he should make peace with the fact that Cora was destined to be Alfred Mills’ wife. He prayed that God would give him peace either way.
The silence of the night was suddenly broken by the creaking of the gate. Confused who would be here at this time of night, Roy went to the edge of the porch to find Cora standing in the entrance. Her face was flushed, as if she had been running, and her long golden hair was matted against the sweat on her face. Even in this frazzled state, Roy thought she was the most beautiful woman in the world.
Roy started to ask her what she was doing there, but before he could say a word, Cora was running toward him, throwing herself into his arms and pressing her lips to his.
Roy didn’t move at first, his body frozen in shock, but as soon as he realized what was happening, he reciprocated the kiss, matching her intensity. In that moment, the world tipped on its axis and then stopped spinning altogether. Nothing else mattered other than the two of them and that moment.
He rested his hands on her back, just beneath her shoulder blades where his hands found the soft ends of her hair, and he wove his fingers into it, allowing them to become tangled in her locks that had become unruly from her run. He wanted to stay in this moment forever, without questioning what escalated her to this point, but as they kissed, her teardrops began to fall on his lips.
The salty sensation jolted Roy back to reality; he realized that whatever brought her to this impulsive moment was the result of distress. It took every ounce of self-control in his body to pull back, but he would not—could not—take advantage of a moment of vulnerability.
Roy put his hands on Cora’s shoulders and gently pushed her back, holding her at arm’s length.
“Cora…” Roy said, his voice raspy as he allowed his brain to catch up to his heart.
“I can’t marry that man, Roy,” Cora said, her voice choked through tears.
“Iwon’tmarry him.”
“Something happened tonight, and it’s upset you,” Roy said this as a statement of fact rather than a question.
“He doesn’t love me, Roy,” Cora wept, furiously wiping away at her tears just for new ones to come and take their place. “He just views me as a brood mare, someone who can give him beautiful babies. And he’s never even going to be around to raise the babies with me. He’s going to be away on ‘business,’ leaving me all alone. I don’t want to be alone, Roy. I want to be cared for and loved. That’s all I’ve ever wanted.”
Roy pulled Cora into his arms—an embrace that he told himself was strictly friendly, a comfort between one friend to another and nothing more. He shushed her softly. “Tell me where all this is coming from, Cora,” Roy said once her crying had subsided.
Cora pulled out of Roy’s arms, wiped her eyes, and then told him about the evening tea with Violet Mills. She told him about her insistence that she and Alfred have children as soon as possible to carry on the Mills family line, which Roy thought confirmed what Philip Hawthorne had told him earlier. She told him about what she had learned about Alfred’s father, and how all the signs pointed toward Alfred following in his father’s unfaithful footsteps.
“I won’t marry him, Roy. I’ll run away before I marry him. I’ll hop on train cars and live on the streets. I’ll do whatever it takes. But I won’t marry him.”
Roy didn’t blame her one bit, and all he wanted to do was protect her from this sorry excuse for a man. He took a deep breath before asking his next question.
“Whatdoyou want, Cora?”
Cora held her answer in her eyes, but he wanted—needed—to hear her say it.
“I want you, Roy,” she said quietly.
Roy wanted to take Cora into his arms, to stroke her velvety hair and tell her that he wanted her too. But before he could do that, he had to make sure she understood what was at stake. No matter what he wanted, he couldn’t be selfish—love wasn’t selfish.
“I know you’re upset, Cora,” Roy said, keeping his voice steady. “And I don’t blame you one bit for not wanting to marry Alfred. I’m not saying that I know what the answer is, but you need to know what you are getting into if you choose me. Because I can’t offer you even half of the financial security that Alfred can. What I’m about to do, sell all this land and buy this ranch, it’s a huge risk. And I can’t risk the thought of not being able to provide for you six months or a year down the road. You deserve so much better than that.”
“You are such a fool, Roy Burns!” Cora yelled as she stamped her foot, and Roy’s eyes widened at her sudden outburst. “How do you not see that I don’t care about wealth or material possessions? Those things haveneverbeen important to me. All I have ever wanted from the time I was a little girl was to fall in love with a godly man, someone who would help me grow in my relationship with the Lord, and I would do the same for him. I want to spend the rest of my life growing old with that person.”
Roy felt like he had been punched in the gut and all the wind had been knocked out of him. He thought he knew what she wasn’t saying, but he needed to hear her say it directly, without any reservation.
“And you think that person is me?” Roy asked, his tone betraying his breathless feeling. “Would you consider me godly?”
Cora lifted her lashes that still held remnants of tears, like dewdrops on the early morning grass. Beneath them her blue eyes were vulnerable but resolute.
“Yes, I would. I might not have seen that when I first met you that day in Wheats Ridge, because I believed you had left home to run away from God. And maybe you had, but I see now that you never really lost your faith, it just got buried under so much hurt. Now when I look at you, and the church you rebuilt with your own hands, I see a man of God with a servant’s heart.” Cora paused, breathing in deeply before continuing. “And I haven’t been okay without you, Roy. Ever since the night of the fair, I’ve been a dysfunctional, out of sorts mess without my best friend.”
Roy swallowed hard at the understanding that the last couple of weeks had been just as miserable for her as they had been for him. He was both elated that she felt the same way and heartbroken that she had endured so much pain. Roy raised his palm to Cora’s cheek, brushing away streaks of tears and strands of hair with his thumb.
“Cora, the truth is… I love you with my whole heart, and I have never felt this way about anyone else in my entire life. But it’sbecauseI love you that I need you to know exactly what you would be giving up if you choose me. I can’t guarantee you the financial security that someone like Alfred can offer you. I can’t even guarantee the state of my financial affairs a year from now.” Roy paused, his heart pounding in his chest as he prepared himself to ask the next question. “Are you okay with giving all of that up?”
Cora didn’t answer with words. Instead, she leaned into him, resting her head on his chest with her arms wrapped around him. It wasn’t lost on Roy how perfectly she fit into his arms, as if God Himself had assigned them each their respective heights with this moment in mind. The top of her head fit perfectly beneath his chin.
“I love you, too, Roy,” she whispered into his shirt. “And I believe with all my heart that God will provide for us everything we will ever need.”
