Everything will be fine, my love. You’ll see. You just need time—
No,Trudie said as she rose, showing the most conviction she had in weeks.I don’t want more time, and I don’t want to wait and see.Mark stood slowly, and he tried to take Trudie’s hands, but she pushed his hands away.I don’t want to be here anymore, Mark.
What—what do you mean?he stammered, his words stuck in his throat.
Resolutely, she stared back at him and spoke in a quiet voice.I’m leaving, Mark.I can’t handle this.She gestured around the room.I struggled when Heath was born early. I wasn’t ready, and I felt like I needed more time to prepare. But then, we learned he was blind.A sob escaped her throat.How am I ever to be a good mother to him? Somedays, I feel like I can’t even get out of bed. I can’t stay here, Mark. I’m not good for him or for you. I have to leave.
No,he had said quickly, again holding out his hands, but to stop her from leaving the room. She shook her head vigorously and tried to sidestep around him. He hindered her, using his large frame to block the doorway.You can’t leave, Trudie. I love you, and your son loves you. We need you.
No,Trudie spoke harshly.I can’t stay here. I can’t be in this house one more minute.I just feel so guilty.Her hands trembled, and Mark worried that she was going to burst into tears once more. As he stepped away from the door to comfort her, she lunged away and raced down the stairs.
Trudie! Wait!Mark called as he flew after her. He was much taller, so he took bigger strides, but she was determined.
As they barreled down the stairs, Heath stirred in his cradle and wailed. Trudie shrieked as she raised her hands to cover her ears. Mark hesitated as he worried that they might’ve woken the baby.
Trudie pushed open the front door and ran out into the yard. Mark didn’t know if he should chase after his wife or if he should go to the baby.
He hung his head as he checked on Heath. Lifting the baby from his cradle, he tried to make soothing sounds, but Heath kept right on crying. Exasperated, Mark walked to the front door. The cool night air nipped at him, and the child stopped crying.
Seems we all needed a breath of fresh air,Mark said, patting Heath on the back gently. He stood on the porch and watched as Trudie ran down the path and around the bend.She’ll be back soon, Heath. Don’t you worry. Your mama just needs a minute to herself.
Mark forced himself to shake away from the memory, as he couldn’t bear to recall it. Over those next few days, he had a miserable existence as he waited for his wife to come home. He spent many hours praying for her safe return, but it had all been for naught. Trudie never came back, and Mark was certain he would never lay eyes on her again.
Putting his head down on his desk, he let the cool, polished wood soothe him. He was exhausted by the events of the evening and from reliving one of his most painful memories. As he sat there, trying to find the strength to pick up his head and do some work, he heard Layla’s footsteps overhead.
He could tell that she was with Heath in his room, and guilt washed over him once more. He could have helped with preparing Heath for bed. Ever since she had come into the house, Layla had done this uncomplainingly, and the first time she asked for his assistance, he had denied her and attacked her beliefs.
Mark shook his head sadly as he rose from his desk chair. He went up the stairs, careful to tread lightly. When he got to Heath’s green bedroom door, it was ajar, so he leaned his head against the wood, listening for Layla’s voice.
“Jesus loves me, this I know; for the Bible tells me so …” Layla sang softly, making Mark edge back from the door.
She is still so strong in her faith. Mark marveled at Layla’s perseverance.
“Little ones to Him belong; they are weak, and He is strong,” Layla continued to sing sweetly.
Sighing heavily, he walked to his own bedroom. He decided that he would forget about working for the rest of the evening; he needed to take some time to reflect on his situation, and maybe, just maybe, he would think about the things God had given him, rather than the ones He had taken away.
Chapter Twelve
Layla’s whole body and soul ached. Not only had she spent many hours carrying Heath around in the sling, but her interaction with Mark was disastrous.
I know what needs to be done,Layla chided herself.I know how Mark feels about meals; I should have kept better track of the time.The enormity of the situation crushed her. Layla wanted to be a good wife and a suitable caregiver to Heath. Seeing her father earlier in the day reminded Layla of just how much difference she could make.
Her shoulders slumped heavily when she realized that she had left her Bible in Heath’s bedroom but thought twice about going back for it. She wanted to understand Mark’s perspective—really, she did—but it was difficult. He was so quick to anger, and while he mentioned his concern for her and the baby when they didn’t come home, the situation should have been handled differently. Figuring she probably wouldn’t run into Mark for the rest of the evening, Layla crept back to Heath’s room, grabbed her Bible from the nightstand, and moved just as quietly back to her own room.
Breathing a sigh of relief, she sunk into the rocking chair Mark brought up into her room. He must have noticed that she often read in her room and figured she would need a more comfortable spot. Small gestures like that made Layla think Mark had kindness in him. But she couldn’t deny that his temper was tough to handle. Shaking her head, she realized she might never be able to comprehend his actions or the way his attitude could alter in the blink of an eye.
Layla opened her Bible to the book of Exodus. As she did when she was extremely vexed, she read through the Ten Commandments. Seeing those familiar verses always strengthened her resolve and reminded her of how to behave, even when times were tough. When she read the fifth commandment, ‘Honor thy father and thy mother,’ Layla stopped.
She groaned. “I’m trying. I got myself into this situation because I wanted to honor my father, but if Mark should be dissatisfied with me … then what happens? Would he send me back home? Would he force my father to forfeit his store and home?” A shiver crept up her spine as she thought of how disgraced she would feel if Mark asked her to leave. Even worse, she pictured Heath’s darling little face. It hurt to think that she might never see that lovely boy again if she left this house.
Without finishing the rest of the commandments, Layla flipped the pages and stopped in Colossians. From chapter four, she read, “‘Live wisely among those who are not believers and make the most of every opportunity.Let your conversation be gracious and attractive so that you will have the right response for everyone.’” Layla put her finger down to hold her spot.
Seems like these were the words I needed to read tonight.She thought of the things Mark said about believing in God and felt very sorry for him.It’s not that he doesn’t believe in God, I don’t think, Layla thought.It’s more that he feels like God does not take care of those who believe in him.Layla grimaced.
It was a tough concept to handle. No one could explain why terrible things happened to others, so Layla would never be capable of helping Mark see that his disappointments and fears were without merit.
But people who believed in Jesus Christ and His unconditional love for them knew that life was not without its trials. They must try to see the best in all situations.
