He walked out of the study slowly and wandered the corridors of the castle for the next several hours, considering his options.
Who was he without his fealty to the Oliphant Clan?
That question was foremost on his mind, for he had defined himself entirely by that distinction his entire adult life. That loyalty, that sense of duty, had been meat and drink and man and wife to him. It had kept him warm during cold nights when he was patrolling the outskirts of the Oliphant lands, and when his lack of family made the silence of his quarters all the more penetrating at the end of each day, it had kept his loneliness at bay.
Now, however, he did not need to be alone any longer. He had found someone who knew how to reach inside him and stoke a warm fire in the hearth of his heart.
Could he simply be that, then? Could he spend the rest of his days as nothing more than the man beloved by Katherine McGregor, and forsake all other sense of identity?
And most of all, could he manage such a thing acting on his own, without being able to depend upon the support of his guardsmen and the full backing of his own adopted clan? Or would any effort to liberate her be doomed to failure?
Bryan had no way of answering the second question.
The answer to the first, however, was inescapable. Yes. He could live as nothing but Katherine’s husband and be happier for it. He had given years of faithful service to the Oliphants, and could now have a life of his own outside of them without feeling like a man guilty of abandoning his post.
All it would take to achieve such a blessed existence would be to find a way to break into the McGregor Stronghold, sneak into the dungeons, foil whatever locks and iron bars Katherine was trapped behind, and spirit her off into the night without beingstopped by any sentries or other McGregors—and all without the aid of any other sworn Oliphant soldiers.
Most importantly, he would have to steal off on his own to do all of this, without breathing a word of it even to his most trusted men.
He realized that in his meanderings he had found his way into the courtyard, and now he looked up at the faces of those men whom he’d trained over the years, the dozens whom he’d helped transform from uncertain young farm boys into sharpened spears in the service of their clan. They all had their different strengths and vulnerabilities, and he knew that he would count himself fortunate to have any one of them at his side for the endeavor to come.
What would they think of him tomorrow, when they discovered that he had slipped away to pursue his own destiny without them? Not only had he left them without the benefit of his leadership, but he’d done so in the name of his love for one of their most hated enemies. In doing so, he might, in fact, be opening them up to a not-unprovoked attack from those same foes.
For would Angus believe that Bryan was acting on his own, if the former Oliphant captain was caught in the act?
Perhaps not.
In which case, Bryan would not merely be following the dictates of his own heart. Rather, he would be risking the welfare of the entire Oliphant Clan in the process. Could he live with that, if such a dreadful thing came to pass?
Aye, he thought grimly.Knowing that of all the men of this clan, I am the one whose skills make him most likely to succeed at such an enterprise. Knowing that if I dinnae make the attempt, the only woman I have ever truly loved will rot in a cell just like the ones that turn my stomach beneath this very castle.
Given how quick and quiet I can be when I wish to be; given my chances of success, I can take that risk.
I must.
So he peered up at the faces of those comrades in arms, knowing that he might never look upon them again. He summoned all his courage, and told himself that there was honor in riding to Katherine’s rescue; honor enough to sponge away the disgrace of leaving his sworn post.
Then he proceeded to the stables with a determined stride.
21
Arat skittered across the stone floor between Katherine’s feet.
The first few times this had happened, Katherine had recoiled with a shriek; even jumped up onto the narrow bench of rotted planks affixed to the wall, hoping it could not follow her there.
But every time, the rat had simply gazed up at her with its moist black eyes and twitched its whiskers inquisitively for several moments before continuing on its way.
Eventually, Katherine’s revulsion was replaced with a sort of dazed curiosity. The next time the rodent visited her, she did not react; indeed, she stayed as perfectly still as possible, hoping not to disturb the creature so that she might observe him more closely.
It was as close to any connection to another living creature as she supposed she might expect for the foreseeable future.
She could not be certain how much time had passed since her father had ordered her imprisoned, but it seemed to her that at least a day and night had gone by. She had sat alone in near-total darkness that entire time. A rusty hatch at the bottom of theheavy iron door squealed open every now and then, and a tray of wilted greens, tough meat, and stale bread was shoved through.
No visitors, though.
Katherine imagined that her mother was too incapacitated with one of her blasted “headaches,” and that it was likely Romilly had been forbidden to come see her by their father. She had hoped that her sister might defy the order, though, and was disappointed that she had not thus far. None of her former servants had looked in on her, and she could not blame them for being timid in the face of Laird Angus’s wrath.
Would anyone come to tell her of the weather outside; whether the sun was shining on the fields of golden heather she and Romilly used to play in as children, or if the McGregor lands were being drenched by torrents of rain?
