“It makes sense. I’m glad, ok, Emmy?”
“Cass—”
“Can you leave me alone now? I’m sick of you hovering.”
I texted Luke to say thank you, and that the delivery driver had spruced up the car. I was so nervous driving it that I almost had an anxiety attack on the way to Whitaker Elementary. “Charlie!” I yelled out of the window. He would never recognize me in this rig.
He walked slowly over to the Porsche. “Emmy, how did you get this car?”
“Pal, don’t worry. I didn’t steal it. It’s Luke’s. We’re just borrowing it.”
He started to get into the front, and I hooked my thumb at the back door. “Emmy!”
We waited for Darby, whose eyes bugged out when she saw the grey SUV. “Wow, Emmy, is this your boyfriend’s car?” She sighed. “I wish I had a boyfriend.”
“Get your MBA and buy your own Porsche,” I advised her.
∞
“Cassie?” It was quiet upstairs. “I’m home!” It had been a much better day. Knowing that I had reliable transportation took a huge burden off me. I was trying to work through the nerves that we would scratch/dent/ding it; despite my anxiety,it was a dream to drive. Cassie had been up most of the night before but this morning’s treatment had seemed to go ok. She had gone to the hospital without complaint, and had been very quiet afterwards, only opening her mouth to tell me to go to work and leave her alone. So I thought she was feeling better.
It was Wednesday. Day two after the Departure of Mike. Countdown minus three days to the Return of Luke. He was on his way to Liechtenstein, which I had been reading about and informing Charlie of. Charlie, oddly, was not very interested in my explanation of a constitutional monarchy, preferring to search the app store on my new phone for free games. There was no swim practice, so he had gone to his friend Rocco’s house to play.
I felt in a good enough mood to I face the mail. I took the bundle from the tilting mailbox and walked up the stairs to the second floor, checking through the envelopes. A gardening catalog, addressed to Nana. Maybe Cassie would want to look at it. Bill, bill, overdue, overdue, service disconnection notice. Oh, no. I involuntarily clutched the envelopes in my hand, then made myself relax my fist. First things first.
“Cass?” I whispered, as I opened the door. I didn’t want to wake her if she was asleep. She was lying on her side, facing the window. It seemed so still in the room. “Cassie?” I said louder.
Her eyes were open, and a trail of vomit led from her mouth onto the coverlet. I reached out my hand for her shoulder. “Cassie? Cassie?” my voice wavered out. “Cassie!”
The new bottle of pain medication was empty on the bedside table, and an empty water glass sat beside it. “Cassie!” I said again. “Cassie!” I shook her shoulder desperately. “Cassie, Cassie!” I felt for a carotid pulse and there was nothing. Herskin was cold.
I realized that I was on my knees next to the bed, my hands on both her shoulders, shaking her back and forth, screaming. My ears were ringing. I let go, and stood, and walked stiffly across the mail I had dropped to find my phone downstairs.
“Cherry County Hospital, Pediatric Unit.”
“May I please speak with Tara Mendoza? This is an emergency.”
“Just a moment, please, I’ll find her.”
Tara picked up the phone out of breath. “Darby? Diego?”
“Tara, it’s Emily. Nothing’s wrong with Darby or Diego.” My voice sounded flat and funny.
“Oh shit, Emmy, you scared me so much! The charge nurse came running to get me. What’s wrong?”
“I just found Cassie. I think she OD’d.”
“Hang up right now. I’ll call 911,” she ordered me.
“No, Tara—it’s too late. I just, I don’t know what to do now. Who am I supposed to call? Loretta died in hospice. I’m not sure what to do.” I was amazed at my calm voice.
“Oh, honey, oh no. I’m coming, ok? I’m on my way. I know what to do, ok?”
“Ok, thanks, Tara.”
I put down the phone and wandered outside. I had to go get Charlie soon, but I thought it would be better to let him play and have fun while he could. I sat on the steps, and rested myhead against the railing, then picked up the phone again.
“Hi Luke, it’s Emmy. I just wanted to talk to you for a minute. I just—” my voice broke and I cleared my throat. “Call me when you get a chance.”
