More importantly, I want her interactions with me to be real, not just an act. I want her to want me. I want the relationship to be real.
It’s not an impossible task, but I can’t force it like I tried to do last night. I have to take things slow. It’s possible I can convince Gray to date me for real, but it’s going to take time and patience.
Gray
Ash is quiet on the ride back to Connecticut, and I get the impression he’s lost in thought.
All in all, the trip to meet his family was a success. Ash seemed genuinely happy to see his parents and sisters, even if he did butt heads occasionally with Inga. He also managed to avoid giving her a definite answer about whether or not he was bringing me to the wedding, although he told me he thought it might be fun to go together.
After we left his parents’ house, he took me to several wineries in the area. He didn’t do much sampling himself, and when I asked him about it, he admitted to having a headache from drinking the night before.
People think it’s the sulfites in wine that give them headaches, but sulfites are just a preservative found in lots of foods. For most wine drinkers, it’s actually a flavonoid in red wine that affects them because of its abundance in the grape skins. Or sometimes it’s the tannins and histamines. Either way, Ash likely has a sensitivity.
I’m lost in thought myself most of the drive. Something about the discussion with Ash’s family nags at me, but I can’t put my finger on what.
“You okay?”
I snap to attention at Ash’s voice. He glances over at me as he drives, and I smile back at him.
“I was going to ask you the same,” I tell him. “You’ve been quiet.”
“Just thinking,” he says.
“About what?” I ask, then add, “If you feel like telling me.”
He’s quiet a moment before he answers. “I’m thinking about this whole fake dating thing.”
My face falls. Is he regretting the plan already?
“What about it?” I ask casually.
He shrugs. “Just thinking how complicated it is. Some people know it’s fake, like the team, but others think it’s real, like my parents.”
Guilt grips me. “I’m sorry about your family. Do you really have to lie to them? Can’t you tell them the truth?”
He chuckles. “Honestly, I don’t really want to. As long as they think I’m dating someone, Inga won’t try to set me up with one of her friends at the wedding.”
I raise a brow. “Ah. Well…you’re welcome?”
He chuckles again. “Yeah. Sorry you had to get off your dating apps.” His tone turns sarcastic. “I mean, it seemed like you were having so much fun going out with those guys.”
I roll my eyes and huff a laugh. “Right. It’s sad that my fake dates have gone so much better than my real ones.”
“You’re welcome?” he says, mimicking me from a moment ago.
I smile. “I’m just too old and jaded for this bullshit.”
He scoffs. “Thirty is hardly old.”
“Just too jaded then.”
A few moments of silence slide by before Ash speaks again.
“If you think about it, we’re still getting most of the benefits of real dating,” he says.
I look at him. “Like?”
“Like someone to talk to and spend time with. And the occasional kissing and touching isn’t bad, right?” he says.
