She nodded once, seriously, and if not for the situation, her seriousness coupled with her bloodhigh it would have been amusing. As it was, it was simply another bewildering action. She turned and opened the compartment door.
“Where are you going?” I asked her, trying to stand up.
“Sit,” she commanded, turning dizzyingly fast to give the command. I stopped trying to stand and sank back into the seat.
“Good. Stay,” she continued as if speaking to a dog. “I’m giving you the space that you obviously require,” she answered me and left, the door sliding shut behind her.
A lump formed in my throat. The compartment was suddenly silent; it felt somehow bigger, colder, and I was abandoned. Suddenly, I wanted her to reassure me, to explain herself, to make everything I was feeling disappear. But she wouldn’t give me what I needed. She wouldn’t even allow our bond to fully form. She claimed to love me, and I had believed her. I wanted to believe her. But now I didn’t know if it was true. Could I even trust her anymore? I felt sick—and not from exhaustion, lack of blood and use of my magic. I wanted to trust in Selene, but the doubt that had grown within me felt like it would kill me.
8. It’s Cold in Here
Persephone Flores
The sleeper compartment wasn’t much of a sleeping space. In the overhead shelves, I found sheets, pillows, and a couple of blankets. I had seen the edge of a blanket hanging slightly over the side and pulled it down to wrap around myself as I curled up on the long seating, making myself as small as possible. My body shook from tears and cold. I began to fear that Selene would never come back.
How had everything gone so horribly wrong? Everything had been good—or at least, as good as could be expected after the summer. Selene had promised to forego all suitors, declaring her love and intentions to be with me. I thumbed the ring on the chain around my neck, a show of her promise. The metal and stone felt cold on my skin.
Sure, the tension between Ana and me—created by Harris no longer attending the Academy and her growing dislike for Selene—wasn’t something I was happy about, but I was sure we would overcome it in time. Harris and even Dylan wouldn’t be despised by Selene forever. She was hot-headed and quick-tempered, but she wasn’t beyond reason. She hadn’t harmed Dylan—only sent him home and barred Viridis from the Academy. Ana wouldn’t be at Sanguis Academy forever; she would be reunited with Harris eventually, and I thought that, eventually she would see the good in Selene too.
I knew the King probably wasn’t happy that his only child and heir was refusing to follow the regarding marriage, but Selene hadn’t spoken of any trouble. She had only mentioned that she had informed her father of her intentions.
Thinking of Selene’s father made me cry harder. I hadn’t seen my own father or Rosemary since my birthday in the summer. I wondered if Rosemary had given birth yet. Was my brother with us now? What was his name? Surely, they would have gotten word to me if he had arrived. Selene would have told me. I hoped.
I missed my family, my village, my people, but they weren’t mine anymore. They hadn’t been since the spring, and now winter was here. I felt alone—perhaps truly alone for the first time in my life.
Everything came crumbling down so easily. All it took was one display of my new magic and everything fell around me.
Back home, we knew the importance of strong foundations—using crushed seashells, sand, clay, and water to create a strong, solid mixture, which we poured between wooden plank cribbing filled with rocks. It made foundations that prevented our homes from sinking in the sand.
I was ignorant to the fact that the foundations of my life at Sanguis Academy were so fragile. That my soul match bond was just fragile. So weak that Selene refused to allow the bond to truly form. So weak that she would risk everything without consulting me—only to abandon me when I protested.
I was so exhausted from everything that had happened and overwhelmed with sorrow, I fell asleep while crying.
*
Selene must have returned while I slept. She sat at the small folding desk beneath the window, reading letters. Every now and then, she let out a quiet growl.
The overhead light was off, leaving only a dim side lamp above Selene to illuminate the room.
For a while, I just watched her. Her eyes no longer glowed with their supernatural light—a sign that the bloodhigh had faded.
A shiver ran through me, and her eyes flicked to mine briefly before she turned back to the letters on the desk.
Her seat had been converted into a bed, but I doubted she would use it.
She had an irritated look—her brows creased slightly and her lip quirked when she released another low, dissatisfied growl.
“What’s wrong?” I whispered.
The train had fallen into a quiet lull, the rhythmic clatter of the tracks and the occasional bump were the only sounds, and it felt wrong to disturb the quiet.
She lifted her head and gave me a disapproving look, one eyebrow raised.
“You should be sleeping,” she chided.
“How could I possibly get any sleep?” I stuttered, shivering against the cold. I sat up, wrapping the blanket tightly around myself.
Did she really think I could just sleep, after the way she left? In this cold?
