Saturday morningI woke up feeling off, and it mostly had to do with last night. It had been up and down and all around and twisted into a snarling knot. Highs and lows and I don’t knows.
We had definitely almost kissed several times and at the time I didn’t think it was a good idea, but looking back, I was livid at myself.
Why couldn’t I just have kissed her? It might have even been bad and then I wouldn’t be lying in bed while my kittens attacked my toes and wondering what her lips tasted like.
We could have kissed and gotten it over with. Satisfied curiosity. But no.
Did she even care? Was I the only one feeling this way?
I growled in frustration and grabbed both kittens so they’d leave my feet alone, setting them on my chest and rubbing their heads until they started purring. It didn’t solve all my problems, but it was something.
“I should have kissed her,” I told them. Tana licked my nose.
* * *
It was the weekend,but I had a lot of work I needed to catch up on, so I loaded my next narrating project on my tablet and spent most of the morning on the couch reading and making notes. It was a fantasy project with lots of interesting names, so I needed to make sure I had them right. The author had sent me a pronunciation guide, bless her, so I ended up doing a bunch of practicing.
Every time my mind would drift, it would get pulled toward Lea. Wondering what she was doing today. Wondering if she was thinking about me, about last night. If she was wondering why I hadn’t kissed her. Sure, she could have kissed me, she hadn’t done it either.
In frustration, I took the kittens for a walk and then went to the grocery store and ended up buying an entire blueberry cheesecake because sometimes you just needed cheesecake.
Lea didn’t contact me the whole day and I was starting to get paranoid about it the more hours I was awake.
Finally, I caved and sent her a video of the kittens being cute. It seemed like a good enough icebreaker.
Aw, I miss them.
Okay, she wasn’t angry at me. She would have ignored it if she’d been upset with me.
Seeing that as a good sign, I took a picture of the cheesecake and sent that too.
I slipped at the grocery store and this fell into my cart.
She sent a laughing emoji.
I’m sure that’s exactly what happened.
I paced around the kitchen, thinking about each and every word before I typed it out.
You could come over and help me with this situation. If you wanted to.
That didn’t sound too suggestive, did it? It wasn’t like I’d invited her to come over and eat my pussy. Now that was a mental image that wasn’t helpful at the current moment.
Tempting. Soooo tempting. But I’ve got a ton of work I need to get done, unfortunately. Save some for me?
Was she just saying that? Impossible to know.
I’ll bring a piece to Pilates with me.
How long could you keep cheesecake in a gym locker until it went bad? I looked it up online. Should be fine. Cutting a nice piece, I put it in a reusable container and set it in the fridge to bring with me tomorrow.
Post Pilates cheesecake sounds kind of incredible, I’m not going to lie.
Good, she deserved it. I’d start bringing her cheesecake every week if she wanted. Not to make up for not kissing her, but just because. I wouldn’t bring up the non-kissing unless she did. We’d just pretend a kiss never didn’t happen. Easy.
* * *
I madeeye contact with Lea the second I walked into the room on Sunday morning for class. It was less crowded than on Saturday, which was nice. I felt like I could have some more room as I spread my mat out and Lea came over to me.
