Christ, Dar. Grow a spine, brother. It’s embarrassing.
Garrett Meyer
Says the guy who asked his wife which brand of underwear she usually buys him.
Dean Meyer
Yeah, well, some of us need reinforced stitching and extra room. Don’t be bitter because we’re twins, yet you got ripped off.
Garrett Meyer
Ripped off? The only thing you got more of is hot air and ass hair.
Dean Meyer
Listen, Mala has never once complained about having something to hold on to. Plus, I’m hung like a Shire horse, while you’re hung like a Shetland pony.
Garrett Meyer
A Shire horse? Bro, the only horse you’re hung like is a My Little Pony.
Darian Meyer
Christ. Can I eat one meal without hearing about your dicks?
Dean Meyer
Relax, bro. We’re not leaving you out. You can be the miniature donkey—short, stubborn, and the kind no one wants to ride.
[Darian Meyerhas left the chat]
[Dean Meyerhas addedDarian Meyerto the chat]
Dean Meyer
Jesus. So sensitive.
Hudson Case
Can we table the Meyer brothers’ dick-measuring contest and get back to the bomb Patton dropped on us? @Patton Pierce, I’m assuming the baby is yours and not dojang douche’s?
Troy Winters
What’s the dude’s name? I remember Sarina telling me a while ago. Mikey? Miguel? Michelangelo?
Patton Pierce
Michael. And, fuck yeah, it’s mine. But she’s only five weeks along, so we’re being tight-lipped. Or, we WERE before I screwed up.
Troy Winters
Hmm. Michael seems too pedestrian. Could have sworn it was one of those “I peaked in high school” kind of names, like Mick or Mac.
Dev Menon
Congrats, Patton! That’s amazing news.
Dean Meyer
