The only thing thick in that room was everyone’s imagination. In any case, I certainly HAVEN’T been gargling any of his body parts, Piper!
Piper Menon
But you want to. Don’t even try to lie. Your stalking history of his IMDB page will testify against you.
Nisha Arora
I DO NOT stalk him! I looked him up ONE TIME, and that was only because he was co-starring with Henry Cavill, and I felt sorry for Henry in that scenario.
Sarina Arora
Bitch, please. You look him up so much, our browser at the salon autocompletes “Patton Pierce shirtless” anytime someone punches in “P”.
[Nisha Arorahas left the chat]
[Piper Menonhas addedNisha Arorato the chat]
Piper Menon
Okay fine, Neesh. We all know you don’t use the salon computer to look him up. You’re too prim and proper to diddle your fiddle at your place of work.
Nisha Arora
Jesus. It’s too early in the day to have a migraine. You guys need psychiatric help. And another hobby besides my vagina.
Piper Menon
Your vagina is this group’s collective hobby. And given that it’s the only one in this group to have grown back its hymen, we feel compelled to force it out of retirement.
Nisha Arora
My vagina is not in retirement! It’s just . . . on a break.
Kavi Case
Hasn’t it been seven years?
Piper Menon
Girl, that’s not a break; that’s a coma. At this point, it’s been dormant for so long, I bet we could carbon date it.
Rani Meyer
LOL! I literally choked on my coffee.
Nisha Arora
I truly hate every single one of you. And also, need I remind you of Micah? Things may not have worked out with him, but we did, you know, try.
Sarina Arora
That was so two years ago, and if by “try,” you mean you laid there thinking about the sweater you were going to knit for Rome while he jack hammered you like he was trying to dig his way to China, then sure, you get an A for effort, sis.
Nisha Arora
It wasn’t Micah’s fault. I’m just . . . hard to please.
Piper Menon
