The man doesn’t falter. He doesn’t waver. He puts me firmly in my place after I’ve spent hours of his time talking about how I’ve been running in circles.
“Everything she does makes me fall more in love with her, Beau. Since she first looked at me with those golden eyes, I’ve known she was a treasure I couldn’t ever be worthy of.” I close my eyes for a few seconds, picturing her perfect face. “I know there’s nothing I could do to deserve her, Beau. I know that.”
“You could be honest with her. You could let her seeyou. You could let her decide for herself whether or not she can handle what you share. You could ask her to stay. You could go with her.” His brows furrow then, and it’s the first sight of emotion he’s shown, even if his words are full ofthem. “You have options, Art. And if you don’t ask for what you want, you’re far less likely to get it.”
“You really think it’s that easy? Be honest and ask for what I want? Which, by the way, is to be wherever she is. Sure, it’d be nice to be close to my family now that my dad and I are mending things, but he’d understand. They all would.” That truth knocks into me hard and fast. My family would be sad to not have me close; they’d be sad not to have her close, too, but they’d understand. I know they would. And how fucking lucky am I that I get to have that.
“I never said it’d be easy, but yeah, it is. If you know she’s the one, then you either live with regret or you live knowing you did everything you could.” For the first time since we sat in his empty bar, he reaches for his phone. “Sorry, this is the fifth call from this number. Hello?” he says, lifting the phone to his ear. I know it’s not Josie because she has her own ringtone. “Yeah. Understood.”
There is zero indication of what his conversation is about until he blows out a slow breath and swears. My skin prickles because Beau doesn’t react to things. “Give me fifteen minutes. “ He hangs up, looping his car keys onto his fingers as he stands. “We gotta go.”
I follow him out, knowing whatever is happening is bigger than me right now. Plus, I know what to do. Beau, as usual, is right. I have to tell her everything. About my addiction, about being in love with her, all of it.
After we’ve driven in silence for a few minutes, it’s obvious we’re on the way to the hospital. Beau knows a lot of people, so I don’t bother guessing who it could be we’re going to see. I just don’t get why I’m with him.
“I’m gonna tell you what’s going on, and you need to accept that this is all I know. We’ll find out more when we get there, all right?” He turns to me briefly, catching my nod. “It was Alice. She was in a car accident. Gabrielcalled me after he couldn’t reach you. He doesn’t have all the details, but on the scene they assumed at least a couple of broken ribs and likely a pretty bad concussion.”
My stomach instantly starts to turn thinking about the pain she must be in. I reach for my phone, which I had turned off when I got to Beau’s. When it lights up, there are over twenty missed calls from Alice, Gabe, and Owen. “Gabriel is going to try to get some more information from the hospital, but that’s all he knows so far. She’s okay, Arthur. She’s alive.”
Several responses come to mind, and none of them make it out of my mouth. I can’t form words, not when guilt is eating me up from inside.
After a few more minutes of silence, Beau looks over at me again. My skin feels tight and my jaw is clenched so hard it’s starting to hurt, but I manage to say what I’ve been thinking. “She needed me, and I wasn’t there.”
“You were taking care of yourself so you could take care of her. You’re going to be there in a few minutes, and that matters, too.” Beau stops the car at the emergency door. “I’ll be right in.” I rush into the hospital, not registering any of the details around me. My body is moving, but I’m not sure how. I’m on autopilot. I need to get to her.
I expect to rush to a desk and beg for them to let me see her, but when I walk in, Rosemary, Gabriel, and Rafael are all there. They spot me at the same time, running over to me, talking at once. Ro shushes my brothers and grabs me by the shoulder. “She’s all right. We can’t see her yet because they’re doing a few more tests and scans, but she’s alive. Did you hear me, Arthur? She’s all right. I need you to take a breath now, kid.”
In the next second, a heavy set of arms is embracing me, and when I feel my brother’s chest expand against mine, I start to relax. After a few seconds, my breathingmatches his, and I suck in a lungful of air, clearing the haze in my brain. “That’s it, brother. You’re doing great.” Rafael’s voice brings me back, and when I look up, Gabriel’s concerned eyes are boring into me. “You got this. We’re here, and we’re not leaving you or her.” Raf loosens his hold on me, and Gabriel nods, agreeing with what he’s saying.
“Th—” I clear my throat of all the emotion there, the fear lodged so deep it’s practically another organ inside me. “Thank you,” I manage as I straighten, giving Raf’s arm a squeeze. “What do we do now?”
“Now we wait,” Gabriel answers.
“Together,” Rafael finishes for him.
“You guys don’t have to—” I start.
“We’re not leaving you, Arthur,” Raf repeats. His normally jovial face is serious in a way most people think him incapable of.
“And we’re not leaving Alice, either.” My mother’s voice comes from behind me, and when I see my dad standing next to her, it’s all I need to let my tears fall.
THIRTY-FIVE
taking care of you is also taking care of her right now
Arthur
“Sir, are you family?” the nurse asks me when I request information about Alice.
“No, I’m not, but I’m her roommate, I live with her, and?—”
“Unless she asks for you specifically or you’re listed as her emergency contact, we can’t give you any updates. I’m sorry.” She’s kind enough about the whole thing, but I’m frustrated, and I need to know if she’s okay.
“Art, I got through to the care facility.” Gabriel approaches me carefully, giving Raf a quick look before he continues, “Alice’s grandmother passed away earlier today.”
All the air leaves my lungs. She called me so many times, and I didn’t pick up. She needed me, and I wasn’t there.
Pushing past my brother, I head back to the nurse’s station. “Please, I need you to tell me what’s happeningwith Alice Preece.” I’m becoming agitated, and the person in front of me can clearly sense it.
