“Ojai. I can’t be here. Eventually, I’ll have to figure out how to sell Gran’s house, and I don’t know how much longer she has, but I can’t live in this town. Not when all my demons live here, too.” The swell of his throat bumps against my forehead when he swallows and nods. There’s nothing left to say.
TWENTY-ONE
not because I’m a sexist asshole, but because i value my life
Arthur
She let me hold her for a few more minutes, but the bomb she dropped was still detonating in my chest by the time we parted and I started driving again. The further we got from Ojai, the more Alice seemed to relax, and eventually she fell asleep. I’ve got some music on low enough not to disturb her, but then she lets out a snore and wakes herself up, making me chuckle.
“Are you laughing at me?” She turns to me with sleepy eyes and a wide grin, and this is the most beautiful she’s ever looked. The most at peace. And fuck, I love that it’s happening here. With me.
“I would never,” I answer, my voice serious while a smirk tugs at my lips.
“Yes, you would. As you should. I woke myself up with a snore, and I was probably drooling, too.” A small laugh quickly rolls through her before she shimmies a little, sitting up taller.
“I hope you don’t mind the music. Feel free to changeit, if you want.” I point to my phone, which doesn’t have a password on it—much to Owen and Raf’s dismay, since they work in security—but she shakes her head.
“No, this is great.” Her knee bounces along to the Post Malone song playing. “I don’t trust anyone who doesn’t like Posty. If you have Kendrick Lamar on this playlist, too, we’re officially allowed to be friends.” She smiles to herself again, looking out the window and mouthing the words to the song, and I hope and pray the next song is one of the several by Kendrick on this list.
Rosemary beatsus to the hotel we’re staying at in Paso Robles because she’s a speed demon. The woman is seventy and her right foot has only gotten heavier with every year I’ve known her.
I take my bag and Alice’s while she grabs what’s left of our snacks, and we walk in to pick up our keys. We’re on different floors, which I hate.
“You sure you’re okay to head to the first place in an hour?” I glance at my watch, making sure that’s all the time we have.
“Of course. You and Ro did all the work today. I was just your passenger princess.” Tilting her head to the side, she smiles, batting her eyelashes as she takes her bag from my hand. Playful Alice is truly something to behold. She’s light and sweet, funny and silly—and she’s these things despite clearly having a tortured past.
“You were a great passenger princess and snack buddy.” We get to her floor, but I place my hand on the elevator door to make sure it doesn’t close before I get mynext words out. “But, Alice?” She turns halfway, meeting my eyes. “Don’t downplay what you already did today, okay? Driving was nothing. Get a little rest, and I’ll see you soon?” She nods, and I let the door shut, counting down the minutes until I’m next to her again.
When we allmeet an hour later in the lobby, Alice has changed out of her jeans and into the breeches I have a love/hate relationship with. She wore them the day we worked with Cece, and apparently, it’ll be what she wears during sessions with clients, along with the branded polo. Her hair is up in a ponytail, and she has her backpack on. It’s adorable, seeing her so prepared and eager. But also hot as hell. Because this woman takes her job damn seriously, and she’s really fucking good at it.
“Stop staring,” Ro whispers to me with a light smack on the back of my head. “All right,” she says loud enough for Alice to hear, adding a clap. “I’m drivin’.”
“The hell you are, Ro,” I cut in as Alice watches with raised brows. “I’lldrive, thank you very much. And not because I’m a sexist asshole, but because I value my life. And Alice’s. You’re too heavy-footed for these roads.” That gets Rosemary laughing.
“Fine,” she says, “but only if we can all sit on the bench seat in the front of your truck. We can make an Alice sandwich.” She starts laughing at her own silliness, and Alice joins her.
“Rosemary, I really like you, but I’m sitting in the back.” Alice opens the back door as we approach myalready unlocked truck, and as she slides off her backpack, Ro takes it from her and places it on the back seat.
“Nah, you go up front. Sitting in the back seat makes me feel like a kid.” She shuts the door, deciding for us what the seating arrangements will be.
Nine minutes later, we arrive at the farm where there are two horses that are no longer needed since they’re transitioning their operations to mechanization. Alice seemed excited about these two because they’re draft horses—a Percheron and a Belgian—and naturally patient and calm animals.
Once introductions are made, one of the owners gives Rosemary and me space to evaluate the horses. He eyes Alice a little too closely, especially when she’s not looking, and I must make some kind of sound, because Rosemary tsks before saying, “Down, boy.” I blow out a breath and focus on the task at hand.
I haven’t met these horses before, so we take our time to see how they interact with each other, check them for scars or other physical issues. Alice is watching and taking notes on how they respond to us before coming to meet them.
So far, Moose, the Percheron, is doing great, but Buttercup has a diagonal corneal scar, so we need to make sure there isn’t any major vision loss there.
“What do you say we get to know each other a little bit, Mister Moose?” Alice approaches the gentle giant slowly, her voice soft. “Oh, I see those ears paying attention to my voice. That’s nice. Thank you.” She places a steady hand on his neck, and the damn horse leans right into it. “What if I try to lead you over here? Will you come with me?” Of course, he does, and she rewards him with more gentle touches. “That was so good, Moose. Can we try using a brush?” She moves slowly, picking up a brushwhere he can see it, and he remains calm. When she picks up each hoof, he remains watchful, but at ease, and when she gives him a squeeze to the fetlock, it’s clear her encouragement works. They’re both doing great, and my God, I like watching her. I don’t think she knows,trulyknows, how good she is at putting people—and horses—at ease.
I wasn’t there when she got to know Scout and the other horses, but the team were so impressed with how calm she was with them, how she never pushed them too far, too fast. I see it now.
Moose doesn’t seem to mind the brushing, and when Alice moves quicker than before, he perks up, but doesn’t startle. She’s not showing any exterior excitement, but she must be pretty damn happy right about now because this horse is being an angel. Or maybe she’s the angel and Moose knows it.
I continue to watch from afar, not interrupting or making any noise. Rosemary isn’t far away, and I know she’s going to have something to say about the hearts in my eyes as I watch Alice work, but fuck, how can I not?
“How did he seem to you?” When she turns to face me, her eyes are like champagne bubbles, pale gold with an inner shimmer when they meet mine. She looks back at the horse, who’s nudging her for attention, and she giggles. “Oh, I see. You want all my attention, huh?” Smart animal. He lowers his head, and she embraces him. “Oh my gosh, I think I love him,” she whispers as I walk closer to them.
