I’ve just finished my avocado toast when Luther’s whimper pulls me out of my thoughts. I’ve been trying to spend more time around him. Now that Scout is staying in the therapy barn more often, I’m not always in the main barn where Luther likes to stay. Since the first girls’ night, I let him out of his room for a bit if he’s not being too rambunctious. He’s only gotten calmer, though. I don’t know what’s changed, but he hardly ever barks, and there’s no more jumping up at me, either.
Opening the door slowly, I lower my other hand for him to sniff, which he happily does before licking it. When I kneel down, he approaches me carefully and sits in front of me, waiting for ear scratches. “Such a good boy, Luther.” He licks at my face, making me giggle, and the force of his kisses throws me off balance enough that I topple over. He keeps licking me, eventually throwing himself on top of me for belly rubs while he kisses my face off. My laughter erupts out of me, and I wonder how I ever felt afraid of this dog. He is nothing but pure joy and love.
Someone else’s laughter registers, and I look up to find Arthur taking in the scene in front of him.
“I get it now,” he says with his hands in his pockets anda smile that reaches all the way up to his brown eyes. “I get the nickname now. Whinny.”
I gasp in mock shock because I know why Sam picked the name and everyone agreed. My laughter is loud, like a horse’s whinny, and though it doesn’t always come out, when it does, you know. And now Arthur knows.
“No, it’s good. You have a great laugh.” He watches me for a beat, eyes studying every part of me. “The best,” he whispers so low I’d have missed it if I hadn’t been watching his lips move. He makes a tsk sound that he usually uses to call Luther to him, and he obediently goes to his owner, sitting and patiently waiting for a reward. “Stay, Luther.” Again, the dog does as he’s told, and Arthur walks to me, extending both of his hands to help me up. I take them, and when I’m on my feet again, we’re so close I have to strain my neck to look up at him.
“Thanks,” I mumble, taking a step back. “Did you come back to get him?”
“Yeah, he’s gonna be at the main barn today, then go home with Paige.” Something about the tightness of his expression doesn’t sit right with me.
“Is there anything else you need to do to prep for leaving? Anything I can help with?” As I ask, he takes a step away from me.
I’m hit with a wave of doubt, wondering if I shouldn’t go on this trip after all. But it’s part of my job, so personal feelings need to be set aside.
We’re only going to be gone for a couple of nights, and Rosemary is coming, too, so this will be fine. If anything, it’ll be nice to have a little separation between Arthur and me now that we won’t be sharing a living space.
With his stony expression firmly in place, he answers me, “I’m good. How about you? Need help with anything?”
“Nope. I’m all set.” When I smile, he doesn’t return it, he studies me in that way of his that makes me feel like he sees right through me.
“All right, then. I’ll see ya.” With a nod, he turns, patting his leg for Luther to join him and finally rewarding the dog with a treat.
Two hours later,I’m about to load my bags into Rosemary’s trunk when a large hand covers mine, taking the probably too-heavy duffel with more ease than I ever could. “You’re with me, goldie.” Arthur places my bag gently in the backseat of his truck while I stare in horror. Or shock. Or both?
“Yeah, I’m gonna drive on my own. You two kids go together so I can enjoy my peace and quiet, and you can listen to whatever singsongy shit you like. In case anything happens here and one of us needs to come back, we have two vehicles.” My current boss smiles proudly at me before getting into her car. I watch her drive away, still not sure I understand what’s happening.
“It was her idea,” Arthur says from behind me. Well of course it was. It couldn’t possibly be Arthur’s idea to want to spend more time with the person who’s already infiltrated nearly every area of his life.
I turn on my heel, and awkwardly hold up the purse in my hand. “It’s fine.” Feeling like an idiot, I get into his truck, trying not to breathe in his spicy scent that’s mixed with leather. Turns out trying not to breathe is a really good way to get lightheaded, and when I take a deep inhale, I catch him watching me in my peripheral.
“You good?” he asks, turning the ignition as the truck rumbles to life.
“Mmhm.” I keep my eyes locked on the view in frontof me as it changes from the long driveway out of the ranch and onto the quiet street. As we drive through town, I keep my head down, unwilling to look at the park I always wanted to play at as a kid but couldn’t because my mom never took me. I keep my eyes on my lap when we pass the elementary school where I was endlessly teased for having a mom who was responsible for at least two divorces in my fifth-grade class.
“Do you mind if we make a quick pit stop here? Figured we can get snacks. It’s about a four-hour drive.” He waits for my quiet yes before turning into the parking lot of the convenience store. Normally, I avoid places close to where I used to live, but I haven’t had any run-ins with anyone since I got here, so I walk into the store next to Arthur, hoping today will be no different.
He’s picking out chips while I grab a couple of candy bars and a Diet Coke. As I set my things on the counter to pay for them, the woman behind me puts a hand on my shoulder and says, “I was so sorry to hear about your grandmother.” I face her, not wanting to be impolite as she continues talking. “After what happened with your mom, too. She probably couldn’t handle it all, you know? Losing a daughter like that and then having to raise her kid? It’s a lot for anyone...” She keeps talking, unaware or maybe uncaring of the wounds she’s opening up. I can’t hear her anymore because all I’m able to focus on is Arthur’s face as he walks up behind her, so I do the only thing I can. I leave my things on the counter and rush out the door.
It’s not until I’m back in the truck, hugging my knees, that the tears register, and before I can wipe them away, Arthur is inside, heaving like he ran over here with his arms full of snacks. He tosses everything into the back seat before facing me.
“Alice,” he says, so softly it has a sob bursting out ofme. I can’t look at him. It’ll make me cry harder. “I don’t know who that was, but seeing that this is your reaction, I’m really glad I told her to respectfully fuck off.”
That gets a watery laugh out of me, because it’s exactly what she deserves. Minus the respectfully. The laugh becomes more sobbing, though, because now there’s no controlling it. In a flash, Arthur moves across the bench seat and pulls me into him. “It’s all right, tesouro, I’ve got you.”
I don’t like to let myself dwell on sadness. Normally, I find something to pull me out of it, like thinking of something I’m grateful for. This time, having his arms wrapped around me is what makes it easier to let go of the hurt that person unwittingly caused. Or maybe it’s that I believe him when he says he’s got me, and right now, he’s what I’m grateful for.
Once I wipe the last of my tears away, he takes a deep breath. I know he wants to ask me, but I don’t need him to. “That was an old neighbor. Jan or Jane, I don’t remember. She was talking about the fact my mom died when I was a kid, and since no one even knew who my biological father was, my grandmother took me in. Gran had also been a single mom, so raising another girl on her own wasn’t exactly something she was excited about. In fact, she never let me forget how I had put a wrench in her plans of retiring early and traveling. Now she’s sick. She has Alzheimer’s, and I had no idea because I left Ojai when I graduated from high school. I never came back, but then she nearly set her house on fire, and her doctor determined she’d either need me to care for her full-time or put her in a facility. That’s why I’m here. The fact that my job became available exactly when I needed it to felt like an absolute miracle.”
“Maybe it was,” he responds quietly. “Thank you fortelling me. For being honest with me.” As his words land, I shut my eyes tightly to keep any more tears from escaping.
“I can’t stay. I’m leaving,” I whisper, almost hoping he doesn’t hear me.
“Leaving where?” His calmness never falters.
