Evander closed his eyes as the pain cut through him anew, digging deeper into his chest. He was being carved open, sliced in two with merciless brutality.
Mona was slowly destroying him, one word at a time.
He would never recover from this.
“Mona,” he rasped, unable to speak without leaking more tears. “What if I never find it?”
She lifted her arms, wrapping them around him and bringing his body against hers. He leaned his head on her shoulder, weeping freely. She clung to him, gripping him tightly as her own frame shook with sobs.
“I willalwaysbe there for you, Evander. Always. From here to eternity, my soul will always find yours.”
His heart seized from those words. He had uttered them to her in the Underworld after they had made love. She had saved his life then. Gods, it felt like eons ago.
How Evander wished to go back to that moment, when he knew exactly what he wanted and what his life should be like.
“If you leave me and are unable to find yourself, to find anything else worth living for, I will remain by your side,” Mona said. “No matter how broken you might feel or how lost you are, I will be with you. But… please try. Will you try?”
She pulled back to look into his eyes, her hands still cupping his face as if he were something precious. As if he were worth anything at all. “Please try, my darling. For me. I—I cannot lose you.Please.” She sniffed, her face streaming with tears.
His throat was so tight with emotion that he couldn’t breathe. He couldn’t speak. He leaned his forehead against hers and justfelther. Held her. Touched her.
Mona was right. He was clinging to her because she was all he had left. His river was gone. His realm was broken. And now, his immortality would soon be lost, leaving him with nothing but a fragile mortal existence.
He would be frail and breakable after this. He wouldn’t be able to take any more risks.
One misstep, and he could die. The terror on Mona’s face told him she was thinking this, too.
He was out of second chances. This was it. And she was right—if he couldn’t find himself or find something else worth living for, he would waste away. He would throw himself off a cliff just tofeelsomething, and then his life would be over.
Their love—their story—would be over.
“You know I would give anything, right?” Evander whispered. “I would giveanythingto feel whole again. To live a life with you, content and unbothered.”
Perhaps such a fantasy didn’t exist. Perhaps he would spend the rest of his life yearning for something that could never be.
What kind of life would that give Mona?
She offered him a watery smile. “Yes, I know. I know you didn’t choose this. And I know it’s not your fault or your doing. Sometimes our souls long for something we cannot recognize until we find it. And Goddess, I hope you find it, Evander. I hope you find it soon.”
She stood on her tiptoes and kissed him. Her lips were salty with her tears, but Evander captured her mouth fully as if he had never tasted anything more delicious in all his life. His fingers tightened along her waist, drawing her closer. She angled her head, her tongue sweeping over his mouth and parting his lips. His hands pressed into her back. One hand inched upward, his fingers threading through her long black hair.
Gods, she tasted divine. She tasted likehome.
A hollow ache built in his chest, an echo of the beast who had once lived inside him. The creature who loved Mona just as he did.
He and Typhon had been one, both drawn to Mona, soothed by her presence. Now, a part of him had died.
He would be seeking for that other half of himself forever. Seeking, seeking, seeking… but never finding.
When they finally broke apart, gasping for breath, Evander murmured against her lips, “Live your life, Mona.Don’t wait for me. If I’m able, I’ll find you again. But if I don’t…” He trailed off, unable to utter the words.
If he didn’t find her again, it either meant he had fully lost himself… or he had died.
Mona blinked rapidly, her eyes glistening. “Evander?—”
“If our roles were reversed, what would you have me do?”
Her mouth clamped shut at that, and he knew the answer. Hell, she had given herself up to the darkest magic so that Prue could live her life and be happy.
