Mona was silent for a moment. “Right now? But… the witches need our help. The Titans are still out there.”
Evander withdrew from her, and she dropped her hand. His cheek instantly cooled, and he yearned for her touch once more. He shook his head. “I cannot stay here. I have… debts to pay.”
Her brows knitted together. “What does that mean?”
“There was a price required in order for us to find where the Titans were hiding. Now, I have to go and fulfill what is owed.”
Mona drew closer to him, then gripped his hands in hers. “Evander, speak plainly. Justtellme what it is. I can handle it.”
“I offered my immortality,” Evander said, his voice barely above a whisper. “I made a bargain with the spirits of theUndead Wilds. In exchange for their help, I promised to give them my immortality. And now I must go back and fulfill my end of the deal.”
Mona’s face paled, and her head reared back. Her mouth fell open as she stared at him. “Evander, youdidn’t…”
He tightened his hold on her wrists and looked at her with a fierce expression. “There isnothingI would not do for you, Mona. Surely you understand that.”
Her eyes filled with tears. “But you have so much more than justme, Evander. So much more of your life to live. You have a brother. A home. A duty to your kingdom and your people.”
Evander scoffed. “They mean nothing to me.” He said the words without thinking.
Mona took a step back, her eyes wide. “You don’t mean that.”
“Youare all I need.” He wanted to reach for her, but thatwrongnessin his chest tightened, making it difficult to breathe. He rubbed his forehead. “Please try to understand, Mona. I couldn’t just let you die.Yougave up your life to save your village. And then you jumped into a deadly whirlpool to save Prue. How is this any different?”
She tilted her head at him, those otherworldly emerald eyes seeming to see straight through him. “Butwhydid you do it, Evander?”
“To save you!” How could she not see it? How could she not see that he would give upeverythingfor her? Did she not understand the depth of his love for her? “Mona, I love you. I need you. We should be together.”
Mona’s eyes moistened, and she took a shudderingbreath. “I love you, too. But… I fear you only saved me so you could save yourself.”
It felt like she had struck him. His chest seemed to split open from her words, and he stared at her in horror. “How can you say that?”
“You don’t know who you are, Evander.” The sorrow in her voice pierced straight through his heart, making him feel emotions he didn’t want to face. “And you needmein order to feel like yourself again.”
His nostrils flared, and he shook his head. “So, this is the thanks I get for my sacrifice? You lecture me on my motivations? Should I have left you to die by the hands of the Titans, then? Is that what you would have preferred?”
“Of course not!” she cried. “But Evander, you are lost! And clinging to me is not going to help you. Taking needless risks is not going to give you the answers you seek.”
Then what is?he wanted to ask. There were only two things that had ever made him feel alive: Typhon and Mona.
Now, he was on the brink of losing both.
He was on the brink of losinghimself.
Gods, he couldn’t bear it. His soul was ripping in two. His inner turmoil was slowly tearing himself apart. He wouldn’t be able to bear this much longer. Heat burned behind his eyes, and he blinked rapidly before he started to weep.
He straightened, projecting a confidence he did not feel. In a strained voice, he said, “So, will you come with me, or not?”
Are you with me, or not?
Am I going to lose you, or not?
Is this the end… or not?
A million questions raced through his thoughts, circling faster and faster, making him feel nauseous and desperate, panicked and afraid.
A tear raced down Mona’s cheek. She closed the distance between them and placed her hand on his cheek. His own tear met her fingertip, and she caught it before brushing it away. He couldn’t stop the moisture from pooling and coursing down his face, much like his very soul was plummeting. Down, down, down, so far into the abyss that he could no longer reach it.
“Pay your debts, Evander,” Mona whispered. “Find yourself. Find a purpose that gives you life. Something that takes your breath away. Something that isn’tme.When you’ve found it, I’ll be waiting for you.”
