I rolled my eyes and laughed a lil’, takin’ the blunt. “Ain’t nothin’ wrong, bitch.”
“Yeah, okay,” she said, laughin’. “Toni Roc not talkin’? That’s a damn lie if I ever heard one. So, go ahead, what’s going on with you?”
I held the smoke in for a second before lettin’ it out slow. “It’s Kay’Lo.”
She tilted her head. “That man again? What he do now?”
I shrugged, feelin’ my chest get tight. “He been pressin’ me about this baby shit again. I swear, it’s like he wake up talkin’ about it and go to sleep talkin’ about it.”
Pluto smirked, leanin’ back in her chair. “I already know. Pressure told me he been on that. He said Kay’Lo talking about wanting a baby.”
“It’s not even that I don’t want one,” I said, passin’ the blunt back. “I do. I just don’t like the way he keep pushin’ it. He talk to me like it’s somethin’ I owe him. And every time I try to say somethin’, he act like I’m stallin’ or avoidin’ it.”
Pluto nodded, smokin’ and thinkin’. “Girl, you know these Mensah men all about legacy. Pressure the same way. He’s talking about another baby like my body ain’t already been through enough. I told him I’m tired. He talking about family names and bloodlines. I said, boy, please.”
We both laughed, but I could tell she understood me.
Then her voice dropped a lil’. “But I get where he coming from too. You know how they were raised. Legacy mean everything to them. Plus, I think a baby might calm Kay’Lo down, and give him somethin’ to protect that’s not just you. Even I know Kay’Lo loves hard, but he need something that pull that energy somewhere else.”
I laughed under my breath. “Girl, Kay’Lo ain’t never gon’ calm down. That man built different. He sweet when he wanna be, but he a wild boy at heart.”
Pluto smiled, shakin’ her head. “You right about that. He definitely different from Pressure, but I ain’t gon’ lie, he love you hard, Toni. There ain’t too many men who will stand ten toes behind they woman like that.”
“I know he love me,” I said low. “I just feel like it’s a lot right now. I’m not sayin’ no, I just don’t like feelin’ pushed into somethin’. Let me get there on my own time, you know?”
Pluto nodded, leanin’ forward. “I get it, but you gotta talk to him. Communication, girl. If you don’t tell him how you feel, he’s going to keep doing what he think is right. You just gotta sit him down and talk it out.”
I looked at her and nodded just to end it. “Yeah, I’ll talk to him.”
Pluto gave me that look like she knew I was cappin’. “Mmhmm. I say that, but we both know talking to Kay’Lo ain’t ever as simple as it sound.”
We both laughed again, but the truth hung between us. It wasn’t that I was scared to talk to him, I just knew how it would go. He’d listen, nod, say “a’ight,” and then still do what he wanted.
We finished the blunt and sat out there another hour, talkin’ about random shit, but my mind was stuck on him. I kept seein’ his face, the way he look when he serious, and the way he talk when he mean somethin’. I loved him with everything in me, but sometimes lovin’ Kay’Lo felt like holdin’ somethin’ wild that could break free at any second.
By the time I got home, the sky was dark, and my mood had settled somewhere between tired and uneasy. I walked through the door, and the smell of smoke hit me right away. Kay’Lo wasin the livin’ room, leaned back on the couch with a blunt in one hand and a glass in the other. He had on gray sweats, no shirt.
He looked up when I came in. “Come here, baby.”
His voice was calm, and smooth and he had that kind of tone that made you forget whatever you was just mad about. I walked over, and before I could even sit down, he grabbed my waist and pulled me right into his lap. His hand slid up my thigh, his lips hittin’ my neck like he missed me even though I was only gone for a few hours.
“I missed you,” he said low, his voice deep in my ear.
“I was just at Pluto’s,” I said, smilin’ a lil’.
“I know where you was,” he said, rubbin’ my leg. Y’all talk about me?”
I laughed. “Why you say it like that?”
“‘Cause I know y’all did,” he said, grinnin’.
I tried to change the subject, but he was already smirkin’ like he knew somethin’. Then, outta nowhere, he said, “I went ahead and booked that appointment.”
I frowned. “What appointment?”
“The fertility specialist,” he said, plain as day.
I turned my head to look at him. “You did what?”
